(no subject)

[vandelizedheart]

Ok;x i love chris ;D it's official, he is soooooooo great...lol tonight was the worst thing ever, we argued constantly, i never want to go through that again, i feel like im going to die now;/ but i`m happier than i was earlier, we argue constantly, and it's all because i`m a tightass, and im not realizing what is in front of me, well tonight was a big smack upside the head with reality, because now i understand i overreact alot, and i`m going to work on not doing it at all ;/ he means wayyy too much for me to let it slip away so easily.. i was thinking a few minutes ago, and i dont even know where i'd be or what i'd be doing right now, if i hadnt stumbled upon him that night in a chatroom...he is so dreamy..like the only thing i've ever wanted, and i cant let it go ;| it would be the dumbest fucking thing ever, it's like i just met him, and feelings developed WAY quickly, and i love this feeling, i love the feeling i get when he tells me he loves me, it gives me butterflies, or when he just randomly asks "are you ok?" and i say "yes" and he says ok;/ but i hate it when something really is bothering me and i dont tell him ,which is whyyyyyyyyyyyyy i've come to the conclusion im not going to be a pussy anymore either, and im gonna talk to him ;x lol i`m sick of being shy ;\ it's totally...i dont know, i am never shy but i told him i was ;/ to make myself feel better, because there's something about him that makes me scared to talk, he intimidates me ;o lol...in a good way like when we're talking he makes me forget anything bad that's happening and it's an unbelievable feeling, NO GUY has ever made me feel this way and the way he always tells me how beautiful i am, and how happy he is, i just get blown away, it's a different thing each day with him ;/ and i love it.. its something i've been looking for and thought i would never find, and welp what do ya know.. i wasnt looking and i found it, and i`m like overly joyed that it happened when it did, because i was on the verge (sp) of getting with someone i didnt love , and probably wouldnt be happy with, and definitely not this happy i really believe me and chris will be together for a long time.. (hopefully) i can see us being together .. definitely on down the road, i never want to lose him , the day i do... god help if im this stubborn and shit now, if i lose him...christ all mighty lord help my friends and anyone else down the road, because i will admit i'll be one fucked up person after losing what i have now... i`m so happy i could so on forever just typing i`m so happy i`m so happy i`m so happy i`m so happy i`m so happy i`m so happy i`m so happy i`m so happy i`m so happy i`m so happy i`m so happy i`m so happy i`m so happy i`m so happy i`m so happy lol THATS HOW PATHETICALLY IN LOVE I AM, not really pathetic, but i`m head over heels, <3333333333333333 ty chris for coming into my life.

-sings "angelllll of mineee"-
(gin)