Every Horror Movie Ever
I didn't come up with this but I sure did think it was funny. Someone named cjlines on Den of Geek in his comment like a year ago put this together.
A group of attractive, wise-cracking teenagers investigate a series of murders at their high school. After lots of referential genre jokes, the laughing stops as they realise that they're investigating their own murders. They're the ones who are dead! Turns out that what they thought was their school isn't actually their school; they were brought here - to an Eastern European torture chamber made out to look like a school - to be sold to American sadists for torture. We flashback for forty minutes of solid grimness - all egg whisks and rusty razors - after which several of the teens, in the present day, go all clicky-limbed and start crawling on the ceilings, dripping their lank black hair onto the remaining floor-bound teens. As the school fills up with water, we see the torturers running away in horror, but they can't escape! The walls of the school/torture-house are all bricked up. A TV flicks to life in the corner. It's a James Wan puppet! The puppet announces that it's playing a game and for the torturer's lack of respect for human life, they must perish at the hands of the soggy dead teens and the CGI water that's now up to their shoulders. There's a close-up of a drowning torturer, then Wes Craven steps out, grins at the camera and says "cut". We zoom out to reveal whole cast, some wearing prosthetic wounds, laughing and smiling. Eli Roth runs by with a dog. As we pan away, the final shot is of a hockey mask, lying discarded in the wings. A zombie hand picks it up and murmurs "Brraaaaains". Credits roll to the sound of Linkin Park mashed-up with Eastern European folk music.
A group of attractive, wise-cracking teenagers investigate a series of murders at their high school. After lots of referential genre jokes, the laughing stops as they realise that they're investigating their own murders. They're the ones who are dead! Turns out that what they thought was their school isn't actually their school; they were brought here - to an Eastern European torture chamber made out to look like a school - to be sold to American sadists for torture. We flashback for forty minutes of solid grimness - all egg whisks and rusty razors - after which several of the teens, in the present day, go all clicky-limbed and start crawling on the ceilings, dripping their lank black hair onto the remaining floor-bound teens. As the school fills up with water, we see the torturers running away in horror, but they can't escape! The walls of the school/torture-house are all bricked up. A TV flicks to life in the corner. It's a James Wan puppet! The puppet announces that it's playing a game and for the torturer's lack of respect for human life, they must perish at the hands of the soggy dead teens and the CGI water that's now up to their shoulders. There's a close-up of a drowning torturer, then Wes Craven steps out, grins at the camera and says "cut". We zoom out to reveal whole cast, some wearing prosthetic wounds, laughing and smiling. Eli Roth runs by with a dog. As we pan away, the final shot is of a hockey mask, lying discarded in the wings. A zombie hand picks it up and murmurs "Brraaaaains". Credits roll to the sound of Linkin Park mashed-up with Eastern European folk music.