(no subject)
oh dear christ i am so fucking overwhelmed right now.
I haven't journaled in awhile, and I think I should because I am going to fucking explode. I am sitting here at 11 PM staring at a messy ass apartment and a stack of grading so large that I don't know where to start. I am failing miserably at work and I am probably going to be let go at the end of the school year, and the most I can do is step up the amount of time I spend dealing with stuff from work and I have a grad class looming ahead of me.
I am not being an effective teacher and it is killing me. I don't want to lose another job. I cannot afford a failure here, and I am going to explode.
I have no idea if I even have the capability in me to be able to pull off this miracle of miracles that is saving my job...but if I don't I AM SCREWED. I don't want to be let go. I really really don't, and I can't dedicate any more time to this. I just don't have the fucking energy. I don't think this fight is worth fighting.
God help me...please.
I just want to fucking throw things right now.
Why in the hell am I my own worst enemy?
I haven't journaled in awhile, and I think I should because I am going to fucking explode. I am sitting here at 11 PM staring at a messy ass apartment and a stack of grading so large that I don't know where to start. I am failing miserably at work and I am probably going to be let go at the end of the school year, and the most I can do is step up the amount of time I spend dealing with stuff from work and I have a grad class looming ahead of me.
I am not being an effective teacher and it is killing me. I don't want to lose another job. I cannot afford a failure here, and I am going to explode.
I have no idea if I even have the capability in me to be able to pull off this miracle of miracles that is saving my job...but if I don't I AM SCREWED. I don't want to be let go. I really really don't, and I can't dedicate any more time to this. I just don't have the fucking energy. I don't think this fight is worth fighting.
God help me...please.
I just want to fucking throw things right now.
Why in the hell am I my own worst enemy?