(no subject)
A lot of things have changed. I went from being on the top of the game to the bench. There are so many stories i could tell from the past few months, so many things i've experienced and things i've learned. I could tell so much about how low people here can be. I've never been stupid enough to think these people were my friends, these kids, these drug addicts, but I didn't think it'd sink as low as it has. But I'm just recently starting to let that go, remember that I'm better than that, than going to jail over stabbing a kid over $40. From now on I'll resort back to hippie ways of life. Smoke for peace, not for destruction. The people, my "peers" don't know yet. They just don't know what life will be like, they don't know how bad they're fucking up and they sure as hell don't care. I'm tired of being grouped with them. Change it up, keep it positive, forget about the ones that never mattered anyway. I've realized I don't like the person I'd be described as. This is how a person would look at me.
near High school drop out, pot head, binge drinking, sexually overactive teenager, who doesn't care about anything other than money and drugs, has no goals and is going nowhere in life.
I'm so much better than that, i just got "caught up". I'm glad I got it out of the way now though, I'd rather be a complete fuck up while i'm 16 and be surprisingly successful in my early 20's. I'm sure as hell gonna make something of myself, I'm just in a transition, but it's finishing up.
Hopefully they do send me away, hopefully I'll get a job and this new clothing store I love and finally go on some auditions. Maybe.
And just for the record, it's not the drugs that destroyed all these things, it was the lifestyle. I made myself into that kid behind the liquor store. that was my own fault. But also for the record, I don't regret one day or one thing I did in this time. I needed to go through it all to move on, and I'm glad I'm trying to move on sooner than later.
I think this calls for a new journal.
higher-peace