Hmm It almost does sound like my house, HEHE
Your home is a Spawn-camping Wizard's Stronghold
Your kitchen is manned by a team of Keebler Drow Elves. There's a pantry with emergency backup caffeinated beverages. You also have some breakfast cereals in there, but you haven't had breakfast since last Spring. Your master bedroom is decorated to look like the treetop village of the Galadhrim. Your study has every fantasy novel ever written, including multiple editions of the Silmarillion and advance copies of Dungeons and Dragons Fifth Edition. One of your garages houses your Hummer, and others contain your H2, and H3... with room for an H4, if they ever invent one.
Your home also includes a roost for griffons. You've never actually seen a griffon, but you keep the roost ready anyway. Your guests enjoy your home theater with hi-def plasma screen TV, and the thrones you watch it from. Outside is the moat that protects your home from goblin invaders and extended family.
And, you have a pet -- a unicorn named "Shadowhooves".
Below is a snippet of the blueprints:
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