ups and downs

[vandershit]

ups and downs
without any of the spinning
and it makes me feel sick

making me want to scream silently in the rain with my clothes hanging off of my skin bones
soon to be skin and bones

there's no good way through this terrifying jungle
and no one knows whats on the other side

god I hope its so fucking sunny on the other side
because if its not..
I might as well get everything over with now

I'm so terrified of the now
but wouldn't it be less painful if there was no time to taunt me?