Crazy Life.
Back to my old mindset. Sometimes, I don't think I will ever escape it.
I am starting to hate my birthday. It is in 6 days. I do not even care. No one cares. I plan my birthday every year, and what the fuck do I always do? The same fucking thing. Go out to eat. Most people think that their birthday is their day. Rightfully so. My parents still do that with me, but that's it. I guess I am not just a little kid anymore. I hate sharing birthdays too...I am always overshadowed.
Yeah, I bet I sound like a spoiled little bitch don't I?? Hell yeah I do! I can fully admit that.
This year, I am turning 20. Part of me doesn't want to. Well, there isn't much I can do about it. I thought so many times about just sitting on my ass for my birthday. But I would cry. Cry through the whole fucking day. It is sad when you start to think of your birthday as just another day. That is the point I am getting to.
I do want to go to Cleveland, very bad. I want to see the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. That is it. I just want to go and be surrounded by music....since that is the love of my life. The only love of my life! But does anyone else really want to go? Most likely not. So fuck it. Everyone just go about your weekend as normal...
Ya know what else? I am not sure what I want to do with my life anymore. A music video director? Eh. Maybe. It pisses me off. I have no clue what the fuck I am doing!! I have a sinking feeling that I won't ever be happy. I get pissed because I never get what I want...but do I have any fucking clue what I want. Hell no. Not when it comes to my future.
I hate school. I hate everything about it. I hate waking up and going. I hate just sitting there. I hate the teachers and the people in there. They are all douchebags. I don't go. At all. I miss class all the time. I am lucky if I go once a week. Yeah. Slacker eh? My mom told me I should just drop out since I never go. That made me feel awesome. It actually hurt my feelings. She has always been my number one supporter of everything I do....however, I am not sure if she was just using reverse psychology...but it worked...slightly.
I don't know what I am doing anymore. I want so many things...but will never get them.
I am giving up on guys too. It's just a game. Fuck it.
Bring on the cats!
I am starting to hate my birthday. It is in 6 days. I do not even care. No one cares. I plan my birthday every year, and what the fuck do I always do? The same fucking thing. Go out to eat. Most people think that their birthday is their day. Rightfully so. My parents still do that with me, but that's it. I guess I am not just a little kid anymore. I hate sharing birthdays too...I am always overshadowed.
Yeah, I bet I sound like a spoiled little bitch don't I?? Hell yeah I do! I can fully admit that.
This year, I am turning 20. Part of me doesn't want to. Well, there isn't much I can do about it. I thought so many times about just sitting on my ass for my birthday. But I would cry. Cry through the whole fucking day. It is sad when you start to think of your birthday as just another day. That is the point I am getting to.
I do want to go to Cleveland, very bad. I want to see the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. That is it. I just want to go and be surrounded by music....since that is the love of my life. The only love of my life! But does anyone else really want to go? Most likely not. So fuck it. Everyone just go about your weekend as normal...
Ya know what else? I am not sure what I want to do with my life anymore. A music video director? Eh. Maybe. It pisses me off. I have no clue what the fuck I am doing!! I have a sinking feeling that I won't ever be happy. I get pissed because I never get what I want...but do I have any fucking clue what I want. Hell no. Not when it comes to my future.
I hate school. I hate everything about it. I hate waking up and going. I hate just sitting there. I hate the teachers and the people in there. They are all douchebags. I don't go. At all. I miss class all the time. I am lucky if I go once a week. Yeah. Slacker eh? My mom told me I should just drop out since I never go. That made me feel awesome. It actually hurt my feelings. She has always been my number one supporter of everything I do....however, I am not sure if she was just using reverse psychology...but it worked...slightly.
I don't know what I am doing anymore. I want so many things...but will never get them.
I am giving up on guys too. It's just a game. Fuck it.
Bring on the cats!