why why why why why?
I am so fucking upset at myself. I don't even know why.
No, y'know what? I'm not upset so much as "royally pissed off" at myself. Shit! It's not fair. There's six billion people on this planet all looking for happiness. No! Not even. We're gonna say that there are thirty million in Canada alone. Shit, let's just take this city. Two million. Done. If you peg it at 10%, you've got 200 000 queers. Half of these are male. 100 000. There's 99 999 other people out there, so why the fuck can't I just do what everybody else seems to do and be happy? I know that it's me, wanting so badly to find something that just refuses to show itself.
This Mike character. Why is it that the one that you really want to call...the one that you really want to pursue...is always the hardest? We want what we cannot have, I understand, but why must it always be that way?
I walked by John yesterday. I felt so embarrassed. So unbelievably embarrassed. Wanted to die. No, I really wanted to go up to him and say that I'm sorry. He has no reason to accept the apology, but I don't care.
There's more on my chest, but it will have to wait.
No, y'know what? I'm not upset so much as "royally pissed off" at myself. Shit! It's not fair. There's six billion people on this planet all looking for happiness. No! Not even. We're gonna say that there are thirty million in Canada alone. Shit, let's just take this city. Two million. Done. If you peg it at 10%, you've got 200 000 queers. Half of these are male. 100 000. There's 99 999 other people out there, so why the fuck can't I just do what everybody else seems to do and be happy? I know that it's me, wanting so badly to find something that just refuses to show itself.
This Mike character. Why is it that the one that you really want to call...the one that you really want to pursue...is always the hardest? We want what we cannot have, I understand, but why must it always be that way?
I walked by John yesterday. I felt so embarrassed. So unbelievably embarrassed. Wanted to die. No, I really wanted to go up to him and say that I'm sorry. He has no reason to accept the apology, but I don't care.
There's more on my chest, but it will have to wait.