An RL conversation
Him (smiling and pulling out a golf club): Now, let me get ready, in case I don't like the ansawer I'm about to get.
Me: Well, first off, I'd honestly thought you'd know better than to try to use a nice raquet like that in close quarters.
Other: That's not a raquet, it's a club.
Me: In my defense, I play Calvinball.
Other (nods): ok.
ME: Now, I have to point out that while we are always happy to ensure delivery, and work with you in the interim, I am unable to make any changes to the S.O.P.
Him (putting club in corner): Did you just call me an S.O.B. ?
Me (nodding politely): Sir - Always to your face, and never on the clock.
Enlightenment and smiles all around. I held my own today :)