I recieved this in an email from a friend
My Comments in brackets []
From The People of Texas
We Texans love y'all, but we'll have to take action since Obama won president over McCain. We'll miss you too. [I am not a big fan of Big O but do you not think this is a little drastic?]
Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get used to the results. After seeing the whiners along the campaign route, the folks from Texas are considering taking matters into our hands. [Right, because nothing is as All American and picking up your ball and going home]
Here is our solution:
#1: Elect Barak Obama President of the United States. (All 49 states.)
[There are 50 States. And succession is now illegal. Learn your history please.]
#2: T. Boone Pickens becomes the President of the Republic Of Texas.
[Because those who are in Big Oil's pockets have done great so far]
So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?
1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. (We will control the space industry.)
[Actually NASA has locations all over the US.]
2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.
[And because of that the US will just let us succeed without a fight.]
3. Defense Industry. (We have over 65% of it) The term "Don't mess with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning.
[Please tell me, after we leave the US, who is going to buy all of that stuff? Are you suggesting we sell to terrorists?]
4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.
["Yankee states" will just bring in more oil at different ports.}
5. Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern states. John Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm....
[Once again, I know you are in Texas, but we do have a public school system here. I believe the person you referencing would be Al Gore]
6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, Etc, Etc. The list goes on and on.
[And Silicon Valley is only interested in fake boobs]
7. Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world and other large health planning centers.
[And we US federal funding is no longer available because of the afore mentioned illegal succession those centers will move out of Texas.]
8. We have enough colleges to keep us going: UT Texas, A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University, Ivy grows better in the south anyway
[Yale, Harvard, Stanford, UCLA, etc. I do not think it really matters to the US to not have to federally support a few extra schools.]
9. We have a ready supply of workers. (Just open the border when we need some)
[Actually for the past year many of those workers have been returning to their countries of origin because they cannot find work in the entirety of the US.]
10. We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.
[So the massive plants around the country that do those things as well will just speed up production and make more money]
11. We got plenty of wind up on the high plains.
[Chili will do that to you.]
12. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple Texas Rangers.
[Mean while the tanks and other shit will be rolling over every jackass who is trying his hardest to run away while carrying six guns and his pile of ammo.]
13. We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables and let's not forget seafood from the gulf. And everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food.
[Actually, while we do have a lot of those animals in a non-dinner plate state, many of them are sent out of state for slaughter. Good luck figuring out how to cut apart that cow properly.]
This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic Of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.
[How about federal funding to help keep up our airports, roadways, waterways, telecommunications, etc.]
Now to the rest of the United States under President Obama: Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only Mr. Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9 mile per gallon SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.
[Once again you are wrong. It is Al Gore. I hope you did not vote. You seem the type of person who would try and vote the Hamburgler into office.]
You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off your communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes but since Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas.
[GORE GORE GORE YOU FUCKING RETARDED MONKEY!!! And there is more than one way to receive your TV channels you idiot.]
Signed, The People in Texas
{My name should be left off.]
From The People of Texas
We Texans love y'all, but we'll have to take action since Obama won president over McCain. We'll miss you too. [I am not a big fan of Big O but do you not think this is a little drastic?]
Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get used to the results. After seeing the whiners along the campaign route, the folks from Texas are considering taking matters into our hands. [Right, because nothing is as All American and picking up your ball and going home]
Here is our solution:
#1: Elect Barak Obama President of the United States. (All 49 states.)
[There are 50 States. And succession is now illegal. Learn your history please.]
#2: T. Boone Pickens becomes the President of the Republic Of Texas.
[Because those who are in Big Oil's pockets have done great so far]
So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?
1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. (We will control the space industry.)
[Actually NASA has locations all over the US.]
2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.
[And because of that the US will just let us succeed without a fight.]
3. Defense Industry. (We have over 65% of it) The term "Don't mess with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning.
[Please tell me, after we leave the US, who is going to buy all of that stuff? Are you suggesting we sell to terrorists?]
4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.
["Yankee states" will just bring in more oil at different ports.}
5. Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern states. John Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm....
[Once again, I know you are in Texas, but we do have a public school system here. I believe the person you referencing would be Al Gore]
6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, Etc, Etc. The list goes on and on.
[And Silicon Valley is only interested in fake boobs]
7. Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world and other large health planning centers.
[And we US federal funding is no longer available because of the afore mentioned illegal succession those centers will move out of Texas.]
8. We have enough colleges to keep us going: UT Texas, A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University, Ivy grows better in the south anyway
[Yale, Harvard, Stanford, UCLA, etc. I do not think it really matters to the US to not have to federally support a few extra schools.]
9. We have a ready supply of workers. (Just open the border when we need some)
[Actually for the past year many of those workers have been returning to their countries of origin because they cannot find work in the entirety of the US.]
10. We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.
[So the massive plants around the country that do those things as well will just speed up production and make more money]
11. We got plenty of wind up on the high plains.
[Chili will do that to you.]
12. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple Texas Rangers.
[Mean while the tanks and other shit will be rolling over every jackass who is trying his hardest to run away while carrying six guns and his pile of ammo.]
13. We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables and let's not forget seafood from the gulf. And everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food.
[Actually, while we do have a lot of those animals in a non-dinner plate state, many of them are sent out of state for slaughter. Good luck figuring out how to cut apart that cow properly.]
This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic Of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.
[How about federal funding to help keep up our airports, roadways, waterways, telecommunications, etc.]
Now to the rest of the United States under President Obama: Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only Mr. Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9 mile per gallon SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.
[Once again you are wrong. It is Al Gore. I hope you did not vote. You seem the type of person who would try and vote the Hamburgler into office.]
You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off your communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes but since Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas.
[GORE GORE GORE YOU FUCKING RETARDED MONKEY!!! And there is more than one way to receive your TV channels you idiot.]
Signed, The People in Texas
{My name should be left off.]