what are you talking about? i dont really know what to say to this because i dont know if you are just going to get over this is a day or so...but i hate seeing things like this from you. you have awesome friends, and many of them. Maybe you expect too much from them...i dont really know. but im saying this to you as a true friend, not to be malicious or rude, but you need to grow up. you want all this attention and stuff from your entries, but people are going to get sick of always having to tell you that you have friends. No one wants enjoys being pressured to prove their friendship all the time. Just live life and cherish what you have. The truth is that you are going to ostracize yourself, not the other way around. I dont want that to happen to you, so i am telling you to get over it. you always want certain "people" to call you all the time and stuff, but would it kill you to call them? i think not. and maybe thats what you have to do for a bit. i bet you people are accostumed to you being busy with wrestling and homework and stuff, so by calling them then you let them know that you want to hang out, that you arent too busy all the time. And if this is a case of you being stressed or just a little depressed, dont take it out on your friends and, consequently, make the situation worse. Its not fair to make them always prove their freindship to you. you know that they are there for you, so dotn worry about anything else. Just roll with the punches, take some bullshit, give a little, and itll work out alright, I am here for you, and i know that you know that. But when you say stuff like this, it is like a slap in the face. Its hard for me to understand exactly what is goin on right now with you sometimes, but i am trying. Dont say things like "i have no friends" because that is absolutely ridiculous! What do you think i am? drew? maddie? mike? zach? chris? prus? smalls? alison? and everyone else that is "the circle".....i mean when you think about it, you have so many people that consider themselves your friend. what more do you want? i cant imagine how you are so unhappy with them all. Stop trying to get all this attention from people who are already giving what they can to you. They arent going to be able to give much more, so they will give up. Then youd really have no friends, and no life. I am not going to let that happen, but then again i cant control your actions. Thats why i am telling you to simply grow up.
i dont know if you know but first off, i do call people. i call everyone. i guess im just sick of having to do everything to make something happen, like hang out or whatever, between me and friends. and maybe your right about everything. and this, i guess, isnt only about this. maybe im really just an immature ass who needs to grow up, maybe i am doing this for attention, maybe i am trying to get people to prove their friendships. for the latter, i would say that if that was true its because i dont feel that that particular friendship is still in existence or is very strong or as strogn as i thought it was. i dont really agree with everything you said but i guess ill just have to live with it, take in more shit and just fucking deal with it, right? another thing, i dont even know what the hell the "circle" is. im so clueless about everything with everyone. im not trying to piss you off or anything but i dont know anymore. maybe im doing this because im trying to say something but i dont know what it is, and people just arent getting it. im sorry i said i have no friends. i do. im sorry im just an immature ass. ill grow up. im sorry im so depressed. ill be happy. im sorry im fed up with feeling like i have a shit life. ill try harder to take in the shit and deal with it. and most of all im sorry im taking this out on you and everyone. ill just keep it to myself.
Taelor
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