Save Me (Part 1)
Title: Save Me
Author: VampireMadonna
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: PG-13
Length: Undetermined
Summary: Kim Jaejoong is on the run from his crazed ex-husband and Lieutenant Jung Yunho is the only one standing between him and an uncertain fate. Will Yunho be his savior...or will his rescue come too late?
“I’d like to report a murder: my own.”
Yunho looked up from where he sat at his desk to the source of the bold announcement. His eyes were one pair of many that sought and became glued to the striking figure standing just inside the squad room. Silence reigned throughout the previously noisy den.
He was beautiful.
If Yunho had to pick a word to describe the man, that was the adjective that suited him best. He was simply beautiful. But that beautiful face currently wore a defiant expression and that, in conjunction with what he’d said, caught Yunho’s attention. He made a cursory glance around the room, noting the stunned expressions on his fellow cops’ faces, and decided that he would have to deal with their guest.
Since the Captain’s out, he thought as he rose, I’m in charge anyway.
As he approached the man, he noticed a little girl clinging to his hand, her body half-shielded behind his. She couldn’t have been more than seven by his estimation.
“I’m Lieutenant Jung Yunho. How may I help you?” he asked politely as he came to a stop a foot in front of the man.
Wide, dark eyes gazed back at him, so big and deep that he felt as if a gravitational force was pulling him into their bottomless depths. Between those eyes was a broad, aristocratic nose and beneath that were the reddest, most kissable pair of lips he’d ever set eyes on.
“Yes, I’d like to make a report.”
The voice, when it came, was low but not deep. There was something rather airy about it.
Yunho glanced over his shoulder and, noting the captivated stares aimed at the man before him, turned back to the stranger, saying, “Will you follow me this way, please?”
The only way to return normalcy to the squad room was to get him out of their sight.
Yunho led the way to Interview Room B. He opened the door and gestured for the man to sit, then remembered the little girl. Whatever they were going to talk about, she probably shouldn’t hear it.
“Officer Choi: a moment, please,” he called from the doorway.
When a young female officer appeared, he gestured to the little girl. “Can you take her next door, please?”
At his words, the little girl recoiled, sinking deeper into her father. His hand slid around her waist, holding her just as closely, his eyes daring Yunho to take her away from him.
“It would be better if she isn’t present while we do this. I’m sure you’d agree,” Yunho added pointedly.
Those big dark eyes stared at him unblinkingly for a full minute longer before he finally loosened his hold on the girl. Smiling into her face, he said gently, in English, “Go with the nice lady. I’ll be right here.” He kissed her cheek and released her.
When Officer Choi led the girl out of the room, Yunho closed the door and took a seat opposite the man at the table. He had forgotten to bring a paper pad and pen for notes but, luckily, someone had left one behind so he slid it in front of him and looked into those bottomless eyes expectantly.
“I know you’re probably curious about that dramatic statement I made but it was the only way I could think of to get your attention,” he began.
Yunho picked up the pen. “Name?”
His tongue snaked out to moisten those cherry red rips, leaving a glossy finish behind. “Jaejoong Ste…” He broke off, shook his head as if to clear it. “Kim Jaejoong.”
Yunho arched a brow but said nothing. “And you said you would like to report a murder?”
Jaejoong smiled slightly. “Well, obviously I can’t since I’m not dead. Yet, anyway. But that’s why I’m here. I want to do everything I can to prevent that.”
“Who’s trying to kill you?”
“My husband. Ex-husband,” he clarified.
Jaejoong met Yunho’s eyes directly, the expression in them fierce, as if daring Yunho to judge him or his lifestyle.
Yunho paused as he absorbed the delicacy of the situation. “Can you give me some background?”
Jaejoong nodded. “This isn’t the first time I’ve sought help from the police but it may very well be the last. I imagine that what you’re thinking now is what they all thought when I told them who I was running from.”
Yunho said nothing, only continued to watch him silently.
“We met here, in Korea, at university. He, Daniel, is from Sweden but he did his degree here. He was fascinated with the culture, he said. Then we met and became fascinated with each other. I’ll spare you the details but we were in love, deliriously so, and on the day we graduated he asked me to marry him and I said yes. I loved him, enough to leave behind everything and everyone I knew and loved and start a new life with him in his homeland.”
Yunho stood, went to the cooler in the corner and got two paper cups of water, setting one down in from of Jaejoong.
Jaejoong picked up the cup and took a sip before continuing.
“Everything was great at first. Perfect, I guess you could say. We were both lucky enough to get great jobs when we moved there. We had a nice little house in a quiet suburb, a wedding gift from Daniel’s parents. The perfect job, perfect house, perfect husband: it was all very ideal. I couldn’t ask for more. After our second anniversary, we started talking about children and looking at avenues we might want to consider, trying to figure out which was best for us. In the end, we decided on adoption as opposed to surrogacy. We were fortunate enough to find a little girl, not yet a year old, who was of Korean/Swedish descent. We couldn’t believe our luck: a mix of the two of us? It was like a sign from the heavens. Like fate. And so we adopted her, our Maya. It couldn’t have been more perfect. We were complete now, a family.
Since she was still so young, we decided that one of us should quit our job to stay home and take care of her. Daniel was making more money, and since he’s Swedish we assumed he’d have better job security, so it seemed like the obvious choice for me to do it. I didn’t mind. I’d fallen in love with her on first sight. Everything was good for a while, another couple of years, then things started to change little by little. He started having these mood swings and he’d come home with a really nasty temper. Eventually, he started acting really suspicious of me, asking what I was doing all day, where I went, who I talked to. He accused me of cheating, which I wasn’t. The thought never even crossed my mind. I loved him… I would never betray him like that, would never jeopardize our family. It would escalate into these screaming matches until I had enough and I’d take Maya next door to the neighbour, who was my best friend there. Eventually, he would calm down and come over, say he was sorry and beg me to come home, which I would. Then things would be fine for a few days, a week, before it started all over again.
I began to suspect that maybe he was bipolar, or worse: schizophrenic. I’d done some psychology electives in university and knew the signs. I wanted him to get screened and diagnosed but he refused. Medication would’ve helped him manage the symptoms. It’s not untreatable. If he’d just listened to me…”
The eyes were steady, Yunho noted. Voice too. He spoke in a very even, matter-of-fact way, as if he was scrolling through his memory bank and listing all the pertinent information that came up. The only giveaway, the only outward sign that he was distressed or emotional, were his fingers. Every so often, the pinkies would beat a rapid tattoo against the cup he held between his hands.
“The situation kept escalating, his behaviour became more violent. Shouting wasn’t enough anymore. He would use his size to intimidate me. I’m only 5’9, he was about 6’2. I don’t intimidate very easily but it’s difficult when the person you love has waves of anger rolling off of him while he’s backing you into a wall. And putting his fist into said wall. I threatened to leave then, if he didn’t get help. I took Maya next door and stayed there for three days before he finally agreed to get help. Once he was diagnosed, with the meds and counseling, things settled down again and I thought our lives were getting back on track. Maya started preschool and we were happy again, excited and sad that she was growing up so fast. But it didn’t last long. Unbeknownst to me, he started skipping his doses until he wasn’t taking any at all. He didn’t feel like he needed them anymore. He thought he had a handle on the disease but it doesn’t work that way. Nothing I said would change his mind. I slipped it into his food when I could. Drugging someone is illegal but I felt like I had no other option. However, he hadn’t started acting out again, he seemed like himself, so I let it go, let myself believe that maybe he was right. There are always exceptions to the rule, right? I should’ve known better. I did know better but I loved him.”
He paused, took a sip of water, then stared down at the cup in his hands.
“It wasn’t long before I started seeing the signs again. The fits of rage, the moodiness. One minute he’d be fine, he’d be himself, and the next he’d be threatening to kill me if he found out I was cheating on him. I screamed at him that I wasn’t, that he needed to trust me, needed to take his meds so he could stop being so paranoid. He told me he was finally seeing things clearly. We got into a bit of a shoving match and he slapped me. That was the last straw. I couldn’t take it anymore. The next day, when he came home from work, I’d packed his stuff. I told him to leave. I said that if he didn’t, I would and I would take Maya with me. She’s more mine than she ever was his. I never wanted to take her away from him but… He didn’t give me much of a choice.
Thankfully, he left. He had enough control of his mental faculties to see that I was serious. He moved in with his parents and they promised me they would get him help, get him into counseling and back on his meds. I still loved him enough to want to save my marriage so I believed them. Months passed without a word from him. His mother would call to check on Maya and tell me he was progressing nicely and should be able to return home to us soon. I was hopeful. Maybe things were finally going to get back on track. Then one day I was coming home from the supermarket and I noticed someone following me. I couldn’t see who it was, I just felt like someone was watching and I was being shadowed. I was glad Maya wasn’t with me. I went back to the house, locked up tight, thinking I was safe. I went into the kitchen to put away the groceries, turned around and there he was. The minute I looked into his eyes, saw how wild they were, I knew he wasn’t on his meds and hadn’t been for a long time. Later I found out that he’d resisted his parents’ attempts to get him into a center to deal with the disease and since he wouldn’t even take the medication, they’d kicked him out, unable to deal with him. His mother lied to me in our phone conversations because she thought that I would cut her out of Maya’s life if I knew the truth.
I tried to talk to him calmly while my mind worked a mile a minute trying to find a safe way out and away from him. He didn’t give me the chance, though. He lunged at me, taking me to the ground as he grabbed me by the neck and started choking me. I struggled, kicked and scratched him, but it only infuriated him more. He got so angry that he punched me. He hit me so hard that I blacked out for a minute or so. When I came to, he was still on top of me. I could hear him muttering, saying he would kill me before he let me be with someone else. He called me a whore, among other things. I could barely hear him above the pounding in my head. My face was numb too. I’d never experienced pain like that before. I hope I never do again.
I needed to get away from him but couldn’t think of anything. I couldn’t really concentrate, didn’t have the strength. Instead, I tried to calm him down. I told him that I was sorry and I loved and missed him, that Maya and I wanted to be a family again. He started to cry and he kissed me. He said that he loved me and he didn’t want to hurt me but I needed to be taught a lesson. I told him I knew I was wrong and I would never betray him again. The more I talked to him, the more he seemed to settle. He stopped crying and his eyes cleared up. I felt hopeful. I asked him if he could help me up, and he did, then I told him my face hurt and asked for some ice from the freezer. The minute he turned his back, I ran. I ran like my life depended on it, even though I knew, somewhere in the back of my mind, that he wouldn’t follow me. Once I was outside, I managed to make it to my neighbour’s lawn before I collapsed and passed out again.
When I woke up, I was in the hospital. The police were there. They took my statement, there was an APB out for Daniel as he had taken off as soon as I ran out. They found him the next day. He was deemed mentally incompetent and sent to an institution. I filed for divorce. The house was in his name and I had very little money of my own but his parents, who were his legal guardians, gave me the house and a nice chunk of change. To assuage their guilt, I assumed. And for my troubles…” He smiled bitterly. “Does a broken nose and cracked cheekbone count as ‘troubles’?”
Shrugging, he continued. “If I’d been on my own, I would’ve probably thrown it in their faces but I had Maya to think about so I took it. I sold the house, though, and moved to a small town. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going. For Maya’s sake, I kept in touch with Daniel’s parents but I always called from a pay phone. I never told them where we were and they had the decency not to ask.
I got a job and Maya and I settled in. We had a small apartment and my job didn’t pay much. I didn’t need the money, of course, I simply wanted to draw as little attention as possible and I needed to bring some normalcy back into Maya’s life. Months passed without a word from anyone from our old life. I was almost able to forget that we even had one. And then, I started getting that feeling of being watched again. I told myself I was just being paranoid, Daniel was locked up, but then a few days later I got a call from the detective who had worked my case. He was the only one who knew my number, just in case. Somehow, Daniel got out, he said. He didn’t think he’d be able to find me. I told him he was wrong about that: Daniel was already there. I hadn’t seen him yet but I knew it in my bones. He’d found us. The detective promised to alert the sheriff’s department of the town I lived in and fill them in on everything that had happened. I was grateful for that, at least, but my gratitude was short lived. It never occurred to me what the people of the town thought about me. I hadn’t even given dating a second thought so I guess everyone thought I was straight, especially since I had a little girl and since she was half Korean, she did bear at least a slight ethnic resemblance, but once word hit the Sheriff’s office about what happened in my old town, it spread like wildfire. Not only was I running from a psycho ex-husband but I was also the resident fag now.
The Chief made it clear to me, in no uncertain terms, that he had no intention of getting involved in a lover’s quarrel. I didn’t know if the detective hadn’t made it clear exactly what happened between Daniel and I or if the Chief simply didn’t care. I realized that I wouldn’t get any help there. I knew I had to get out. I quit my job, told my landlord I was leaving and packed our stuff. I left Maya with a neighbour and went down to the travel agency to book two flights to South Korea. There weren’t any for a couple of days but I wasn’t staying in that town any longer than I had to so I booked a couple of bus tickets to a city two towns over, where the plane would be departing from, and a hotel room for the next night. As I was on my way out of the travel agency, I saw him. He was standing across the road, out in the open for all to see. He just looked at me. He didn’t smile, didn’t attempt to say anything. I couldn’t read his eyes since it was dark but I was freaked out anyway. I jumped in my car and sped home, not caring if the police pulled me over. That night, I didn’t sleep at all. I stayed up staring at the front door, half expecting him to try to get in. The following morning, I was out of there at the crack of dawn. Maya was still half asleep and the bus wasn’t scheduled for another two hours but I didn’t care. I waited in the bus station for those two hours. Finally, when the bus came, I felt a little more at ease and once I set down in South Korea two days later, I thought I had finally put it all behind me.
I was wrong.”
He looked up, met Yunho’s unreadable eyes and felt his defenses rise. He’d been down this road too many times to not have some reservations about or resentments towards the authorities. Yunho wasn’t looking at him with derision, scorn or disgust like some other cops had but the fact that he didn’t know what he was thinking didn’t sit well with him.
“I got an apartment in Seoul but somehow he found me, even though I hadn’t spoken to a soul in Sweden since the day I left. I moved again, back to my hometown on the other side of the country, but he found me there too. I didn’t want to put my family at risk so I hadn’t been living with them but once I knew he’d tracked me there too, I left in the middle of the night without a word.”
“How does he find you? If no one knows, I mean,” Yunho asked, speaking for the first time since Kim Jaejoong had begun telling his story.
Jaejoong shook his head. “I don’t know. He’s good with computers, that was his job and a hobby. Hacking and stuff. I don’t have a credit card, nothing on my name and I use a prepaid cell phone but still, somehow, he keeps finding me. I finally settled into a house on the outskirts of Seoul. It was a steal: it’s a huge, antique house, really beautiful but apparently hard to rent since locals believe it’s haunted. The location is ideal, though. It’s easy enough to get into the city if I need anything but not in a highly populated area so it’s harder for him to hide.”
“But easier for him to get to you,” Yunho pointed out.
Jaejoong had thought of that too so he didn’t pretend to be ignorant of the fact. “Yes.” He set the cup down and looked at Yunho with wide, honest, accepting eyes. “Lieutenant Jung, I’ve walked this road too many times. I can’t run anymore. I don’t want to. I hate having to uproot my daughter every time I see a shadow around the corner. I hate having to file police reports every time I move. I hate having to see the looks in their eyes when they realize what kind of lifestyle I lead. I’m not ashamed of who I am but I don’t think I should have to pay for it either and that’s exactly what will happen if the police continue to ignore me. I’m all my daughter has. This is my last attempt at doing this in a lawful fashion. After this… Well, let’s just say I’m not above taking the law into my own hands. If it comes down to that, which I hope it won’t.”
Yunho felt his lips twitch. Kim Jaejoong was threatening him: help me or I’ll help myself. He certainly had balls, that’s for sure.
“What’s his name?” Yunho asked.
“Daniel Stevenson.”
Yunho wrote the name down then rested his pen on the paper pad, leaning back in the chair.
“I’ll be honest with you, Mr. Kim. There’s not a whole lot I can do until something happens. He has to somehow threaten or endanger your or your daughter’s life before we can move against him. As of right now, he’s not even in contact with you, is he?”
Jaejoong said nothing for a moment, only stared at the table where his glossy nails tapped a staccato.
“He sends me things,” he finally said.
Yunho raised a brow. “Things?”
Jaejoong nodded. “Little trinkets. Stuff that he got from a vintage store. He’ll attach a note saying it reminded him of me or some memory from our past. There’ve even been pictures. Taking Maya to school, running errands. Even when I don’t see or feel him, he’s there. He hasn’t sent me anything that indicates that he knows where we live now but it’s only a matter of time.”
Yunho considered the man before him for a moment. He looked defeated. He’d been haughty and confident but now he looked like a man at the end of his rope, one who had accepted that he would either have to kill or be killed.
Sighing, Yunho ran a hand through his hair. “As I said before, there’s not much we can do until a threat is made against you but…”
Jaejoong’s eyes swept up to lock with his.
“…I’m going to take what you told me today to my boss. I’m going to ask him to at least allow me to request the case files from the city where the first incident took place. If we can establish a pattern then maybe you can build a case to request a restraining order on your behalf.”
Jaejoong cocked his head to the side. “That won’t accomplish much. We don’t even know where he is.”
Yunho smiled sardonically. “It’s a start.”
Jaejoong nodded and they lapsed into silence.
“You know, the signs were there, but I ignored them,” he said suddenly.
Yunho’s eyebrows winged upward. “Excuse me?”
“In the beginning… From the minute we started hanging out, he was possessive, wanting me all to himself. He was more than a little obsessed with me and I…I liked it. I guess you could say that I loved the way he loved me. He did love me, it wasn’t just about ownership, I know that much, and I sincerely loved him too. But sometimes I feel like if maybe I’d been a little less vain, a little less self-involved right out of the gate and I’d fixed that particular issue from the get-go then none of this would’ve happened. Or maybe I did give him a reason to be insecure about my love for him and our marriage and I just can’t see it.”
He might have been a man, Yunho thought, but he suffered from the same symptoms that women in abusive relationships did. He didn’t know why they called it “battered women’s syndrome” when battery happened to any and everyone, man, woman or child, and they all experienced the same feelings of guilt and responsibility.
Giving into the feelings of sympathy he felt and the proceeding urge to offer comfort, he reached out and patted Jaejoong’s hand where it lay on the table.
“This is in no way your fault. You’re not responsible for his actions.” He paused, waiting until the doubt in Jaejoong’s eyes faded. “I can’t make you any guarantees, I don’t want to lie to you, but I promise to do whatever I can to make sure that you and your daughter stay safe.”
Jaejoong looked deeply into his eyes and, for the first time in years, felt like he’d finally met someone he could trust.
He gave Yunho a small smile as he said, “I think I believe you.”
As he walked Jaejoong and Maya out, Yunho gave him his card and told him to call if he ever felt that he was in danger. After they left, he ignored the curious glances and offhand questions from his fellow cops and sat at his desk, wondering how the hell he was going to make a pitch to the Captain.
“Hey, boss!”
At his desk, Yunho braced himself before he looked up at the man he both respected and feared the most.
Captain Jung was an intimidating man, tall with a solid, stoic figure. He glared as quickly and as often as he smiled, he could even chew you out with a grin on his face. All of his men respected him and did their best to stay on his good side, which wasn’t hard. Follow his orders and you were golden. He was a reasonable man…so he said.
Glancing around at his squad, Captain Jung asked, “So, did anything interesting happen while I was gone? Anything I should know about?”
Someone cleared their throat and Yunho could feel more than a few pairs of eyes on him.
Assholes.
Standing, Yunho walked around his desk and approached him. “Can I see you in your office for a moment, Captain?”
Captain Jung’s eyes narrowed but he said nothing as he made his way to his office, Yunho following closely behind. When they were seated behind closed doors, he raised an expectant brow.
“Well? I know you didn’t follow me in here because you missed me.”
Yunho smiled. “Who wouldn’t miss you?”
“Yunho…”
Sighing, he jumped up to pace. “A case came in a couple hours ago.”
Captain Jung cocked a brow, a common trait of Yunho’s. “And? What seems to be the problem?”
Yunho stopped his pacing and considered his words before deciding that the best approach was to tell him everything and let him decide for himself. He gave his Captain a brief rundown of everything Jaejoong had told him, minus the detailed and impertinent details of his marriage. When he finished, Captain Jung just stared at him.
“I’m confused,” he finally said.
“About?” Yunho prodded.
“Yunho…” He sighed. “There’s no case here. It’s like you told him: until something happens there’s absolutely nothing we can do. I’m not going to waste manpower persuing an incident that hasn’t even occurred yet.”
“But it has,” Yunho argued, “several times over. It’s only a matter of time before…”
“It hasn’t happened here. If or when it does happen, then he can come in and file a proper report,” Captain Jung cut in. “Until then, let it go.”
Yunho stared down at his Captain, his eyes hard, jaw tense as a vein throbbed there. “At least let me request the case files from the Swedish police.”
“No.”
“There’s no harm in…”
“On what grounds?” Captain Jung interrupted again. “You can’t file an international request for information out of curiosity or ‘just in case’, Yunho. You should know better.”
Yunho’s brows furrowed and he found himself taking on a tone he’d never used with his Captain before. “Are you sure it’s not because he’s gay?”
Captain Jung looked genuinely stunned. “What?”
“The police aren’t any more accepting of homosexuality here than they were there. You should’ve seen the looks he got when he came in here: they were all half fascinated and half mortified. He expects that kind of reaction because he’s had to deal with it so many times already. I don’t want to come in one day and hear that they found him dead, or worse, him and his little girl.”
Captain Jung stood slowly. “Firstly, I’m going to excuse the insinuation behind your words and chock it up to an emotional outburst. I know you wouldn’t dare accuse me of prejudice or letting that prejudice get in the way of doing the job, the job I’ve been doing since before you were born.”
High color tainted Yunho’s cheeks.
“I may not understand or agree with his lifestyle but I would never let it get in the way of carrying out justice. I’ve never held it against you, have I?”
Yunho’s flush deepened.
“If anything, the others might accuse me of being biased towards you, being your uncle and all. You’re the youngest lieutenant this squad has ever had and I’m sure it’s raised more than a few eyebrows but I never would have promoted you if you hadn’t earned it, if I didn’t feel like it was deserved. I may not get the ga…”
Yunho smiled slightly as he fumbled over the word.
“I may not understand why he chose the lifestyle that he did but no one deserves to be stalked, harassed or abused. No one. However, legally, there’s absolutely nothing we can do. By his own admission, there’s no evidence that he’s being stalked, harassed or abused. It may happen but any defense attorney could argue that it just as equally could not. Yunho…” His eyes gentled. “Our hands are tied on this. For now, anyway. I hope nothing occurs to untie them, for his sake. So just…leave it be.”
Sighing, Yunho ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Okay.”
His uncle was right. He’d said it himself from the beginning, after all.
But those eyes… He didn’t think he would get them out of his head for a while.
Author: VampireMadonna
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: PG-13
Length: Undetermined
Summary: Kim Jaejoong is on the run from his crazed ex-husband and Lieutenant Jung Yunho is the only one standing between him and an uncertain fate. Will Yunho be his savior...or will his rescue come too late?
“I’d like to report a murder: my own.”
Yunho looked up from where he sat at his desk to the source of the bold announcement. His eyes were one pair of many that sought and became glued to the striking figure standing just inside the squad room. Silence reigned throughout the previously noisy den.
He was beautiful.
If Yunho had to pick a word to describe the man, that was the adjective that suited him best. He was simply beautiful. But that beautiful face currently wore a defiant expression and that, in conjunction with what he’d said, caught Yunho’s attention. He made a cursory glance around the room, noting the stunned expressions on his fellow cops’ faces, and decided that he would have to deal with their guest.
Since the Captain’s out, he thought as he rose, I’m in charge anyway.
As he approached the man, he noticed a little girl clinging to his hand, her body half-shielded behind his. She couldn’t have been more than seven by his estimation.
“I’m Lieutenant Jung Yunho. How may I help you?” he asked politely as he came to a stop a foot in front of the man.
Wide, dark eyes gazed back at him, so big and deep that he felt as if a gravitational force was pulling him into their bottomless depths. Between those eyes was a broad, aristocratic nose and beneath that were the reddest, most kissable pair of lips he’d ever set eyes on.
“Yes, I’d like to make a report.”
The voice, when it came, was low but not deep. There was something rather airy about it.
Yunho glanced over his shoulder and, noting the captivated stares aimed at the man before him, turned back to the stranger, saying, “Will you follow me this way, please?”
The only way to return normalcy to the squad room was to get him out of their sight.
Yunho led the way to Interview Room B. He opened the door and gestured for the man to sit, then remembered the little girl. Whatever they were going to talk about, she probably shouldn’t hear it.
“Officer Choi: a moment, please,” he called from the doorway.
When a young female officer appeared, he gestured to the little girl. “Can you take her next door, please?”
At his words, the little girl recoiled, sinking deeper into her father. His hand slid around her waist, holding her just as closely, his eyes daring Yunho to take her away from him.
“It would be better if she isn’t present while we do this. I’m sure you’d agree,” Yunho added pointedly.
Those big dark eyes stared at him unblinkingly for a full minute longer before he finally loosened his hold on the girl. Smiling into her face, he said gently, in English, “Go with the nice lady. I’ll be right here.” He kissed her cheek and released her.
When Officer Choi led the girl out of the room, Yunho closed the door and took a seat opposite the man at the table. He had forgotten to bring a paper pad and pen for notes but, luckily, someone had left one behind so he slid it in front of him and looked into those bottomless eyes expectantly.
“I know you’re probably curious about that dramatic statement I made but it was the only way I could think of to get your attention,” he began.
Yunho picked up the pen. “Name?”
His tongue snaked out to moisten those cherry red rips, leaving a glossy finish behind. “Jaejoong Ste…” He broke off, shook his head as if to clear it. “Kim Jaejoong.”
Yunho arched a brow but said nothing. “And you said you would like to report a murder?”
Jaejoong smiled slightly. “Well, obviously I can’t since I’m not dead. Yet, anyway. But that’s why I’m here. I want to do everything I can to prevent that.”
“Who’s trying to kill you?”
“My husband. Ex-husband,” he clarified.
Jaejoong met Yunho’s eyes directly, the expression in them fierce, as if daring Yunho to judge him or his lifestyle.
Yunho paused as he absorbed the delicacy of the situation. “Can you give me some background?”
Jaejoong nodded. “This isn’t the first time I’ve sought help from the police but it may very well be the last. I imagine that what you’re thinking now is what they all thought when I told them who I was running from.”
Yunho said nothing, only continued to watch him silently.
“We met here, in Korea, at university. He, Daniel, is from Sweden but he did his degree here. He was fascinated with the culture, he said. Then we met and became fascinated with each other. I’ll spare you the details but we were in love, deliriously so, and on the day we graduated he asked me to marry him and I said yes. I loved him, enough to leave behind everything and everyone I knew and loved and start a new life with him in his homeland.”
Yunho stood, went to the cooler in the corner and got two paper cups of water, setting one down in from of Jaejoong.
Jaejoong picked up the cup and took a sip before continuing.
“Everything was great at first. Perfect, I guess you could say. We were both lucky enough to get great jobs when we moved there. We had a nice little house in a quiet suburb, a wedding gift from Daniel’s parents. The perfect job, perfect house, perfect husband: it was all very ideal. I couldn’t ask for more. After our second anniversary, we started talking about children and looking at avenues we might want to consider, trying to figure out which was best for us. In the end, we decided on adoption as opposed to surrogacy. We were fortunate enough to find a little girl, not yet a year old, who was of Korean/Swedish descent. We couldn’t believe our luck: a mix of the two of us? It was like a sign from the heavens. Like fate. And so we adopted her, our Maya. It couldn’t have been more perfect. We were complete now, a family.
Since she was still so young, we decided that one of us should quit our job to stay home and take care of her. Daniel was making more money, and since he’s Swedish we assumed he’d have better job security, so it seemed like the obvious choice for me to do it. I didn’t mind. I’d fallen in love with her on first sight. Everything was good for a while, another couple of years, then things started to change little by little. He started having these mood swings and he’d come home with a really nasty temper. Eventually, he started acting really suspicious of me, asking what I was doing all day, where I went, who I talked to. He accused me of cheating, which I wasn’t. The thought never even crossed my mind. I loved him… I would never betray him like that, would never jeopardize our family. It would escalate into these screaming matches until I had enough and I’d take Maya next door to the neighbour, who was my best friend there. Eventually, he would calm down and come over, say he was sorry and beg me to come home, which I would. Then things would be fine for a few days, a week, before it started all over again.
I began to suspect that maybe he was bipolar, or worse: schizophrenic. I’d done some psychology electives in university and knew the signs. I wanted him to get screened and diagnosed but he refused. Medication would’ve helped him manage the symptoms. It’s not untreatable. If he’d just listened to me…”
The eyes were steady, Yunho noted. Voice too. He spoke in a very even, matter-of-fact way, as if he was scrolling through his memory bank and listing all the pertinent information that came up. The only giveaway, the only outward sign that he was distressed or emotional, were his fingers. Every so often, the pinkies would beat a rapid tattoo against the cup he held between his hands.
“The situation kept escalating, his behaviour became more violent. Shouting wasn’t enough anymore. He would use his size to intimidate me. I’m only 5’9, he was about 6’2. I don’t intimidate very easily but it’s difficult when the person you love has waves of anger rolling off of him while he’s backing you into a wall. And putting his fist into said wall. I threatened to leave then, if he didn’t get help. I took Maya next door and stayed there for three days before he finally agreed to get help. Once he was diagnosed, with the meds and counseling, things settled down again and I thought our lives were getting back on track. Maya started preschool and we were happy again, excited and sad that she was growing up so fast. But it didn’t last long. Unbeknownst to me, he started skipping his doses until he wasn’t taking any at all. He didn’t feel like he needed them anymore. He thought he had a handle on the disease but it doesn’t work that way. Nothing I said would change his mind. I slipped it into his food when I could. Drugging someone is illegal but I felt like I had no other option. However, he hadn’t started acting out again, he seemed like himself, so I let it go, let myself believe that maybe he was right. There are always exceptions to the rule, right? I should’ve known better. I did know better but I loved him.”
He paused, took a sip of water, then stared down at the cup in his hands.
“It wasn’t long before I started seeing the signs again. The fits of rage, the moodiness. One minute he’d be fine, he’d be himself, and the next he’d be threatening to kill me if he found out I was cheating on him. I screamed at him that I wasn’t, that he needed to trust me, needed to take his meds so he could stop being so paranoid. He told me he was finally seeing things clearly. We got into a bit of a shoving match and he slapped me. That was the last straw. I couldn’t take it anymore. The next day, when he came home from work, I’d packed his stuff. I told him to leave. I said that if he didn’t, I would and I would take Maya with me. She’s more mine than she ever was his. I never wanted to take her away from him but… He didn’t give me much of a choice.
Thankfully, he left. He had enough control of his mental faculties to see that I was serious. He moved in with his parents and they promised me they would get him help, get him into counseling and back on his meds. I still loved him enough to want to save my marriage so I believed them. Months passed without a word from him. His mother would call to check on Maya and tell me he was progressing nicely and should be able to return home to us soon. I was hopeful. Maybe things were finally going to get back on track. Then one day I was coming home from the supermarket and I noticed someone following me. I couldn’t see who it was, I just felt like someone was watching and I was being shadowed. I was glad Maya wasn’t with me. I went back to the house, locked up tight, thinking I was safe. I went into the kitchen to put away the groceries, turned around and there he was. The minute I looked into his eyes, saw how wild they were, I knew he wasn’t on his meds and hadn’t been for a long time. Later I found out that he’d resisted his parents’ attempts to get him into a center to deal with the disease and since he wouldn’t even take the medication, they’d kicked him out, unable to deal with him. His mother lied to me in our phone conversations because she thought that I would cut her out of Maya’s life if I knew the truth.
I tried to talk to him calmly while my mind worked a mile a minute trying to find a safe way out and away from him. He didn’t give me the chance, though. He lunged at me, taking me to the ground as he grabbed me by the neck and started choking me. I struggled, kicked and scratched him, but it only infuriated him more. He got so angry that he punched me. He hit me so hard that I blacked out for a minute or so. When I came to, he was still on top of me. I could hear him muttering, saying he would kill me before he let me be with someone else. He called me a whore, among other things. I could barely hear him above the pounding in my head. My face was numb too. I’d never experienced pain like that before. I hope I never do again.
I needed to get away from him but couldn’t think of anything. I couldn’t really concentrate, didn’t have the strength. Instead, I tried to calm him down. I told him that I was sorry and I loved and missed him, that Maya and I wanted to be a family again. He started to cry and he kissed me. He said that he loved me and he didn’t want to hurt me but I needed to be taught a lesson. I told him I knew I was wrong and I would never betray him again. The more I talked to him, the more he seemed to settle. He stopped crying and his eyes cleared up. I felt hopeful. I asked him if he could help me up, and he did, then I told him my face hurt and asked for some ice from the freezer. The minute he turned his back, I ran. I ran like my life depended on it, even though I knew, somewhere in the back of my mind, that he wouldn’t follow me. Once I was outside, I managed to make it to my neighbour’s lawn before I collapsed and passed out again.
When I woke up, I was in the hospital. The police were there. They took my statement, there was an APB out for Daniel as he had taken off as soon as I ran out. They found him the next day. He was deemed mentally incompetent and sent to an institution. I filed for divorce. The house was in his name and I had very little money of my own but his parents, who were his legal guardians, gave me the house and a nice chunk of change. To assuage their guilt, I assumed. And for my troubles…” He smiled bitterly. “Does a broken nose and cracked cheekbone count as ‘troubles’?”
Shrugging, he continued. “If I’d been on my own, I would’ve probably thrown it in their faces but I had Maya to think about so I took it. I sold the house, though, and moved to a small town. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going. For Maya’s sake, I kept in touch with Daniel’s parents but I always called from a pay phone. I never told them where we were and they had the decency not to ask.
I got a job and Maya and I settled in. We had a small apartment and my job didn’t pay much. I didn’t need the money, of course, I simply wanted to draw as little attention as possible and I needed to bring some normalcy back into Maya’s life. Months passed without a word from anyone from our old life. I was almost able to forget that we even had one. And then, I started getting that feeling of being watched again. I told myself I was just being paranoid, Daniel was locked up, but then a few days later I got a call from the detective who had worked my case. He was the only one who knew my number, just in case. Somehow, Daniel got out, he said. He didn’t think he’d be able to find me. I told him he was wrong about that: Daniel was already there. I hadn’t seen him yet but I knew it in my bones. He’d found us. The detective promised to alert the sheriff’s department of the town I lived in and fill them in on everything that had happened. I was grateful for that, at least, but my gratitude was short lived. It never occurred to me what the people of the town thought about me. I hadn’t even given dating a second thought so I guess everyone thought I was straight, especially since I had a little girl and since she was half Korean, she did bear at least a slight ethnic resemblance, but once word hit the Sheriff’s office about what happened in my old town, it spread like wildfire. Not only was I running from a psycho ex-husband but I was also the resident fag now.
The Chief made it clear to me, in no uncertain terms, that he had no intention of getting involved in a lover’s quarrel. I didn’t know if the detective hadn’t made it clear exactly what happened between Daniel and I or if the Chief simply didn’t care. I realized that I wouldn’t get any help there. I knew I had to get out. I quit my job, told my landlord I was leaving and packed our stuff. I left Maya with a neighbour and went down to the travel agency to book two flights to South Korea. There weren’t any for a couple of days but I wasn’t staying in that town any longer than I had to so I booked a couple of bus tickets to a city two towns over, where the plane would be departing from, and a hotel room for the next night. As I was on my way out of the travel agency, I saw him. He was standing across the road, out in the open for all to see. He just looked at me. He didn’t smile, didn’t attempt to say anything. I couldn’t read his eyes since it was dark but I was freaked out anyway. I jumped in my car and sped home, not caring if the police pulled me over. That night, I didn’t sleep at all. I stayed up staring at the front door, half expecting him to try to get in. The following morning, I was out of there at the crack of dawn. Maya was still half asleep and the bus wasn’t scheduled for another two hours but I didn’t care. I waited in the bus station for those two hours. Finally, when the bus came, I felt a little more at ease and once I set down in South Korea two days later, I thought I had finally put it all behind me.
I was wrong.”
He looked up, met Yunho’s unreadable eyes and felt his defenses rise. He’d been down this road too many times to not have some reservations about or resentments towards the authorities. Yunho wasn’t looking at him with derision, scorn or disgust like some other cops had but the fact that he didn’t know what he was thinking didn’t sit well with him.
“I got an apartment in Seoul but somehow he found me, even though I hadn’t spoken to a soul in Sweden since the day I left. I moved again, back to my hometown on the other side of the country, but he found me there too. I didn’t want to put my family at risk so I hadn’t been living with them but once I knew he’d tracked me there too, I left in the middle of the night without a word.”
“How does he find you? If no one knows, I mean,” Yunho asked, speaking for the first time since Kim Jaejoong had begun telling his story.
Jaejoong shook his head. “I don’t know. He’s good with computers, that was his job and a hobby. Hacking and stuff. I don’t have a credit card, nothing on my name and I use a prepaid cell phone but still, somehow, he keeps finding me. I finally settled into a house on the outskirts of Seoul. It was a steal: it’s a huge, antique house, really beautiful but apparently hard to rent since locals believe it’s haunted. The location is ideal, though. It’s easy enough to get into the city if I need anything but not in a highly populated area so it’s harder for him to hide.”
“But easier for him to get to you,” Yunho pointed out.
Jaejoong had thought of that too so he didn’t pretend to be ignorant of the fact. “Yes.” He set the cup down and looked at Yunho with wide, honest, accepting eyes. “Lieutenant Jung, I’ve walked this road too many times. I can’t run anymore. I don’t want to. I hate having to uproot my daughter every time I see a shadow around the corner. I hate having to file police reports every time I move. I hate having to see the looks in their eyes when they realize what kind of lifestyle I lead. I’m not ashamed of who I am but I don’t think I should have to pay for it either and that’s exactly what will happen if the police continue to ignore me. I’m all my daughter has. This is my last attempt at doing this in a lawful fashion. After this… Well, let’s just say I’m not above taking the law into my own hands. If it comes down to that, which I hope it won’t.”
Yunho felt his lips twitch. Kim Jaejoong was threatening him: help me or I’ll help myself. He certainly had balls, that’s for sure.
“What’s his name?” Yunho asked.
“Daniel Stevenson.”
Yunho wrote the name down then rested his pen on the paper pad, leaning back in the chair.
“I’ll be honest with you, Mr. Kim. There’s not a whole lot I can do until something happens. He has to somehow threaten or endanger your or your daughter’s life before we can move against him. As of right now, he’s not even in contact with you, is he?”
Jaejoong said nothing for a moment, only stared at the table where his glossy nails tapped a staccato.
“He sends me things,” he finally said.
Yunho raised a brow. “Things?”
Jaejoong nodded. “Little trinkets. Stuff that he got from a vintage store. He’ll attach a note saying it reminded him of me or some memory from our past. There’ve even been pictures. Taking Maya to school, running errands. Even when I don’t see or feel him, he’s there. He hasn’t sent me anything that indicates that he knows where we live now but it’s only a matter of time.”
Yunho considered the man before him for a moment. He looked defeated. He’d been haughty and confident but now he looked like a man at the end of his rope, one who had accepted that he would either have to kill or be killed.
Sighing, Yunho ran a hand through his hair. “As I said before, there’s not much we can do until a threat is made against you but…”
Jaejoong’s eyes swept up to lock with his.
“…I’m going to take what you told me today to my boss. I’m going to ask him to at least allow me to request the case files from the city where the first incident took place. If we can establish a pattern then maybe you can build a case to request a restraining order on your behalf.”
Jaejoong cocked his head to the side. “That won’t accomplish much. We don’t even know where he is.”
Yunho smiled sardonically. “It’s a start.”
Jaejoong nodded and they lapsed into silence.
“You know, the signs were there, but I ignored them,” he said suddenly.
Yunho’s eyebrows winged upward. “Excuse me?”
“In the beginning… From the minute we started hanging out, he was possessive, wanting me all to himself. He was more than a little obsessed with me and I…I liked it. I guess you could say that I loved the way he loved me. He did love me, it wasn’t just about ownership, I know that much, and I sincerely loved him too. But sometimes I feel like if maybe I’d been a little less vain, a little less self-involved right out of the gate and I’d fixed that particular issue from the get-go then none of this would’ve happened. Or maybe I did give him a reason to be insecure about my love for him and our marriage and I just can’t see it.”
He might have been a man, Yunho thought, but he suffered from the same symptoms that women in abusive relationships did. He didn’t know why they called it “battered women’s syndrome” when battery happened to any and everyone, man, woman or child, and they all experienced the same feelings of guilt and responsibility.
Giving into the feelings of sympathy he felt and the proceeding urge to offer comfort, he reached out and patted Jaejoong’s hand where it lay on the table.
“This is in no way your fault. You’re not responsible for his actions.” He paused, waiting until the doubt in Jaejoong’s eyes faded. “I can’t make you any guarantees, I don’t want to lie to you, but I promise to do whatever I can to make sure that you and your daughter stay safe.”
Jaejoong looked deeply into his eyes and, for the first time in years, felt like he’d finally met someone he could trust.
He gave Yunho a small smile as he said, “I think I believe you.”
As he walked Jaejoong and Maya out, Yunho gave him his card and told him to call if he ever felt that he was in danger. After they left, he ignored the curious glances and offhand questions from his fellow cops and sat at his desk, wondering how the hell he was going to make a pitch to the Captain.
“Hey, boss!”
At his desk, Yunho braced himself before he looked up at the man he both respected and feared the most.
Captain Jung was an intimidating man, tall with a solid, stoic figure. He glared as quickly and as often as he smiled, he could even chew you out with a grin on his face. All of his men respected him and did their best to stay on his good side, which wasn’t hard. Follow his orders and you were golden. He was a reasonable man…so he said.
Glancing around at his squad, Captain Jung asked, “So, did anything interesting happen while I was gone? Anything I should know about?”
Someone cleared their throat and Yunho could feel more than a few pairs of eyes on him.
Assholes.
Standing, Yunho walked around his desk and approached him. “Can I see you in your office for a moment, Captain?”
Captain Jung’s eyes narrowed but he said nothing as he made his way to his office, Yunho following closely behind. When they were seated behind closed doors, he raised an expectant brow.
“Well? I know you didn’t follow me in here because you missed me.”
Yunho smiled. “Who wouldn’t miss you?”
“Yunho…”
Sighing, he jumped up to pace. “A case came in a couple hours ago.”
Captain Jung cocked a brow, a common trait of Yunho’s. “And? What seems to be the problem?”
Yunho stopped his pacing and considered his words before deciding that the best approach was to tell him everything and let him decide for himself. He gave his Captain a brief rundown of everything Jaejoong had told him, minus the detailed and impertinent details of his marriage. When he finished, Captain Jung just stared at him.
“I’m confused,” he finally said.
“About?” Yunho prodded.
“Yunho…” He sighed. “There’s no case here. It’s like you told him: until something happens there’s absolutely nothing we can do. I’m not going to waste manpower persuing an incident that hasn’t even occurred yet.”
“But it has,” Yunho argued, “several times over. It’s only a matter of time before…”
“It hasn’t happened here. If or when it does happen, then he can come in and file a proper report,” Captain Jung cut in. “Until then, let it go.”
Yunho stared down at his Captain, his eyes hard, jaw tense as a vein throbbed there. “At least let me request the case files from the Swedish police.”
“No.”
“There’s no harm in…”
“On what grounds?” Captain Jung interrupted again. “You can’t file an international request for information out of curiosity or ‘just in case’, Yunho. You should know better.”
Yunho’s brows furrowed and he found himself taking on a tone he’d never used with his Captain before. “Are you sure it’s not because he’s gay?”
Captain Jung looked genuinely stunned. “What?”
“The police aren’t any more accepting of homosexuality here than they were there. You should’ve seen the looks he got when he came in here: they were all half fascinated and half mortified. He expects that kind of reaction because he’s had to deal with it so many times already. I don’t want to come in one day and hear that they found him dead, or worse, him and his little girl.”
Captain Jung stood slowly. “Firstly, I’m going to excuse the insinuation behind your words and chock it up to an emotional outburst. I know you wouldn’t dare accuse me of prejudice or letting that prejudice get in the way of doing the job, the job I’ve been doing since before you were born.”
High color tainted Yunho’s cheeks.
“I may not understand or agree with his lifestyle but I would never let it get in the way of carrying out justice. I’ve never held it against you, have I?”
Yunho’s flush deepened.
“If anything, the others might accuse me of being biased towards you, being your uncle and all. You’re the youngest lieutenant this squad has ever had and I’m sure it’s raised more than a few eyebrows but I never would have promoted you if you hadn’t earned it, if I didn’t feel like it was deserved. I may not get the ga…”
Yunho smiled slightly as he fumbled over the word.
“I may not understand why he chose the lifestyle that he did but no one deserves to be stalked, harassed or abused. No one. However, legally, there’s absolutely nothing we can do. By his own admission, there’s no evidence that he’s being stalked, harassed or abused. It may happen but any defense attorney could argue that it just as equally could not. Yunho…” His eyes gentled. “Our hands are tied on this. For now, anyway. I hope nothing occurs to untie them, for his sake. So just…leave it be.”
Sighing, Yunho ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Okay.”
His uncle was right. He’d said it himself from the beginning, after all.
But those eyes… He didn’t think he would get them out of his head for a while.