(no subject)

[vancleef]

I wish that my own passions were enough for me. I waiver; I always want someone there to watch, approve or challenge me. I thrive on intimacy. I've had it once, and now I have it in ghost form; I can watch the corporeal, the vessel that appeals to my memories (memories never suffice). I have these moments of such intense joy, they are such empty frames of my life, they are windows, I just stand to look out to see eternity twisted.

I dream about forgetting everything; how torturous and frightening it'd be; I think of how ugly blank canvas is (it's the opportunity that is beautiful).