The world is black and hearts are cold....
I've been cutting for just about a year... people are saying i cant controll it and are getting all worried... why am i saying people its just one person... just one person who cares... one person who i am basicaly driving to insanity... one person telling me to hold on and that it will get better if i get help... one person holding me on to this life.... and i think that this one perspn is staring to let go... so what now?... do i fall to my death?... do i try to hold on?.. if i hold on what am i holding on to?... a life that doesnt mean shit anymore.... people who dont care.... people who think i'm crazy... friends i dont have... loved ones who dont know me anymore.... theres nothing to hold on to... maybe its time i slip into the darkness....
this one person tends to think i need help....well what if i cant get help?... what do i do if the only people who can get help will get mad at the fact that i'm doing this to my self... then what do i do?.... who is here that i can ask for help with out them lashing out at me or just not careing?... i do need help i admit that... but i cant ask them for help... they will only turn away from me... and if they dont i will never have there trust again.... they will put cameras up in my room... have me homeschooled... basicaly confin me to my room... never let me see daylight again... i dont want to have to live that life...
This one person tends to think that sence she stoped cutting that everyone around her sould too... well its not as easy for them as it was for her... she deosnt have a reason to cut... i do... she doesnt see whats its like to be me... she doesnt know what i have to go threw every day... i try and tell her this but she just doesnt listen... she listens but just deasnt understand... i really dont care anymore... the world could burst into flames and i wouldnt care i would jump into the fire and start to laugh... i would laugh because my life is and was meainingless.. i'd laugh becusae of how every one would be screamimg "i dont want to die!! i dont want to die!! god why me?"... well it isnt there choice... you must take what comes to you and you cant change it you cant move it out of the way... thats just how life is... no delete button... no extra men... no do-overs... you just have to deal with the shit life gives you and move on with it
Broken Heart
this one person tends to think i need help....well what if i cant get help?... what do i do if the only people who can get help will get mad at the fact that i'm doing this to my self... then what do i do?.... who is here that i can ask for help with out them lashing out at me or just not careing?... i do need help i admit that... but i cant ask them for help... they will only turn away from me... and if they dont i will never have there trust again.... they will put cameras up in my room... have me homeschooled... basicaly confin me to my room... never let me see daylight again... i dont want to have to live that life...
This one person tends to think that sence she stoped cutting that everyone around her sould too... well its not as easy for them as it was for her... she deosnt have a reason to cut... i do... she doesnt see whats its like to be me... she doesnt know what i have to go threw every day... i try and tell her this but she just doesnt listen... she listens but just deasnt understand... i really dont care anymore... the world could burst into flames and i wouldnt care i would jump into the fire and start to laugh... i would laugh because my life is and was meainingless.. i'd laugh becusae of how every one would be screamimg "i dont want to die!! i dont want to die!! god why me?"... well it isnt there choice... you must take what comes to you and you cant change it you cant move it out of the way... thats just how life is... no delete button... no extra men... no do-overs... you just have to deal with the shit life gives you and move on with it
Broken Heart