Fate (Mirotic) Jaejoong's POV: Part 6 (Final)
Title: Fate (Mirotic) Jaejoong's POV: Part 6
Author: VampireMadonna
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: NC-17
Synopsis: Jaejoong's life is...complicated. Still, he loves everything about it. But one day, he meets someone who throws a wrench in the wheels and makes his complicated life even more complex.
“It’s beautiful…”
Jaejoong stood at the open terrace doors gazing out at the view of the beach and ocean beyond. There were tiny dottings of islands on the horizon.
Coming up behind him, Yunho wrapped his arms around his waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. “I’m glad you like it.”
Jaejoong turned in his arms. “But it’s a lot more than I expected.”
Yunho grinned. “What? Did you think just because we’re idols we couldn’t afford such luxury?”
Jaejoong shrugged. “Something like that.”
Yunho laughed. “The first year that we came here, the company sponsored us. Their gift to us for two years of hard work, post debut of course. We loved it so much that whenever we have our yearly breaks, we usually come here. The owner has become a friend over the years so we get a discount. Plus he gets to use our name as advertizing when he’s trying to get other celebrities to rent so it works out.”
“Cool…”
Jaejoong pulled out of Yunho’s embrace and walked back into their room. Their room. He still couldn’t believe it. He’d been mortified when, in front of everyone - a combined total of nine - Yunho had announced that they had the best room in the mini-mansion - it was way too grand to be called a plain old beach house - and summarily dragged him off to said room. It was actually a suite, with a master bath, huge king-sized bed, living area and breakfast nook, all decorated in a bright, unblemished white, as was the entire house. Yunho had great, though clearly expensive, taste.
Frowning, Yunho followed behind him. “You don’t sound very excited. Do you not like it?”
Jaejoong sat on the side of the bed and turned towards him. Seeing the doubt in Yunho’s eyes, he smiled.
“Of course I like it, what’s not to like? It’s gorgeous. I’d have to save every penny for the next five years to be able to pay for this trip myself.”
Yunho grinned, doubt fading away. “Not quite that long but…” He stopped in front of Jaejoong. “I like doing things for you. I’m glad I’m able to provide a perfect vacation for myself and my beloved boyfriend.”
Jaejoong’s brows shot up in surprise. This was new. “Is that what I am?”
Yunho’s smile slipped a little. “That’s how I think of you. Well, it’s a lot more than that but in technical terms, yes.”
Jaejoong felt his heart flutter wildly in his chest. He was tempted to drop his gaze from Yunho’s but fought against the urge to do so. Yunho did so much for him, gave so much to him, why was he so afraid to return the favor? He could give him this much, couldn’t he?
“Well, if that’s how you think of me, then I guess that’s what I am,” he finally replied.
Smile firmly back in place, Yunho swooped down on him, catching his lips as he tumbled him back onto the downy-soft bed.
“It’s really beautiful here. I don’t think I want to leave. Ever.”
“Well…give me a few more years and maybe I can talk the owner into selling it to me,” Yunho half-joked. If Jaejoong really wanted it, he would find a way to make it happen.
Chuckling, Jaejoong leaned into Yunho’s side, sighing when his arm tightened around his waist. It had been a perfect week thus far and they still had one more to go.
They were walking along the endless stretch of white sand, which they did everyday. Except for when they were in their room, there wasn’t much alone time in the house. Big as it was, it didn’t feel that way with eleven people in it, ten of whom were male and seven of which were unattached. Besides Yunho and Jaejoong, there was one other couple in the house: loudmouth Kaze and his adorable girlfriend Soojin. How he found and managed to keep someone like her for five years, Jaejoong would never understand. But they were clearly in love and that was all that mattered. And having her there was a blessing because other than Jaejoong, and Jinho to a lesser extent, the rest of the guys were useless in the kitchen, Yunho especially.
“JaeMi would love this too. As would mom, which reminds me, I should probably take some pictures so she can show them off to her friends. I think she enjoys my being an idol more than I do.”
Yunho laughed. “She’s a sweet lady and she’s proud of you, rightly so.”
Jae snorted. “Sweet, right. And you’re just biased. You know…”
He broke off as his eyes settled on the lone figure sitting further down the beach, staring out at the waves as they crashed against the shore.
“Have you talked to him?” Yunho asked quietly.
Jaejoong shook his head. “No, not really. I don’t quite know what to say, honestly.” He pulled away from Yunho. “But I need to talk to him. I owe him that.”
Yunho nodded. “I’ll wait here.”
Jaejoong slowly made his way across the tufts of white sand to the young man sitting by his lonesome, and looking the part.
“Hey.”
Jinyoung glanced over his shoulder, though he already knew who it was. “Hey.”
“What are you doing all the way out here by yourself?”
“The house felt a bit crowded and I wanted some time to myself.”
Jaejoong nodded. When an uncomfortable silence lapsed between them, he was tempted to turn tail and run. He really didn’t want to have this conversation but it was a long time coming and couldn’t be put off any longer.
“Jin, would you just talk to me? I hate how things are between us.”
“You wouldn’t want to hear what I have to say. I promised that…”
“Fuck the promise!” Jae swore heatedly. “Just say what’s on your mind, dammit. You’re like a damn robot. I hate seeing you this way. I want my friend back.”
“Well you should’ve thought about that before you brought him into our lives,” Jin retorted, jumping to his feet and turning on Jae.
Jaejoong staggered backward. “What?”
“You say you can’t bear to see me this way? How do you think I feel seeing you with him every single day?”
“Jin..”
He shook his head. “No. You opened this door, you can’t close it back just because you’ve changed your mind.” He paused, took a deep breath. “I love you, Jae. I love you and it hurts being around you, being your member, only being your friend. It hurts even more when I see you with him.”
“Jin…”
“But what hurts the most is that no matter what I said, no matter what I did, you never believed me. Do you know what it’s like to have no control over your feelings and have the person responsible for those feelings deny them time and time again?”
No, he didn’t know, Jae realized. And not only had he been doing it to Jin, but wasn’t he also doing it to Yunho by not acknowledging his feelings for him? He knew that Yunho loved him, even though he’d never said it. And why hadn’t he said it? Most likely because he was afraid that it would scare Jae off since Jae had never bared his own feelings, beyond being with Yunho anyway.
“I keep praying that one day I’ll wake up and I won’t love you anymore. You’ll just be Jae, my leader, my friend. But until that day, it’s taking all that I have to stay here.”
Jae gasped in surprise. “Jin, you can’t…”
“Why not? What’s keeping me here?”
Jae blanched. “The guys need you… You’ve worked so hard for this, all of these years. You can’t just throw it away because…because of me.”
“I would do anything for you, don’t you know that?”
Jae shook his head. “You can’t leave, it’s out of the question. I won’t let you.”
“Then will you leave him?”
“Jin… You can’t ask that of me.”
Jin ground his teeth stubbornly. “Why not? You’re asking me to stay and continue to endure what I’m feeling.”
“It’s not the same.”
“No, it isn’t and I know that. And I hate myself for even asking you to consider doing it. But when you signed up with us, you assured us that you weren’t looking for a relationship and yet, here you are. Being in a relationship is one thing, being gay is another, but being as committed as the two of you are… Don’t you think it might endanger the group’s future?”
Fire burned in the depths of Jae’s eyes. “I have and I would do anything to ensure our longevity.”
A small flare of hope lit Jin’s eyes. “So will you break up with him?”
“No,” Jaejoong said firmly. “But, if you’re so worried about it, I’ll withdraw from the group.”
Jin gasped.
“It might be tricky but I’m sure Yunho can help smooth the way. I may not be able to work again for a while, maybe not ever but…”
Jin shook his head. “Jae, don’t,” he said brokenly.
The fire in Jae’s eyes banked and he suddenly looked very sad. “I love you, Jin, truly, I do. But I’m in love with him,” he said, finally admitting what he’d known for a while. “I don’t want to lose you, you mean a great deal to me, but if you ask me to choose between you and him, it’s going to be him.”
Jae’s heart twisted at the tears he saw shining in Jin’s eyes. He hated being responsible for them.
“I want you to know that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you, for not believing that you loved me. I knew, a while ago, that you were telling me the truth. But I thought that maybe, if I kept telling you you didn’t feel what you felt, you would start to doubt it and you’d eventually forget me. I hoped anyway. It was stupid. The heart wants what it wants and there’s little we can do to change it until it’s good and ready. I should’ve known that. I did know that.”
He paused when he saw Jin’s features soften, finally realizing that all he’d wanted all this time was some understanding.
“But you’re not gay, Jin, and no matter how much you love me, I don’t think it would have worked. Being with a man, even someone like me, just isn’t in your nature and no relationship survives on emotions alone. There’s a lot more that goes into making it work. I wasn’t looking for it but somehow I found that with Yunho. That’s how it should be. Love finds us when it’s good and ready, we shouldn’t go chasing after it like it’s the Holy Grail. But I want you to know that if you were gay, or bi, or at least gave me something to work with, I probably would’ve fallen for you. There’d be no reason for me not to. You’re a wonderful guy.”
He stopped again to let his words sink in, taking a deep breath to keep his own turbulent emotions at bay. He didn’t know what the hell he was spouting but he hoped it was all true. Love wasn’t exactly his area of expertise either.
“So what’s the verdict?” Jaejoong finally asked.
Jin turned to look out over the vast expanse of sun and sea. The scenery was too beautiful for this kind of heavy emotional drama. It was made for love and lovers. That realization made him feel even more alone. He turned back to Jae, met the dark eyes set in the beautiful face that he knew he would always love in some part of his heart and soul.
“Go to him.”
Jae blew out the breath that he didn’t know he was holding. “Jin…”
Jinyoung shook his head. “Just…don’t say anything. I’m going to stay out here a while. I’ll see you later.”
With that, he turned and started walking, slow and lifeless, towards the water.
“Jin!” Jae called.
He stopped but didn’t turn around.
“There’s someone out there for you, maybe even closer than you think.”
Jaejoong watched him as he started walking again, sad and half afraid that he would walk into the water and never resurface. Only when Jin reached the shoreline and started strolling alongside it did he turn and make his way back to Yunho.
As soon as he reached Yunho, he threw his arms around him and buried his face in his neck.
Surprised and more than a little worried about what it meant, Yunho held him tightly.
Jaejoong said nothing for a long while, giving himself time to settle his thoughts and calm his heart. The guilt he felt would probably nag at him for a long time but that was just something he would have to deal with. All things considered, he’d gotten the long end of the stick.
Pulling back, he looked up into Yunho’s eyes, his expression earnest. “I need to tell you something.”
Yunho froze, bracing himself. Those words were always a harbinger of bad things.
“I should’ve done this ages ago but I didn’t. However, there’s no time like the present so…here goes.” He took a deep breath, his eyes boring into Yunho’s. “I love you. You’re the nicest, kindest, handsomest, sweetest, cutest, most considerate man, no, person, I’ve ever met. I love you, Jung Yunho. I just wanted you to know that.”
Yunho melted, everything inside of him going soft and mushy. He hadn’t realized how long he’d yearned to hear those words.
“I…”
Jae’s finger on his lips quieted him.
Smiling, Jae moved his finger and lovingly caressed Yunho’s cheek. “I know. You tell me every time you look at me and you show me in every thoughtful act, every gentle touch. I know.”
Leaning down, Yunho brushed his lips against Jae’s, settling them there when Jae opened for him. If he wouldn’t let him say it then he was determined to show just how much he loved him so there’d never be any doubt.
When the kiss ended, he drew back and rested his forehead against Jae’s, rubbing their noses together.
“What’s this?” Jaejoong asked curiously.
“Eskimo kiss,” Yunho replied, bright spots blooming in his cheeks.
Jaejoong laughed and reciprocated the sign of affection.
Yes, his Yunho was indeed the sweetest, cutest man there ever was.
As the two basked in their love, a pair of dark, haunted eyes watched them, feeling his heart shatter into a million pieces.
Four months later…
Jinyoung watched the couple as they made the rounds in the party.
It was a little soiree that Yunho had organized for them to celebrate their comeback. Anyone else may have been hesitant to display their obvious love in such a public way but those two weren’t and he couldn’t help but admire them for it. Plus, it was a private event. All of the attendees were company employees and cherished friends. No one would dare endanger outing the couple and risk either losing their jobs or losing favor with the IT couple - on the DL, of course - of the moment.
“You okay there boss?”
Jin turned to see Leo standing beside him.
Groaning, he muttered, “Don’t call me that.”
The Gentle Giant, as they referred to their six feet, three inches friend, only smiled. “Why not? It’s true.”
Sighing, Jin gulped the rest of his drink.
It had come as a surprise to all of them when, the week before their comeback, Jae announced that he was stepping down as leader, or rather, handing over the position to Jin.
“It was yours to begin with,” he’d said, “I only held onto it for you when you couldn’t. Now I think it should return to its rightful owner.”
It was thoughtful of him and he’d been touched, as he was by everything where Jae was concerned, but part of him wondered if Jae had done it out of pity. Even as he thought it, he knew it wasn’t true. Jae was kind and Jin could see in the regretful looks Jae often sent his way that he hadn’t forgotten that day at the beach, but Jae wouldn’t make him leader if he didn’t believe he was capable enough.
Over the months since, their relationship had changed. It wasn’t back to the easy camaraderie they’d shared before he fucked things up but it was marginally better than the tense, heavy atmosphere that had hung over them prior to their trip. Progress, he supposed.
His eyes focused on the couple again, catching them during a private moment when they were gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes and he suddenly found himself smiling. His love for Jae was still there, a soft echo now compared to the loud hammer it had once been, but he knew that Yunho was the one for Jae. Even if Jae had loved him back or given him the chance he’d so desperately wanted, he’d never have been able to make him as happy as Yunho obviously did.
“You’re empty,” Leo suggested. “Let’s get you another drink.
Jin smiled at his oldest and closest friend and turned to precede him to the bar, just missing the flicker of loving concern that flashed in the man’s eyes.
A/N: I finally get to write an A/N! I was dying, seriously. *hugs it* Anyway, a few things.
Firstly, I know this is supposed to be from Jae’s POV but since I am never revisiting this fic ever, ever again, I threw in Yunho’s and anyone else’s who mattered so that you’d have a more complete picture.
Secondly, if you couldn’t tell, I kinda fell in love with Jin while I was writing this. The tortured ones always get me. I wish he was a real person so I could write about him some more…unless I write an original fic or something. Oh well…
BONUS: Jin & Leo's story
Author: VampireMadonna
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: NC-17
Synopsis: Jaejoong's life is...complicated. Still, he loves everything about it. But one day, he meets someone who throws a wrench in the wheels and makes his complicated life even more complex.
“It’s beautiful…”
Jaejoong stood at the open terrace doors gazing out at the view of the beach and ocean beyond. There were tiny dottings of islands on the horizon.
Coming up behind him, Yunho wrapped his arms around his waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. “I’m glad you like it.”
Jaejoong turned in his arms. “But it’s a lot more than I expected.”
Yunho grinned. “What? Did you think just because we’re idols we couldn’t afford such luxury?”
Jaejoong shrugged. “Something like that.”
Yunho laughed. “The first year that we came here, the company sponsored us. Their gift to us for two years of hard work, post debut of course. We loved it so much that whenever we have our yearly breaks, we usually come here. The owner has become a friend over the years so we get a discount. Plus he gets to use our name as advertizing when he’s trying to get other celebrities to rent so it works out.”
“Cool…”
Jaejoong pulled out of Yunho’s embrace and walked back into their room. Their room. He still couldn’t believe it. He’d been mortified when, in front of everyone - a combined total of nine - Yunho had announced that they had the best room in the mini-mansion - it was way too grand to be called a plain old beach house - and summarily dragged him off to said room. It was actually a suite, with a master bath, huge king-sized bed, living area and breakfast nook, all decorated in a bright, unblemished white, as was the entire house. Yunho had great, though clearly expensive, taste.
Frowning, Yunho followed behind him. “You don’t sound very excited. Do you not like it?”
Jaejoong sat on the side of the bed and turned towards him. Seeing the doubt in Yunho’s eyes, he smiled.
“Of course I like it, what’s not to like? It’s gorgeous. I’d have to save every penny for the next five years to be able to pay for this trip myself.”
Yunho grinned, doubt fading away. “Not quite that long but…” He stopped in front of Jaejoong. “I like doing things for you. I’m glad I’m able to provide a perfect vacation for myself and my beloved boyfriend.”
Jaejoong’s brows shot up in surprise. This was new. “Is that what I am?”
Yunho’s smile slipped a little. “That’s how I think of you. Well, it’s a lot more than that but in technical terms, yes.”
Jaejoong felt his heart flutter wildly in his chest. He was tempted to drop his gaze from Yunho’s but fought against the urge to do so. Yunho did so much for him, gave so much to him, why was he so afraid to return the favor? He could give him this much, couldn’t he?
“Well, if that’s how you think of me, then I guess that’s what I am,” he finally replied.
Smile firmly back in place, Yunho swooped down on him, catching his lips as he tumbled him back onto the downy-soft bed.
“It’s really beautiful here. I don’t think I want to leave. Ever.”
“Well…give me a few more years and maybe I can talk the owner into selling it to me,” Yunho half-joked. If Jaejoong really wanted it, he would find a way to make it happen.
Chuckling, Jaejoong leaned into Yunho’s side, sighing when his arm tightened around his waist. It had been a perfect week thus far and they still had one more to go.
They were walking along the endless stretch of white sand, which they did everyday. Except for when they were in their room, there wasn’t much alone time in the house. Big as it was, it didn’t feel that way with eleven people in it, ten of whom were male and seven of which were unattached. Besides Yunho and Jaejoong, there was one other couple in the house: loudmouth Kaze and his adorable girlfriend Soojin. How he found and managed to keep someone like her for five years, Jaejoong would never understand. But they were clearly in love and that was all that mattered. And having her there was a blessing because other than Jaejoong, and Jinho to a lesser extent, the rest of the guys were useless in the kitchen, Yunho especially.
“JaeMi would love this too. As would mom, which reminds me, I should probably take some pictures so she can show them off to her friends. I think she enjoys my being an idol more than I do.”
Yunho laughed. “She’s a sweet lady and she’s proud of you, rightly so.”
Jae snorted. “Sweet, right. And you’re just biased. You know…”
He broke off as his eyes settled on the lone figure sitting further down the beach, staring out at the waves as they crashed against the shore.
“Have you talked to him?” Yunho asked quietly.
Jaejoong shook his head. “No, not really. I don’t quite know what to say, honestly.” He pulled away from Yunho. “But I need to talk to him. I owe him that.”
Yunho nodded. “I’ll wait here.”
Jaejoong slowly made his way across the tufts of white sand to the young man sitting by his lonesome, and looking the part.
“Hey.”
Jinyoung glanced over his shoulder, though he already knew who it was. “Hey.”
“What are you doing all the way out here by yourself?”
“The house felt a bit crowded and I wanted some time to myself.”
Jaejoong nodded. When an uncomfortable silence lapsed between them, he was tempted to turn tail and run. He really didn’t want to have this conversation but it was a long time coming and couldn’t be put off any longer.
“Jin, would you just talk to me? I hate how things are between us.”
“You wouldn’t want to hear what I have to say. I promised that…”
“Fuck the promise!” Jae swore heatedly. “Just say what’s on your mind, dammit. You’re like a damn robot. I hate seeing you this way. I want my friend back.”
“Well you should’ve thought about that before you brought him into our lives,” Jin retorted, jumping to his feet and turning on Jae.
Jaejoong staggered backward. “What?”
“You say you can’t bear to see me this way? How do you think I feel seeing you with him every single day?”
“Jin..”
He shook his head. “No. You opened this door, you can’t close it back just because you’ve changed your mind.” He paused, took a deep breath. “I love you, Jae. I love you and it hurts being around you, being your member, only being your friend. It hurts even more when I see you with him.”
“Jin…”
“But what hurts the most is that no matter what I said, no matter what I did, you never believed me. Do you know what it’s like to have no control over your feelings and have the person responsible for those feelings deny them time and time again?”
No, he didn’t know, Jae realized. And not only had he been doing it to Jin, but wasn’t he also doing it to Yunho by not acknowledging his feelings for him? He knew that Yunho loved him, even though he’d never said it. And why hadn’t he said it? Most likely because he was afraid that it would scare Jae off since Jae had never bared his own feelings, beyond being with Yunho anyway.
“I keep praying that one day I’ll wake up and I won’t love you anymore. You’ll just be Jae, my leader, my friend. But until that day, it’s taking all that I have to stay here.”
Jae gasped in surprise. “Jin, you can’t…”
“Why not? What’s keeping me here?”
Jae blanched. “The guys need you… You’ve worked so hard for this, all of these years. You can’t just throw it away because…because of me.”
“I would do anything for you, don’t you know that?”
Jae shook his head. “You can’t leave, it’s out of the question. I won’t let you.”
“Then will you leave him?”
“Jin… You can’t ask that of me.”
Jin ground his teeth stubbornly. “Why not? You’re asking me to stay and continue to endure what I’m feeling.”
“It’s not the same.”
“No, it isn’t and I know that. And I hate myself for even asking you to consider doing it. But when you signed up with us, you assured us that you weren’t looking for a relationship and yet, here you are. Being in a relationship is one thing, being gay is another, but being as committed as the two of you are… Don’t you think it might endanger the group’s future?”
Fire burned in the depths of Jae’s eyes. “I have and I would do anything to ensure our longevity.”
A small flare of hope lit Jin’s eyes. “So will you break up with him?”
“No,” Jaejoong said firmly. “But, if you’re so worried about it, I’ll withdraw from the group.”
Jin gasped.
“It might be tricky but I’m sure Yunho can help smooth the way. I may not be able to work again for a while, maybe not ever but…”
Jin shook his head. “Jae, don’t,” he said brokenly.
The fire in Jae’s eyes banked and he suddenly looked very sad. “I love you, Jin, truly, I do. But I’m in love with him,” he said, finally admitting what he’d known for a while. “I don’t want to lose you, you mean a great deal to me, but if you ask me to choose between you and him, it’s going to be him.”
Jae’s heart twisted at the tears he saw shining in Jin’s eyes. He hated being responsible for them.
“I want you to know that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you, for not believing that you loved me. I knew, a while ago, that you were telling me the truth. But I thought that maybe, if I kept telling you you didn’t feel what you felt, you would start to doubt it and you’d eventually forget me. I hoped anyway. It was stupid. The heart wants what it wants and there’s little we can do to change it until it’s good and ready. I should’ve known that. I did know that.”
He paused when he saw Jin’s features soften, finally realizing that all he’d wanted all this time was some understanding.
“But you’re not gay, Jin, and no matter how much you love me, I don’t think it would have worked. Being with a man, even someone like me, just isn’t in your nature and no relationship survives on emotions alone. There’s a lot more that goes into making it work. I wasn’t looking for it but somehow I found that with Yunho. That’s how it should be. Love finds us when it’s good and ready, we shouldn’t go chasing after it like it’s the Holy Grail. But I want you to know that if you were gay, or bi, or at least gave me something to work with, I probably would’ve fallen for you. There’d be no reason for me not to. You’re a wonderful guy.”
He stopped again to let his words sink in, taking a deep breath to keep his own turbulent emotions at bay. He didn’t know what the hell he was spouting but he hoped it was all true. Love wasn’t exactly his area of expertise either.
“So what’s the verdict?” Jaejoong finally asked.
Jin turned to look out over the vast expanse of sun and sea. The scenery was too beautiful for this kind of heavy emotional drama. It was made for love and lovers. That realization made him feel even more alone. He turned back to Jae, met the dark eyes set in the beautiful face that he knew he would always love in some part of his heart and soul.
“Go to him.”
Jae blew out the breath that he didn’t know he was holding. “Jin…”
Jinyoung shook his head. “Just…don’t say anything. I’m going to stay out here a while. I’ll see you later.”
With that, he turned and started walking, slow and lifeless, towards the water.
“Jin!” Jae called.
He stopped but didn’t turn around.
“There’s someone out there for you, maybe even closer than you think.”
Jaejoong watched him as he started walking again, sad and half afraid that he would walk into the water and never resurface. Only when Jin reached the shoreline and started strolling alongside it did he turn and make his way back to Yunho.
As soon as he reached Yunho, he threw his arms around him and buried his face in his neck.
Surprised and more than a little worried about what it meant, Yunho held him tightly.
Jaejoong said nothing for a long while, giving himself time to settle his thoughts and calm his heart. The guilt he felt would probably nag at him for a long time but that was just something he would have to deal with. All things considered, he’d gotten the long end of the stick.
Pulling back, he looked up into Yunho’s eyes, his expression earnest. “I need to tell you something.”
Yunho froze, bracing himself. Those words were always a harbinger of bad things.
“I should’ve done this ages ago but I didn’t. However, there’s no time like the present so…here goes.” He took a deep breath, his eyes boring into Yunho’s. “I love you. You’re the nicest, kindest, handsomest, sweetest, cutest, most considerate man, no, person, I’ve ever met. I love you, Jung Yunho. I just wanted you to know that.”
Yunho melted, everything inside of him going soft and mushy. He hadn’t realized how long he’d yearned to hear those words.
“I…”
Jae’s finger on his lips quieted him.
Smiling, Jae moved his finger and lovingly caressed Yunho’s cheek. “I know. You tell me every time you look at me and you show me in every thoughtful act, every gentle touch. I know.”
Leaning down, Yunho brushed his lips against Jae’s, settling them there when Jae opened for him. If he wouldn’t let him say it then he was determined to show just how much he loved him so there’d never be any doubt.
When the kiss ended, he drew back and rested his forehead against Jae’s, rubbing their noses together.
“What’s this?” Jaejoong asked curiously.
“Eskimo kiss,” Yunho replied, bright spots blooming in his cheeks.
Jaejoong laughed and reciprocated the sign of affection.
Yes, his Yunho was indeed the sweetest, cutest man there ever was.
As the two basked in their love, a pair of dark, haunted eyes watched them, feeling his heart shatter into a million pieces.
Four months later…
Jinyoung watched the couple as they made the rounds in the party.
It was a little soiree that Yunho had organized for them to celebrate their comeback. Anyone else may have been hesitant to display their obvious love in such a public way but those two weren’t and he couldn’t help but admire them for it. Plus, it was a private event. All of the attendees were company employees and cherished friends. No one would dare endanger outing the couple and risk either losing their jobs or losing favor with the IT couple - on the DL, of course - of the moment.
“You okay there boss?”
Jin turned to see Leo standing beside him.
Groaning, he muttered, “Don’t call me that.”
The Gentle Giant, as they referred to their six feet, three inches friend, only smiled. “Why not? It’s true.”
Sighing, Jin gulped the rest of his drink.
It had come as a surprise to all of them when, the week before their comeback, Jae announced that he was stepping down as leader, or rather, handing over the position to Jin.
“It was yours to begin with,” he’d said, “I only held onto it for you when you couldn’t. Now I think it should return to its rightful owner.”
It was thoughtful of him and he’d been touched, as he was by everything where Jae was concerned, but part of him wondered if Jae had done it out of pity. Even as he thought it, he knew it wasn’t true. Jae was kind and Jin could see in the regretful looks Jae often sent his way that he hadn’t forgotten that day at the beach, but Jae wouldn’t make him leader if he didn’t believe he was capable enough.
Over the months since, their relationship had changed. It wasn’t back to the easy camaraderie they’d shared before he fucked things up but it was marginally better than the tense, heavy atmosphere that had hung over them prior to their trip. Progress, he supposed.
His eyes focused on the couple again, catching them during a private moment when they were gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes and he suddenly found himself smiling. His love for Jae was still there, a soft echo now compared to the loud hammer it had once been, but he knew that Yunho was the one for Jae. Even if Jae had loved him back or given him the chance he’d so desperately wanted, he’d never have been able to make him as happy as Yunho obviously did.
“You’re empty,” Leo suggested. “Let’s get you another drink.
Jin smiled at his oldest and closest friend and turned to precede him to the bar, just missing the flicker of loving concern that flashed in the man’s eyes.
A/N: I finally get to write an A/N! I was dying, seriously. *hugs it* Anyway, a few things.
Firstly, I know this is supposed to be from Jae’s POV but since I am never revisiting this fic ever, ever again, I threw in Yunho’s and anyone else’s who mattered so that you’d have a more complete picture.
Secondly, if you couldn’t tell, I kinda fell in love with Jin while I was writing this. The tortured ones always get me. I wish he was a real person so I could write about him some more…unless I write an original fic or something. Oh well…
BONUS: Jin & Leo's story