Fate (Mirotic) Jaejoong's POV: Part 3
Title: Fate (Mirotic) Jaejoong's POV: Part 3
Author: VampireMadonna
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: NC-17
Synopsis: Jaejoong's life is...complicated. Still, he loves everything about it. But one day, he meets someone who throws a wrench in the wheels and makes his complicated life even more complex.
Yunho raised his hand to order another round, prompting Jae to say, “I think you’d better just get the bill. It’s almost 5:00am. Pretty soon the early-morning work crowd’s going to start heading out and you still have to get back and sneak into your hotel.”
When the waitress came Yunho requested the bill and went with her to settle it.
Jae finished off his soju, stood and slipped back into his sweatshirt, which he’d removed between clubs. He tied his hair into a ponytail again and pulled his hood back up, the chill of the early morning starting to seep into his bones. He yawned hugely, suddenly feeling the effects of his long day. It was a good thing they were heading home, he decided. He’d enjoyed his time with Yunho more than he’d expected to. It would’ve been nice to get to know him better if they’d had more time.
When Yunho returned, they started making their way down the street in silence. He glanced up at Yunho and noticed that his face had gone pale and he was a little green around the gills. Before he could ask him if he was okay, Yunho took off down a narrow side street. Following closely behind, he reached him just as he started vomiting up everything he’d eaten and drank. He’d always had an aversion to vomit since it made him feel like throwing up as well but he held his breath and patted Yunho’s back as dry heaves wracked his bent frame.
When the heaving had slowed a little, he said, “Stay here,” and ran down the block to the nearest drug store. He went straight to the in-store pharmacist and requested something for an upset stomach and vomiting. He took what the pharmacist held out to him and turned to walk back to the cashier. On the way, he stopped to grab a bottle of water from the cooler and his eyes fell to the shelves he passed further down the aisle. He paused. Without thinking too deeply about his reasons for doing so, he grabbed a box and a small bottle. When he placed his items on the counter, he saw the surprised look in the cashier’s eyes as it went back and forth between the bottle of lube and Jae’s face. The cashier was young, early twenties, so he could only imagine what he was thinking.
As soon as the bill was tallied, he paid, grabbed the bag, and walked out. Making his way back up the street, he found Yunho sitting on the ground closer to the mouth of the alley. He gave him the medication and the water and ordered him to stay still a while longer after taking it. When he was sure that he was steady again, he helped him up and they continued down the street to the main road to hail a taxi.
Shortly thereafter, they were melded together in the backseat and he assumed he’d drifted off because the next thing he knew, Yunho was waking him up.
“Wake up, baby.”
Baby?
He was standing on the sidewalk being supported by Yunho’s gentle hands. He could hear himself babbling but had no idea what he was saying because his brain was so foggy. He just wanted to go back to sleep.
He let Yunho lead while his mind cleared. When they stopped in the side alley of what was apparently Yunho’s hotel, he turned to the man in question.
“Is this how you escaped?” he asked.
He could see from Yunho’s expression that his casual words surprised him. Truthfully, he’d surprised himself as well. It hadn’t been a conscious decision, letting Yunho take him home. Even when he’d bought the condoms and the lube, he hadn’t decided whether or not he was truly going to go through with it. He’d been acting more on impulse than conscious thought.
Now, as Yunho fixed his clothes about him so that he would just be an anonymous figure accompanying Yunho into the hotel, he asked himself if he was really going to do it. Looking up into Yunho’s face, he decided that being impulsive wasn’t always such a bad thing. It felt good not to have to make decisions, to let someone else take the lead for a change.
Was he really going to go through with it?, he asked himself again.
Yes, I am.
Sometime later…
“Will I ever see you again?”
Would they?, he wondered.
Jae sighed and leaned back into the cushioned seat of yet another taxi. He was finally on his way home, ten hours after leaving his members, ten hours of which he’d spent almost the entirety with Jung Yunho. They’d had the kind of night that fangirls dreamt about and would give their limbs for. He didn’t think anyone would believe him even if he told them, not that he would. He didn’t care who Yunho was, didn’t care that he was famous. He’d spent the night with Jung Yunho the man, not the idol.
And what a night it had been.
He could still feel Yunho’s weight pressing down on him, the warmth of Yunho’s tongue rubbing erotically against his own while he thrust deep into his body. He hadn’t been physical with anyone for a long time and Yunho had definitely been the biggest, most attentive and thorough lover he’d ever had. He knew he’d given Yunho the impression that he’d had a lot of lovers but that was far from the truth. He’d only actually had sex with two people, although he didn’t really count the second one. The night with Jin was one he tried not to remember if it was at all possible. He’d met his first lover at a club when he was 17. They’d flirted, David had made all the right moves and after a while of playing hard to get, he’d given in to Dave’s desires and his own curiosity. They’d had a torrid, but extremely satisfying, six month affair until David started getting clingy and talking about their ‘future’. He’d had to cut him loose then. He was too young for that level of commitment.
His mind shifted back to Yunho. He knew in his heart that Yunho wasn’t the type to fuck around. Tonight probably meant the world to him. Hadn’t he tried to keep Jae with him? Fate, he’d said, had brought them together. He tried to think about it, what it would be like to be with Yunho, to really be with him. Their personalities seemed complementary and there was a lot they didn’t know about each other so they wouldn’t be bored, at least for a while. It might have worked…for other people, but not for them. Yunho was Yunho and he, Jae, was just starting his career. The timing couldn’t have been more wrong.
When the taxi pulled up in front of his house, he paid and jumped out, strolling across the yard sluggishly. He was so freaking tired. He started up the front steps but then detoured to the side of the house. He was way too exhausted to deal with his mother at the moment. He paused and looked up at JaeMi’s window. It was closed but would be unlocked, as it always was. Her window was his route into the house whenever he came home late. After the third time he’d woken her to open the window for him, she’d decided to stop locking it altogether. He didn’t like it, argued that it put her at risk for burglars but she said at least that way if anyone, him or a thief, came into the house through her window, they could go about their business without disturbing her sleep. His sister had her priorities, he thought with a smile.
It took him fifteen seconds to climb the short trellis up to the window, open it and heave himself inside. He closed and locked the window behind him.
Turning around, his eyes fell to his beautiful sister, sleeping serenely and totally unaware of her visitor. He walked to the side of the bed, removed his sweatshirt, kicked off his shoes, then pulled back the covers and slid in beside her.
“Move over,” he grunted, gently pushing against her to make more room for himself on her single-sized mattress. He turned over onto his side, facing her, closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep.
“Oppa…”
Her voice was soft, groggy. He regretted waking her up so he didn’t reply, hoping she’d go back to sleep if she thought he was sleeping.
“Oppa?” she called again.
“Mmm?”
“How come you’re so late?”
“I went out with a friend,” he said casually.
“A boy friend?”
“A friend who is a boy, yes.”
“Is he cute?”
He paused. “You would like him, yes.” He couldn’t help but laugh internally at how much of an understatement that was.
“Oppa… You smell funny.”
His eyes snapped open. He’d showered…well, he’d been bathed several times so he knew he didn’t smell of sex or Yunho, just Yunho’s soap and shampoo.
“Funny?”
“Nice,” she amended. “Sweet. Did you bathe when you were with your friend?”
“Um…yes. Go back to sleep,” he ordered, cutting off further questions.
He closed his eyes to dissuade her in case she decided to disobey him. Five seconds later, it seemed that she hadn’t gotten the hint.
“Oppa… You should get a boyfriend.”
He sighed. “Why?”
“So you won’t be lonely anymore,” she said simply.
Jae opened his eyes again and saw the sincerity in her young, innocent gaze.
“I’m not lonely.” He smiled. “How can I be when I have you?
JaeMi grinned, her pale cheeks flushing.
“Oppa, you know… I know Yunho oppa can never marry me.”
Jae’s brows rose in surprise at the sudden topic change. “Why not?”
“Because he’s like you.”
Well, he couldn’t deny that fact. At least she was mature enough to understand what homosexuality was and how it worked.
“That’s true.”
“Oppa… Since I can’t be with Yunho oppa, I wouldn’t mind if you were. You’re the only one I would give him to.”
Jae was at a loss for words.
“You’re so pretty,” she continued, “and he’s very handsome and manly. You would look really good together.”
“Would we?” he asked hoarsely.
She nodded, then smiled. “And Yunho oppa wouldn’t be lonely anymore because he would have you and you wouldn’t be lonely because you would have him. You would have each other. It would be perfect, like a fairytale. You would be the Princess and he would be the Prince.”
JaeMi, he knew, would be his biggest fangirl for life, even more so if she ever found out about the night he’d shared with Yunho. Maybe one day, when she was older, he would let her in on his secret.
“Hey!” He pinched her teasingly beneath the covers. “Why do I have to be the Princess?”
She laughed gaily. “Because you’re the beautiful one, duh. Even your hair is pretty, like the fairytale princesses. You would live happily ever after with Yunho oppa.”
“We would, huh?”
She nodded.
Jae leaned over and kissed the top of her head, wrapping an arm around her and holding her close.
“Maybe you’re right. Why don’t you dream about it and let me know what happens, okay?”
He felt her nod and she said nothing more after that.
Gathering her close, Jae closed his eyes and set off on some dreams of his own featuring a tall, handsome singer with kind eyes and a sweet smile.
He heard the door open and close then felt the bed dip under the weight of the body that sat by his feet. He immediately knew that it wasn’t JaeMi.
Turning onto his back, he threw a hand across his eyes to block out the sunlight streaming through the adjacent window and looked down at his visitor to see who it was.
“What are you doing here?”
“You said you would come over to my house but…you never showed,” Jin replied.
Jae sat up, letting the blanket fall to his waist as he leaned against the headboard.
“I thought you said you were afraid to come here because my mom doesn’t like you?”
Jin shrugged. “I waited until she left. I hung around outside and kept an eye on the house from a distance until I saw her leave.”
Jae rolled his eyes. “Stalker…”
“I had to talk to you. I…”
Jin’s voice trailed off, his eyes flitting down the pale expanse of Jae’s chest and stomach, reminding him that he’d removed his clothes when JaeMi had finally left the room.
“You didn’t go straight home last night, did you?” Jin suddenly asked, a vein ticking in his jaw.
Jae cocked a brow. “No. Why?”
“Where did you go?”
His brows furrowed this time. “Out.”
“Who were you with?”
Jae’s jaw clenched. “What’s with the third degree?”
“Don’t tell me you were alone…” Jin reached a hand out, trailing tender fingers down the column of Jae’s neck to his clavicle. “I know you weren’t.”
Seeing the flash of pain in Jin’s eyes and connecting it to where his fingertips touched, Jae finally remembered the lovebites that Yunho had left on his neck, evidence of their night together.
He gently gripped Jin’s arm and moved it aside, letting go when Jin pulled his hand away.
Jin looked down at his hands, saying nothing for so long that Jae’s nerves were on edge.
“Jin…”
“Who is he?” Jin asked softly.
“No one,” Jae replied. He wasn’t going to breathe a word about what happened between him and Yunho. He owed Jin nothing, he had no reason to feel guilty. He hadn’t betrayed him.
“Are you together now? Do you love him?”
Sighing in exasperation, Jae ran a frustrated hand through his loose, blond tresses.
“Why are you doing this to yourself?” he asked sadly, repeating his earlier question, a question he’d asked a million times.
The answer was always the same. “Because I love you,” Jin replied plainly, looking into his eyes.
His eyes were open, honest, but Jae never believed his words.
“No, you don’t. You only think you do, but you don’t. You have no idea what love is.”
Jin shook his head adamantly, grabbing Jae’s hands. “I do love you. I know that I’m not…”
“Gay,” Jae supplied.
“…knowledgeable,” Jin continued, “or experienced but if you’d just give me a chance to…”
“To what?” Jae snatched his hands away. “To gather enough courage to force yourself to have sex with me? Nuh-uh. Been down that road already, baby, and we’re never going back.”
Jin blushed. “I was drunk last time. I couldn’t…”
Jae laughed. “Being drunk was the only reason you were brave enough to even try. If you were stone cold sober, you never would’ve had the balls.”
Jin’s color deepened. “That’s not true.”
Jae cocked a brow. “Oh, really?” He kicked the covers all the way off, revealing his lower body and his only article of clothing: briefs. “You’re sober now right? You love me, want to be with me, right? Well, here’s your chance.” He leaned back against the headboard, crossing his arms behind his head, smiling wickedly. “Have your way with me.”
He watched Jin turn red as a tomato, his hands clenching where they lay. He wouldn’t look at Jae, kept his eyes purposefully low and off to the side.
Sighing tiredly, Jae leaned forward and placed his hands on Jin’s shoulders, turning him to face him.
“Look at me,” he ordered gently.
Jin’s eyes raised to Jae’s.
“It’s time to stop this. Stop torturing yourself like this,” Jae said softly. “You’re my friend and I love you but only as a friend, just like you do me.”
“But…”
Jae shook his head, shook Jin’s shoulders. “No buts. Just stop. Before you do irreparable damage to us, to the group, just stop. Now. Please,” he begged.
He saw the resistance in Jin’s eyes, could predict the words that were about to come out of his mouth.
“Please, Jin. If you really love me, then just let us be. I love you but friendship is all I have to give. You can either accept that or…” He trailed off but the meaning implied in his words came across clearly to Jin if his wide, fearful eyes were any indication.
“I don’t want to lose you,” Jae whispered.
Jin shook his head and Jae could see tears sparkle in his eyes. “Okay,” he said softly.
“Promise?”
Jin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Promise.”
Author: VampireMadonna
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: NC-17
Synopsis: Jaejoong's life is...complicated. Still, he loves everything about it. But one day, he meets someone who throws a wrench in the wheels and makes his complicated life even more complex.
Yunho raised his hand to order another round, prompting Jae to say, “I think you’d better just get the bill. It’s almost 5:00am. Pretty soon the early-morning work crowd’s going to start heading out and you still have to get back and sneak into your hotel.”
When the waitress came Yunho requested the bill and went with her to settle it.
Jae finished off his soju, stood and slipped back into his sweatshirt, which he’d removed between clubs. He tied his hair into a ponytail again and pulled his hood back up, the chill of the early morning starting to seep into his bones. He yawned hugely, suddenly feeling the effects of his long day. It was a good thing they were heading home, he decided. He’d enjoyed his time with Yunho more than he’d expected to. It would’ve been nice to get to know him better if they’d had more time.
When Yunho returned, they started making their way down the street in silence. He glanced up at Yunho and noticed that his face had gone pale and he was a little green around the gills. Before he could ask him if he was okay, Yunho took off down a narrow side street. Following closely behind, he reached him just as he started vomiting up everything he’d eaten and drank. He’d always had an aversion to vomit since it made him feel like throwing up as well but he held his breath and patted Yunho’s back as dry heaves wracked his bent frame.
When the heaving had slowed a little, he said, “Stay here,” and ran down the block to the nearest drug store. He went straight to the in-store pharmacist and requested something for an upset stomach and vomiting. He took what the pharmacist held out to him and turned to walk back to the cashier. On the way, he stopped to grab a bottle of water from the cooler and his eyes fell to the shelves he passed further down the aisle. He paused. Without thinking too deeply about his reasons for doing so, he grabbed a box and a small bottle. When he placed his items on the counter, he saw the surprised look in the cashier’s eyes as it went back and forth between the bottle of lube and Jae’s face. The cashier was young, early twenties, so he could only imagine what he was thinking.
As soon as the bill was tallied, he paid, grabbed the bag, and walked out. Making his way back up the street, he found Yunho sitting on the ground closer to the mouth of the alley. He gave him the medication and the water and ordered him to stay still a while longer after taking it. When he was sure that he was steady again, he helped him up and they continued down the street to the main road to hail a taxi.
Shortly thereafter, they were melded together in the backseat and he assumed he’d drifted off because the next thing he knew, Yunho was waking him up.
“Wake up, baby.”
Baby?
He was standing on the sidewalk being supported by Yunho’s gentle hands. He could hear himself babbling but had no idea what he was saying because his brain was so foggy. He just wanted to go back to sleep.
He let Yunho lead while his mind cleared. When they stopped in the side alley of what was apparently Yunho’s hotel, he turned to the man in question.
“Is this how you escaped?” he asked.
He could see from Yunho’s expression that his casual words surprised him. Truthfully, he’d surprised himself as well. It hadn’t been a conscious decision, letting Yunho take him home. Even when he’d bought the condoms and the lube, he hadn’t decided whether or not he was truly going to go through with it. He’d been acting more on impulse than conscious thought.
Now, as Yunho fixed his clothes about him so that he would just be an anonymous figure accompanying Yunho into the hotel, he asked himself if he was really going to do it. Looking up into Yunho’s face, he decided that being impulsive wasn’t always such a bad thing. It felt good not to have to make decisions, to let someone else take the lead for a change.
Was he really going to go through with it?, he asked himself again.
Yes, I am.
Sometime later…
“Will I ever see you again?”
Would they?, he wondered.
Jae sighed and leaned back into the cushioned seat of yet another taxi. He was finally on his way home, ten hours after leaving his members, ten hours of which he’d spent almost the entirety with Jung Yunho. They’d had the kind of night that fangirls dreamt about and would give their limbs for. He didn’t think anyone would believe him even if he told them, not that he would. He didn’t care who Yunho was, didn’t care that he was famous. He’d spent the night with Jung Yunho the man, not the idol.
And what a night it had been.
He could still feel Yunho’s weight pressing down on him, the warmth of Yunho’s tongue rubbing erotically against his own while he thrust deep into his body. He hadn’t been physical with anyone for a long time and Yunho had definitely been the biggest, most attentive and thorough lover he’d ever had. He knew he’d given Yunho the impression that he’d had a lot of lovers but that was far from the truth. He’d only actually had sex with two people, although he didn’t really count the second one. The night with Jin was one he tried not to remember if it was at all possible. He’d met his first lover at a club when he was 17. They’d flirted, David had made all the right moves and after a while of playing hard to get, he’d given in to Dave’s desires and his own curiosity. They’d had a torrid, but extremely satisfying, six month affair until David started getting clingy and talking about their ‘future’. He’d had to cut him loose then. He was too young for that level of commitment.
His mind shifted back to Yunho. He knew in his heart that Yunho wasn’t the type to fuck around. Tonight probably meant the world to him. Hadn’t he tried to keep Jae with him? Fate, he’d said, had brought them together. He tried to think about it, what it would be like to be with Yunho, to really be with him. Their personalities seemed complementary and there was a lot they didn’t know about each other so they wouldn’t be bored, at least for a while. It might have worked…for other people, but not for them. Yunho was Yunho and he, Jae, was just starting his career. The timing couldn’t have been more wrong.
When the taxi pulled up in front of his house, he paid and jumped out, strolling across the yard sluggishly. He was so freaking tired. He started up the front steps but then detoured to the side of the house. He was way too exhausted to deal with his mother at the moment. He paused and looked up at JaeMi’s window. It was closed but would be unlocked, as it always was. Her window was his route into the house whenever he came home late. After the third time he’d woken her to open the window for him, she’d decided to stop locking it altogether. He didn’t like it, argued that it put her at risk for burglars but she said at least that way if anyone, him or a thief, came into the house through her window, they could go about their business without disturbing her sleep. His sister had her priorities, he thought with a smile.
It took him fifteen seconds to climb the short trellis up to the window, open it and heave himself inside. He closed and locked the window behind him.
Turning around, his eyes fell to his beautiful sister, sleeping serenely and totally unaware of her visitor. He walked to the side of the bed, removed his sweatshirt, kicked off his shoes, then pulled back the covers and slid in beside her.
“Move over,” he grunted, gently pushing against her to make more room for himself on her single-sized mattress. He turned over onto his side, facing her, closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep.
“Oppa…”
Her voice was soft, groggy. He regretted waking her up so he didn’t reply, hoping she’d go back to sleep if she thought he was sleeping.
“Oppa?” she called again.
“Mmm?”
“How come you’re so late?”
“I went out with a friend,” he said casually.
“A boy friend?”
“A friend who is a boy, yes.”
“Is he cute?”
He paused. “You would like him, yes.” He couldn’t help but laugh internally at how much of an understatement that was.
“Oppa… You smell funny.”
His eyes snapped open. He’d showered…well, he’d been bathed several times so he knew he didn’t smell of sex or Yunho, just Yunho’s soap and shampoo.
“Funny?”
“Nice,” she amended. “Sweet. Did you bathe when you were with your friend?”
“Um…yes. Go back to sleep,” he ordered, cutting off further questions.
He closed his eyes to dissuade her in case she decided to disobey him. Five seconds later, it seemed that she hadn’t gotten the hint.
“Oppa… You should get a boyfriend.”
He sighed. “Why?”
“So you won’t be lonely anymore,” she said simply.
Jae opened his eyes again and saw the sincerity in her young, innocent gaze.
“I’m not lonely.” He smiled. “How can I be when I have you?
JaeMi grinned, her pale cheeks flushing.
“Oppa, you know… I know Yunho oppa can never marry me.”
Jae’s brows rose in surprise at the sudden topic change. “Why not?”
“Because he’s like you.”
Well, he couldn’t deny that fact. At least she was mature enough to understand what homosexuality was and how it worked.
“That’s true.”
“Oppa… Since I can’t be with Yunho oppa, I wouldn’t mind if you were. You’re the only one I would give him to.”
Jae was at a loss for words.
“You’re so pretty,” she continued, “and he’s very handsome and manly. You would look really good together.”
“Would we?” he asked hoarsely.
She nodded, then smiled. “And Yunho oppa wouldn’t be lonely anymore because he would have you and you wouldn’t be lonely because you would have him. You would have each other. It would be perfect, like a fairytale. You would be the Princess and he would be the Prince.”
JaeMi, he knew, would be his biggest fangirl for life, even more so if she ever found out about the night he’d shared with Yunho. Maybe one day, when she was older, he would let her in on his secret.
“Hey!” He pinched her teasingly beneath the covers. “Why do I have to be the Princess?”
She laughed gaily. “Because you’re the beautiful one, duh. Even your hair is pretty, like the fairytale princesses. You would live happily ever after with Yunho oppa.”
“We would, huh?”
She nodded.
Jae leaned over and kissed the top of her head, wrapping an arm around her and holding her close.
“Maybe you’re right. Why don’t you dream about it and let me know what happens, okay?”
He felt her nod and she said nothing more after that.
Gathering her close, Jae closed his eyes and set off on some dreams of his own featuring a tall, handsome singer with kind eyes and a sweet smile.
He heard the door open and close then felt the bed dip under the weight of the body that sat by his feet. He immediately knew that it wasn’t JaeMi.
Turning onto his back, he threw a hand across his eyes to block out the sunlight streaming through the adjacent window and looked down at his visitor to see who it was.
“What are you doing here?”
“You said you would come over to my house but…you never showed,” Jin replied.
Jae sat up, letting the blanket fall to his waist as he leaned against the headboard.
“I thought you said you were afraid to come here because my mom doesn’t like you?”
Jin shrugged. “I waited until she left. I hung around outside and kept an eye on the house from a distance until I saw her leave.”
Jae rolled his eyes. “Stalker…”
“I had to talk to you. I…”
Jin’s voice trailed off, his eyes flitting down the pale expanse of Jae’s chest and stomach, reminding him that he’d removed his clothes when JaeMi had finally left the room.
“You didn’t go straight home last night, did you?” Jin suddenly asked, a vein ticking in his jaw.
Jae cocked a brow. “No. Why?”
“Where did you go?”
His brows furrowed this time. “Out.”
“Who were you with?”
Jae’s jaw clenched. “What’s with the third degree?”
“Don’t tell me you were alone…” Jin reached a hand out, trailing tender fingers down the column of Jae’s neck to his clavicle. “I know you weren’t.”
Seeing the flash of pain in Jin’s eyes and connecting it to where his fingertips touched, Jae finally remembered the lovebites that Yunho had left on his neck, evidence of their night together.
He gently gripped Jin’s arm and moved it aside, letting go when Jin pulled his hand away.
Jin looked down at his hands, saying nothing for so long that Jae’s nerves were on edge.
“Jin…”
“Who is he?” Jin asked softly.
“No one,” Jae replied. He wasn’t going to breathe a word about what happened between him and Yunho. He owed Jin nothing, he had no reason to feel guilty. He hadn’t betrayed him.
“Are you together now? Do you love him?”
Sighing in exasperation, Jae ran a frustrated hand through his loose, blond tresses.
“Why are you doing this to yourself?” he asked sadly, repeating his earlier question, a question he’d asked a million times.
The answer was always the same. “Because I love you,” Jin replied plainly, looking into his eyes.
His eyes were open, honest, but Jae never believed his words.
“No, you don’t. You only think you do, but you don’t. You have no idea what love is.”
Jin shook his head adamantly, grabbing Jae’s hands. “I do love you. I know that I’m not…”
“Gay,” Jae supplied.
“…knowledgeable,” Jin continued, “or experienced but if you’d just give me a chance to…”
“To what?” Jae snatched his hands away. “To gather enough courage to force yourself to have sex with me? Nuh-uh. Been down that road already, baby, and we’re never going back.”
Jin blushed. “I was drunk last time. I couldn’t…”
Jae laughed. “Being drunk was the only reason you were brave enough to even try. If you were stone cold sober, you never would’ve had the balls.”
Jin’s color deepened. “That’s not true.”
Jae cocked a brow. “Oh, really?” He kicked the covers all the way off, revealing his lower body and his only article of clothing: briefs. “You’re sober now right? You love me, want to be with me, right? Well, here’s your chance.” He leaned back against the headboard, crossing his arms behind his head, smiling wickedly. “Have your way with me.”
He watched Jin turn red as a tomato, his hands clenching where they lay. He wouldn’t look at Jae, kept his eyes purposefully low and off to the side.
Sighing tiredly, Jae leaned forward and placed his hands on Jin’s shoulders, turning him to face him.
“Look at me,” he ordered gently.
Jin’s eyes raised to Jae’s.
“It’s time to stop this. Stop torturing yourself like this,” Jae said softly. “You’re my friend and I love you but only as a friend, just like you do me.”
“But…”
Jae shook his head, shook Jin’s shoulders. “No buts. Just stop. Before you do irreparable damage to us, to the group, just stop. Now. Please,” he begged.
He saw the resistance in Jin’s eyes, could predict the words that were about to come out of his mouth.
“Please, Jin. If you really love me, then just let us be. I love you but friendship is all I have to give. You can either accept that or…” He trailed off but the meaning implied in his words came across clearly to Jin if his wide, fearful eyes were any indication.
“I don’t want to lose you,” Jae whispered.
Jin shook his head and Jae could see tears sparkle in his eyes. “Okay,” he said softly.
“Promise?”
Jin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Promise.”