Title: Baby I'm Yours
Paring: Kenbin
Rating: NC 17
Warning: Death, Suicide
Summary: He couldn't cope
Wow this was so large I had to split it in half...wild
“Yeah Jaehwan… You are off of work now right? Hurry over! We have to clean up before the party.” Hongbin smiled at his boyfriend’s cheery voice in the phone. “I love you too, now drive safely ok? I will see you soon.” He laughed again at his boyfriend making kissy noises into the phone and make one back before hanging up.
He laughed and ran a hand through his hair, that was always so embarrassing. He walked around his apartment and started to pick up, hoping to get a large portion of it done before Jaehwan got back because he knew how much he hated to clean. However, after a few hours he frowned, noticing that Jaehwan wasn’t back yet, and he only worked a few miles away so he really should have been here by now. He grabbed his phone, trying to take deep breaths and come up with a million excuses in his mind that didn’t involve his boyfriend being mugged. He bit his lip when it went straight to voicemail, that was weird Jaehwan shouldn’t have turned off his phone. He started to dial Hakyeon’s number, their long term friend because he was probably just with him and lost track of time, god knows how often that happened but another unknown number started to call him instead. He quickly picked up, his heart beating rapidly.
“H-hello?”
“Hello, is this Hongbin?”
“Y-Yes, who is this?”
“I am sorry to inform you but your boyfriend was involved in a car accident, a large car hit the driver’s side while running a red light.”
Hongbin didn’t even notice he had collapsed to the floor until his sight came back to him, albeit blurry, “Wh-what? J-Jaehwan?”
He listened to man over the phone tell him what hospital Jaehwan was at but that was all he heard, not interested in listening to anything else he ran out of the door without his phone. He could barely unlock his car because of his trembling hands, all he could imagine was his Jaehwan broken and bleeding at some hospital hanging on for dear life and he wasn’t there. He dropped the keys, cursing loudly even after he opened the door and got in. He drove way to fast but he couldn’t be bothered with following traffic laws when his heart pounded in his ears and his hands shook. He pulled into two parking spots and fell out of his car, stumbling into the hospital and running right up to the front desk.
“Where is Jaehwan?!”
The nurse sighed, “Sir you have to calm dow-”
“Jaehwan! Where in the fuck is Jaehwan?!”
“Hongbin?”
Hongbin turned to see Hakyeon, it looked like he has been crying, his eyes extremely puff and his boyfriend was rubbing circles into his back, looking very tired.
Hongbin ran to Hakyeon, grabbing his arms, looking extremely frantic, “Hakyeon, where is Jaehwan? Is he ok? What is going on? Oh god Hakyeon please tell me he is ok!”
Hakyeon bit his bottom lip, searching for his tall boyfriend’s hand and Hongbin couldn’t care for formalities right then, he was at least younger than him right? “He-He..he is in surgery right now Hongbin...They...They said it was- it was really bad.”
Hongbin’s legs felt numb while following Hakyeon to the area Jaehwan was and immediately started pacing in the harsh white light of the hallway.
“You should try to relax Hongbin, you can’t go into a panic attack.”
“My boyfriend is in there, probably dying Sanghyuk and you want me to relax?!”
Hakyeon took his boyfriend’s hand, hiding his face into his chest and sobbing and Sanghyuk bit his lip, that was a kind of stupid thing to say.
It was about an hour or so before a doctor walked out, dressed all in blue with solemn expression, “You guys are here about Jaehwan right?”
Hongbin spoke first, “Yes, is he alright? He is going to be ok right?”
The woman sighed, looking down, “I’m so sorry...Jaehwan didn’t make it. He suffered too many injuries and his brain was badly damaged in the crash. I’m sorry but there was nothing we could do.”
Hongbin slowly fell to the floor, he couldn’t hear anyone, he couldn’t think and he didn’t even realize he was speaking. “You didn’t try hard enough! The love of my life is dead because of you!”
Hakyeon quickly stood up and grabbed Hongbin but he couldn’t hold onto him, too weak from shock so Sanghyuk grabbed him before he could grab the doctor.
“Jaehwan! Jaehwan I’m sorry! I love you please Jaehwan! Don’t do this I need you! Come back!”
Hakyeon looked at the doctor, wanting to thank her but the words got caught in his throat so he could only nod, slowly following Sanghyuk as he dragged Hongbin out of the hospital, kicking and screaming.
Sanghyuk sat Hongbin down in his and Hakyeon’s apartment, there was no way he was letting Hongbin or Hakyeon out of his sight. Hongbin looked down, murmuring to himself that this wasn’t real, that this was a dream. He ignored the tea cup that Sanghyuk placed in front of him. Hakyeon had collapsed in a chair, covering his tear streaked face but smiled weakly and accepted the mug handed to him.
“Hongbin.. I-” Sanghyuk started, he had to do something, he had to be strong but Jaehwan was his friend too.
“Don’t.”
Hakyeon swallowed hard, “Hongbin, we have to talk about this.”
Hongbin shook his head, it would make it real if they ‘talked about it’ “No, just...just leave me alone.”
Hakyeon frowned at Sanghyuk who only shook his head, grabbing Hakyeon’s hand, “We all need sleep, we can talk in the morning.”
Hongbin left before Hakyeon and Sanghyuk could even wake up, he had an idea. He ran into his work, ignoring a few coworkers in favor of locking himself up in his lab; he didn’t answer phone calls, text messages, and didn’t listen to voicemails for days. His childhood friend Taekwoon even called him but he ignored that just like the others, ignoring his pain and pouring it into his ‘work’. He was starting to give up the second week into this project, punching the table a few times before collapsing into his work chair, tears streaming down his already stained cheeks as he sobbed.
“I’m so sorry Jaehwan...I’m so sorry.”
“Please input your password.”
Hongbin jumped, looking up to see Jaehwan, well it wasn’t him but it looked exactly like him, “Oh god Jaehwan.”
“Would you like that to be your password?”
Hongbin flinched, hating the harsh digital voice coming from Jaehwan’s pretty lips, “No, no. Let’s get you programed.”
He walked over and caressed Jaehwan’s cheek, it felt warm, frowning at the bright blue nearly white robotic eyes staring back at him, he would have to fix that. He gently plugged a thick cord into the back of Jaehwan’s neck, typing onto the computer it was attached to and uploading memories, voice, and anything about Jaehwan he had stored. It took almost an entire day but the beeping and the filled green bar woke Hongbin up from his nap at his desk. He quickly walked over and unplugged the cord, chewing on his bottom lip and touching his shoulder nervously. He was suddenly met with big brown eyes and a bright smile.
“Hi Binnie.”
Hongbin’s heart clenched and he couldn’t stop crying while clutching Jaehwan’s chest, “I love you so much, I won’t ever let you go.”
Jaehwan laughed softly, it was just as Hongbin remembered, “Why are you crying silly? I’m right here.”
Hongbin was going to let himself believe that.
He brought Jaehwan back to their apartment, he acted exactly the same so he was able to really believe that he had Jaehwan back and he couldn’t stop smiling. Jaehwan danced around their apartment, singing his dumb songs and it was like Hongbin’s world was complete again. He pulled Jaehwan against his chest, sitting on the couch and kissing his head repeatedly and whispering soft nothings. Jaehwan hummed, he always loved cuddling and snuggled closer, playing with Hongbin’s fingers. Hongbin didn’t even hear the front door open but he did hear the loud gasp. He turned to see Hakyeon and Taekwoon standing there, eyes wide.
“Hong-Hongbin..what have you done?!” Hakyeon could barely speak.
“Don’t freak out! He is exactly the same!” Hongbin slowly stood up and Jaehwan cocked his head to the side in confusion.
“The same? Did I change?”
Taekwoon spoke up because it was obvious Hakyeon couldn’t anymore, “Hongbin you, you can’t just do that. It is illegal and… and you can’t bring him back.”
Taekwoon’s words hurt worse than any blow to the gut could, “You don’t understand! I need him!”
“We were all his friends Hongbin!” Hakyeon covered his mouth not being able to look at the robot on the couch.
“Well I love him Hakyeon! My fucking boyfriend isn’t fine. You have no idea what I’m going through.”
Taekwoon frowned, “Hongbin!”
“Get out!”
Taekwoon reached out but his hand was hit away, “I said get out!”
Taekwoon huffed and grabbed Hakyeon’s arm, pulling him out the door, “We will be back.”
Hongbin stood there for a few moments, breathing heavily until a soft voice brought him out of his thoughts.
“Is...Is Hakyeon mad at me?”
Hongbin looked at that sad face and his heart broke, “Shh no baby he isn’t. Don’t- Don’t worry ok.” He fell back to the couch and cupped Jaehwan’s face, “Everything is ok. I’m right here.”
Jaehwan nodded, still looking sad so Hongbin kissed him deeply.
He continued to ignore his friends, now more than ever because why couldn’t they be happy for him? He found a way to continue living. Sure, a few malfunctions reminded him that this, in fact, wasn’t Jaehwan but it was better than nothing. That is, until someone pounded on Hongbin’s door. He quickly stood up, eyes widening as a group of cops broke down his door and rushed in. He pushed Jaehwan behind him, fear gripping his heart.
“No, no please no.”
Hongbin gasped when he was grabbed roughly and pulled aside, being held much too tightly as another man grabbed Jaehwan. “No! Please let me go, I’m not hurting anyone!”
Jaehwan looked scared, trying to pull out of the man’s grip but he just dragged him along, “Hongbin? Hongbin what is going on!?”
Hongbin pushed at the guy again, forcing another to help hold him back, “I need him! Please no not again, don’t take him away from me!”
Hongbin didn’t even notice a man in a suit walking up, glaring at him and saying something about him creating an illegal robot with stolen government money. He tries to catch a glimpse of Jaehwan as he is pushed through the door but the man is grabbing Hongbin’s chin roughly.
“Listen here kid, you are lucky you are good at your job. Fuck up like this again, and you will wish we just fired you.”
Hongbin couldn’t really see the man through tears and he was finally freed where he crumpled to the ground. He curled his legs up to him, sobbing openly as the door was slammed shut. Hongbin sat in that very spot for hours, slowly rocking himself back and forth until he crawls over to a small end table, grabbing the helmet there and pulled it down over his face, tears streaming faster now that he only sees Jaehwan bathed in the bright sun while running ahead of him, looking back and smiling happily.
“Hurry up Binnie! The line will be so long~”
He brings a trembling hand up to press some buttons on the side, having to press a few times because he either couldn’t press hard enough or he presses the wrong button. He covers his mouth; Jaehwan was reading in the moonlight and can hear himself.
“You shouldn’t have waited Jaehwan...I told you to go to sleep.”
Jaehwan smiles, yawning and cuddling close when he sits on the couch, “I missed you..”
“I love you so much.”
Jaehwan smiles so brightly, reaching up to touch Hongbin’s cheek, “I love you too, more than anything.”
Hongbin rips it off his head, throwing it against the wall because he couldn’t feel Jaehwan’s soft fingertips on his skin, now matter how many times he remembered. He brought his knees to his chest, crying but there is a knock. He glares when he hears Hakyeon's voice then Taekwoon’s yelling something, he must have locked the door but he doesn’t remember when nor does he care. He ignores them and stands up to stumble across the living room, opening a drawer to pull out the shining silver colt and ran his trembling hand slowly over the wood handle. He no longer heard Hakyeon or the loud banging but instead slowly walked to his and Jaehwan’s room, stumbling against the wall until he finally fell into the plush carpet. The colt still in his hand as he stared at nothing.
He gasped when Jaehwan slowly joined him on the floor, taking Hongbin’s hand in his own to run his lips against his fingers.
“J-Jaehwan?”
“Shhh, it is ok.” Jaehwan’s soft lips ghosted over his fingers with each word.
“I-I love you, I need you so badly...Jaehwan it hurts.” Hongbin’s voice was thick with tears.
“Shh, I know. I love you too.” Hongbin choked on the lump in his throat from Jaehwan’s soft smile, nuzzling his face into Hongbin’s hand.
“You will be with me soon right Binnie? I really miss you.”
Hongbin followed Jaehwan’s gaze to the colt he was holding against his chest then he looked back into his shining brown eyes. “Yes... yes and I promise I will never leave you again.”
Jaehwan smiled, his eyes crinkling then slowly moving forward to kiss him, but his lips were cold and hard. Hongbin closed his eyes, tears streaming out but it didn’t matter that Jaehwan’s tongue was cold and hard as steel nor that it wasn’t moving. A distinct click was drowned out by his own thumping heart and he didn’t even hear the deafening sound that followed.
Hakyeon screamed when he heard the loud crack, hoping to god that wasn’t what he thought and began hitting Taekwoon who shoved him away and rammed his shoulder into the door a few times before it broke down. He chased after Hakyeon who was hysterically yelling for Hongbin. Taekwoon couldn’t grab him before Hakyeon ran back into the room, but his scream would be something that would haunt him for a life time. He ran into the room and grabbed Hakyeon, hiding his trembling and sobbing body against his chest, swallowing hard at Hongbin.
“It is my fault! I pushed him a-away. O-Oh god. Hongbin! Hongbin!”
Taekwoon hugged Hakyeon tighter, trying to calm him down because this wasn’t his fault but he couldn’t really find it in him to calm his panic attack when he himself was freaking out. Taekwoon swallowed, not being able to look away, a few tears fell despite his efforts,
“I’m so sorry Hongbin…”
Well this is it! I realized I never wrote a song dedicated to error so I did! It turned out a lot sadder than I thought it would haha. Oh well~