Dead Brown Bunny Drabble Challenge
Disclaimer: This is an original work of fiction inspired by the Dead Brown Bunny Drabble Challenge set by H/T & B Thomas, who also graciously offered her time to beta this work and correct it. Any resemblance of any characters within to real persons is purely unintended. The website addresses named in this prose are not real, but are based on two existing websites in the name of parody only, and used with the sole intention of humourous effect. This work of fiction is purely for entertainment value and published free of charge, if you have purchased a copy of this then you have been duped. No bunnies were actually harmed in the name of accurate portrayal. All rights reserved.
Author: Van-El II
Email: Van_El_II@Yahoo.co.uk
Rating: PG (Parental Guidance)
Warnings: Character death, Black humour
Word Count: 716 (more short fic than drabble)
Summary: Poor college kids and stupidity do not mix well with domesticated rodents EVER. Especially when the internet is involved.
“Seth, explain to me again how exactly this happened?” Matt asked while looking at the now cooling bundle of brown fur that looked like it had been touching a Van de Graaff generator only moments ago. His tone, while calm, betrayed an air of displeasure and accusation. “I thought we agreed that we weren't actually going to kill the bunny?”
“It's not my fault! The little thing was probably hungry and it must have thought the cables were a different kind of hay...”
“I thought I told you to look after it. I was going to go out and find food and props for the next webcast video while you looked after the bunny and checked the Paypal account.”
“I had my hands full. The PETA people tried shutting the site down again. I can't update the website, check the money, deal with hackers and look after a bunny at the same time! Cottontail was kinda hard to watch running about like she does...” Seth hesitated. “...did.”
The website in question had been one of their stupid ideas born of an alcohol-induced insanity of the
type abundant in the student body after a long night of partying. Matt and Seth were constantly broke, and neither of them had any ideas for a making a quick buck to pay for their college needs until they had seen some animal rights activist group complaining about chemical testing on lab animals near the campus. That was when the idea of www.SaveCottontail.com was born.
The kids would look after a pet bunny, a domesticated carpet-safe and extremely cute animal, and would use emotional blackmail of a sort to sell merchandise. Buy our stuff or the bunny gets it! was the tag line.
Using a photo gallery of their new brown and fuzzy roommate, periodic video webcasts and the looming threat that if a financial target was not reached then the bunny would be the next dinner; they had successfully sold a line of T-shirts, posters, mugs and other assorted merchandise using CaféPress. They even had a steady stream of donations coming in (which they'd sent on to charity after covering web expenses). What had disturbed them however, was the number of people buying their Forty Rabbit Recipes cookbook.
Sure, they'd enraged quite a few people for daring to set this unique website up, but a college student needs to eat somehow! That and no one seemed to complain about that www.PetsOrDinner.net website.
They'd gone with the bunny because Matt's latest ex-girlfriend Alysson had broken up with him just before the semester break. She hadn't managed to collect
all her things and pack them in the back of her car, and seeing as she ended up going to another college three states away, Cottontail ended up becoming a permanent feature. This meant they didn't need to have a bunny brought in - they already knew this one and it knew them. It was the perfect way for the little bun-bun to pay her way for sharing the apartment.
“Well, why the hell was she under your desk anyways?”
“I'm guessing here - but she was kinda smart. Maybe she thought that if she took down the website there'd be no reason for us to y'know... eat her.” Seth reasoned in his usual 'grasping for straws' manner. “Come on - we talk to her about the website all the time!”
Matt scoffed. “Well, obviously she wasn't that smart after all.”
"Well, you seem to always have a way out of trouble when you pray and stuff - what would Jesus do?"
"What? Do I look like I can pull a Lazarus on little Cottontail here?" Matt grimaced as he looked at the dead browned bunny. “She's kinda too crispy-fried for any hope of resurrection. I think we're going to need a new bunny.”
Seth had finished replacing the power leads and booted up the machine. Turning to face Matt again, he suggested, “Well, I could go get another bunny from the Humane Society shelter across town after class tomorrow. That's enough time before the next webcast right?”
Matt rubbed his chin, deep in thought, “Okay, that'd work if we get one that looks like her. But what do we do with Cottontail the First?”
“We sell a cookbook, don't we?”
Current Mood: creative Listening to: Duvet (Acoustic Version) - bôa 1.2Mb 5:13
Author: Van-El II
Email: Van_El_II@Yahoo.co.uk
Rating: PG (Parental Guidance)
Warnings: Character death, Black humour
Word Count: 716 (more short fic than drabble)
Summary: Poor college kids and stupidity do not mix well with domesticated rodents EVER. Especially when the internet is involved.
“Seth, explain to me again how exactly this happened?” Matt asked while looking at the now cooling bundle of brown fur that looked like it had been touching a Van de Graaff generator only moments ago. His tone, while calm, betrayed an air of displeasure and accusation. “I thought we agreed that we weren't actually going to kill the bunny?”
“It's not my fault! The little thing was probably hungry and it must have thought the cables were a different kind of hay...”
“I thought I told you to look after it. I was going to go out and find food and props for the next webcast video while you looked after the bunny and checked the Paypal account.”
“I had my hands full. The PETA people tried shutting the site down again. I can't update the website, check the money, deal with hackers and look after a bunny at the same time! Cottontail was kinda hard to watch running about like she does...” Seth hesitated. “...did.”
The website in question had been one of their stupid ideas born of an alcohol-induced insanity of the
type abundant in the student body after a long night of partying. Matt and Seth were constantly broke, and neither of them had any ideas for a making a quick buck to pay for their college needs until they had seen some animal rights activist group complaining about chemical testing on lab animals near the campus. That was when the idea of www.SaveCottontail.com was born.
The kids would look after a pet bunny, a domesticated carpet-safe and extremely cute animal, and would use emotional blackmail of a sort to sell merchandise. Buy our stuff or the bunny gets it! was the tag line.
Using a photo gallery of their new brown and fuzzy roommate, periodic video webcasts and the looming threat that if a financial target was not reached then the bunny would be the next dinner; they had successfully sold a line of T-shirts, posters, mugs and other assorted merchandise using CaféPress. They even had a steady stream of donations coming in (which they'd sent on to charity after covering web expenses). What had disturbed them however, was the number of people buying their Forty Rabbit Recipes cookbook.
Sure, they'd enraged quite a few people for daring to set this unique website up, but a college student needs to eat somehow! That and no one seemed to complain about that www.PetsOrDinner.net website.
They'd gone with the bunny because Matt's latest ex-girlfriend Alysson had broken up with him just before the semester break. She hadn't managed to collect
all her things and pack them in the back of her car, and seeing as she ended up going to another college three states away, Cottontail ended up becoming a permanent feature. This meant they didn't need to have a bunny brought in - they already knew this one and it knew them. It was the perfect way for the little bun-bun to pay her way for sharing the apartment.
“Well, why the hell was she under your desk anyways?”
“I'm guessing here - but she was kinda smart. Maybe she thought that if she took down the website there'd be no reason for us to y'know... eat her.” Seth reasoned in his usual 'grasping for straws' manner. “Come on - we talk to her about the website all the time!”
Matt scoffed. “Well, obviously she wasn't that smart after all.”
"Well, you seem to always have a way out of trouble when you pray and stuff - what would Jesus do?"
"What? Do I look like I can pull a Lazarus on little Cottontail here?" Matt grimaced as he looked at the dead browned bunny. “She's kinda too crispy-fried for any hope of resurrection. I think we're going to need a new bunny.”
Seth had finished replacing the power leads and booted up the machine. Turning to face Matt again, he suggested, “Well, I could go get another bunny from the Humane Society shelter across town after class tomorrow. That's enough time before the next webcast right?”
Matt rubbed his chin, deep in thought, “Okay, that'd work if we get one that looks like her. But what do we do with Cottontail the First?”
“We sell a cookbook, don't we?”
Current Mood: creative Listening to: Duvet (Acoustic Version) - bôa 1.2Mb 5:13