Forbidden: Part 8
Title: Forbidden
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: PG-13 - R
Length: Part 8/? (It's a LONG short story)
Summary: Jae is concerned about the attention his sister is receiving from a dangerous man but he isn't in any position to take care of it himself so he turns to the king. However, the King, Jung Yunho, presents unforeseen complications...
Jae stared out across the lake and tried not to think about it. It did no good to think about, to regret it, to kick, scream and shout at it, to want things to be different. From that very first day, he’d played his part and now, there was no going back.
He dropped back onto the grass and stared up at the stars.
He’d been spending a lot of time in his favorite spot lately… He was starting to hate it, to resent what it stood for. Ever since that night, he’d spent at least one night a week there, lying on the grass staring up at the stars. When he’d returned to his room that first night, he’d felt sick to his stomach. His steps had been slow, his hands clammy, he knew he was probably pale as a ghost. He’d paused outside his room for a full five minutes before he’d gone in. He knew she’d be gone, she was a woman of her word, but he knew that Yunho wouldn’t be. He’d be there, waiting. Jae wasn’t sure he wanted him to be. He wanted to curl up under the covers, close his eyes tightly and pretend none of it had ever happened. But just knowing what had happened in his room, on his bed, would probably be enough to keep him awake. Taking a deep breath, he’d pushed open the door.
His steps were slow as he made his way across the room. Yunho was there on the bed, waiting, as he’d known he would be. Jae had a fleeting moment of panic, squashed down the urge to bolt. He didn’t know why he felt that way. He wasn’t mad at Yunho, not at all. If anything, he wondered if Yunho would be angry with him. His leaving had been the final nail in the coffin and he’d done so without talking to Yunho first. But he couldn’t. Yunho would never have done it if he’d been there. He would see it as a betrayal and Jae knew it needed to be done. None of them liked the situation, how could they possibly? But it didn’t change the fact that it existed. They all had their part to play. By leaving, he’d served his King, his Queen and his kingdom.
Then why does it hurt so bad?
He hadn’t met Yunho’s eyes yet, afraid of what he’d see: anger, hatred, betrayal, or worse. Taking a deep breath, he raised his gaze to Yunho’s. And stopped in his tracks.
Yunho kneeled in the middle of the bed, his sleeping robe parted exposing his chest and stomach to the waist. His eyes were sad, uncertain. Instead of the revulsion he’d feared, Yunho’s eyes reflected sorrow and heartache, self-disgust and loathing. Jae knew they were for him, always for him. Yunho had been worried about the same things he’d been. How similar they were, he thought.
Suddenly, a strange calm settled upon him. They were both guilty, yet both innocent. Both had done things that neither had wanted to do but needed to for the greater good. So far, Yunho had been the one looking after him, seeing to his needs, protecting him. That night marked a turning of the tides. He didn’t know what they were, was still confused about what he knew as opposed to what Yunho made him feel, but none of that mattered at the moment. From now on, he would protect Yunho too, support him in a way that only he could. Unlike him, he knew that Yunho was sure of his feelings. It might take him some time to get used to, to accept, but he made a promise to himself then and there that he wouldn’t let the situation with the Queen affect them.
He started walking again, his steps still slow. He smiled, though, and hoped that Yunho felt his sincerity and knew that he didn’t judge him.
Yunho’s lips tilted in an answering smile, though his eyes were still uncertain. When he opened his arms to Jae, Jae rushed to him. Yunho’s lips were on his as soon as his arms wrapped around him. He held him so tightly, kissed him so desperately that Jae felt like he was having the life squeezed and sucked out of him. He wanted to pull back and ask Yunho what he was thinking, feeling, to soothe his obviously ruffled nerves. But then Yunho had touched him, his hands gentle and loving, and his mind went completely blank.
After that night, they returned to their usual schedule. Until the notes started coming.
Yunho spent every day with Lord Yoo for the week he’d been there and every night making love to Jae. Three days after the night of the festival, a note had arrived. It had been one of Yunho’s free afternoons and Jae was reading to him, feeding him grapes, when MinWoo knocked and brought it to them. Yunho’s face had hardened as soon as he’d read it. He started to tear it but Jae snatched it from him. He’d glanced down at the plain piece of paper and the one word, written in neat, elegant script, had set his stomach churning.
Tonight.
They both knew what it meant, who it was from. Neither of them said anything, they just looked at each other. Then Jae caught himself, forced his hand to pick up the fork, spear another grape and held it out to Yunho. Yunho’s eyes widened in surprise. He opened his mouth to say something but Jae moved his hand closer. He would honor his promise to himself. No matter how hard it was, no matter how much it hurt, he’d see to it that Yunho did what he had to do. He wouldn’t let him use him (Jae) as an excuse.
Seeing the determination in Jae’s eyes, Yunho took the grape.
Thus began Jae's nightly visits to his tree.
It had been one night that first week, the night of the festival not withstanding, then two the next. They never talked about it. Once the note came, Jae made himself scarce at night. He didn’t actually need to leave his room since, other than the first occasion, Yunho and the Queen always met in the King’s chambers, but it was better for both of them. He couldn’t be in his room knowing what was happening on the other side and he knew that it was easier for Yunho if he wasn’t so close nearby. When Jae returned to his room after the hour, Yunho would always be there. They would undress and go to bed. Sometimes Yunho made love to him, his touch and kisses urgent just like they had been that first night, but mostly he just held him tightly. It always took them a while to fall asleep on those nights but the next day, they’d awaken and it would be like nothing had happened. The memory faded with the dark of night.
By the third week, the arrival of the note was expected but it never ceased to make Jae’s blood run cold. Yunho dropped the note on the table without reading it, assuming what it said. The Queen always simply wrote “Tonight.” Just to be sure, Jae had picked it up and opened it. He gasped and his heart sank.
“It is with sincere regret that I inform you that we have not conceived, my lord. I am sorry to have to inconvenience you further but we all know what this means.”
Yes, they’d known what it meant. Jae had wanted to say something encouraging and supportive to Yunho when he’d seen the crestfallen look on his face. But no words would come because he too wanted to cry. Why must life be so cruel?
Now, a week later, the note had arrived in the early afternoon. They’d been expecting it so it didn’t come as a surprise yet he suspected that they’d both been hoping that there was a mistake, somehow. Sadly, luck wasn’t on their side.
He was so lost in thought that he hadn’t heard the lone figure approach, not that he would have anyway. He’d been trained to be as silent and stealthy as a cobra. He looked down at the young boy, too beautiful for his own good, and his heart hurt knowing what he was about to ask him to do.
He stepped out of the shadows in front of the boy, waited while he jumped in surprise then settled. His voice, when he spoke, was grave.
“He needs you.”
Jae stood outside of the King’s chambers, wondering what lay beyond. The hour wasn’t up yet. What exactly did that mean? He’d asked JunYoung but he wouldn’t tell him. All he would say was that Yunho had sent for him.
Was the Queen still there? Had he sent her away?
Jae closed his eyes and took a deep breath, ignoring the sympathetic looks that the two guards sent his way. He placed his hand on the gold door-handle and pushed.
As soon as he walked in, he got the answer to his question.
She was still there, standing silently at the side of the bed, dressed in her sleeping clothes. She didn’t look up at him as he entered, her eyes instead remained steady on the man sitting on the bed, shoulders bowed, face in his hands.
What had happened?, he wondered.
“Yunho…” he said tentatively as he drew closer, the Queen stepping back to give him room.
He’d no sooner spoken than Yunho’s arms grabbed for him, pulling him close as he buried his face in his stomach.
“I can’t do it,” he cried brokenly. “I can’t do it anymore.”
Jae brought his hands up, one hand gently rubbing Yunho’s back while the other caressed his hair. He closed his eyes against the flood of tears that filled them. He wasn’t completely surprised that they’d come to this. It was obvious that being with the Queen wasn’t natural to Yunho. It was a miracle that he’d managed so far.
“It’s okay,” he whispered soothingly. He could feel the Queen’s eyes boring into his back but he wouldn’t look at her. Let her think what she wanted. This wasn’t about her, it was about Yunho.
Yunho raised his head, his wet, tortured eyes meeting Jae’s. “I can’t do this without you,” he said, lifting his hands to cup Jae’s face. “I need you.”
Jae was just beginning to ponder what exactly that meant when Yunho pulled him down so their lips met. He made no pretense of foreplay but instead boldly thrust his tongue into Jae’s mouth. He didn’t have to wonder if that mouth and that tongue had just been used on the Queen: he knew Yunho would never kiss her. His hands tightened where they lay when Yunho started stroking his tongue with his own. It was a move that always sent tremors of heat up and down his spine.
Before he knew it, Yunho had him on his back on the bed, his lips moving down his neck, his chest, following in the wake of the hands that parted his robes and tugged at his pants. He arched and cried out when Yunho took him in his mouth. He squeezed his eyes shut, blocking out everything except the sensations coursing through his veins. His hand rested on Yunho’s hair, threading gently as his hips undulated in tandem with Yunho’s mouth. His breathing quickened, his hips jerked faster, hand tightening as he held on for dear life. He was reaching, reaching for the last stroke of pleasure that would send him over the edge…and then he was flying, soaring through the sky so high, like Icarus, that he thought the heat flaming his skin would surely consume him.
Yunho put Jae’s clothes back into place, raised up and looked at Jae, taking in his heaving chest, the flush of color beneath his smooth, pale skin, the remnants of ecstasy that were still visible on his face, and thought that he had never been more beautiful. He leaned down and kissed him tenderly on the lips before rolling to the side. Pulling his pants off his hips to reveal the throbbing erection hidden beneath, he looked up at the Queen and with a voice as cold and distant as his eyes, said,
“Make haste, madam, for this is the last chance you’ll have.”
The Queen gasped, eyes wide with shock. Looking at Yunho laid back against the pillows, tanned, toned skin exposed, his manhood standing proud and angry, she felt the first stirrings of carnal desire. While she’d watched them, watched Yunho drown his savage need for the boy in his pale, nubile flesh, so like a young girl’s that she had to wonder if Yunho really didn’t like women, instead of feeling disgust as any normal person would have, she’d been jealous. Yunho was lost to her, she knew that, but she wondered if anyone would ever want her, need her, love her, the way he wanted, needed and loved Jae. Divorce wasn’t an option and she would never wish death upon Yunho. Despite their complex relationship, she really did care for him. She would have to take a lover…but doing so would be risky and the thought saddened her deeply because she’d always hoped that unlike most women in her position, the wives of important men, she would be one of the lucky few to have her lover and her husband be the same person.
But it wasn’t meant to be.
Raising her skirts, she climbed on top of him, straddled his hips, and told herself to make the best of it.
Jae didn’t realize what was happening next to him at first. He’d felt Yunho roll off, heard him speak but the pounding of the blood in his head had been too loud and his words didn’t register. It was only when he opened his eyes and saw the Queen on Yunho, her body moving up and down in a rhythm that he recognized, that he realized what Yunho had meant when he’d said he “needed” him. He stared up at the ceiling, a cloying sickness sliding around in his stomach and making him feel like he wanted to vomit. Yunho had used him. He understood it, accepted it, but it didn’t stop his skin from crawling. He couldn’t blame him, though. He’d seen the shadows in Yunho’s eyes when he’d walked into the room, knew that without his presence, Yunho would never have been able to get the job done.
But still, it hurt.
What bothered him most wasn’t that Yunho had used him but that he’d had to resort to such lengths. It shouldn’t be so difficult. Why did they all have to suffer so? Had they committed unimaginable, unforgivable sins in their former lives?
Just then, Yunho took his hand. He knew that he watched him, felt his intense gaze on the side of his face. He wanted to meet his eyes but he couldn’t. He couldn’t bare to see the Queen again, even in his peripheral vision, knowing exactly what she was doing. But he squeezed Yunho’s hand to let him know that they were in this together.
He focused on the ceiling but try as he might, he couldn’t block out the sounds and scents: the heavy musk of sweat and the slap of flesh against flesh. He thought about how the Queen must have felt, watching them as Yunho pleasured him, and sympathized with her. Maybe he should watch them, he told himself. What they were doing was the natural, church sanctioned way of copulating. He and Yunho were the unnatural ones. Maybe watching them would finally make common sense prevail upon him and put an end to behaviour that was sure to ruin them both.
Jae heard Yunho’s breath catch, then the Queen’s loud cry echoed throughout the room. His hand unconsciously tried to pull away from Yunho's but he held onto him tightly, refusing to break contact. No words were spoken in the aftermath. There was a lot of heavy breathing and shifting as clothes were returned to order. He felt the mattress dip then the soft sound of footsteps, the quiet swish of the door sliding open then shut.
He still didn’t move, couldn’t, just continued to contemplate the ceiling. Yunho rolled towards him, slid on top of him and buried his face in his neck. He stayed that way for long minutes, his breathing still shallow.
“Do you hate me?” he asked, finally breaking the silence.
Do I?, Jae wondered.
Even as he asked himself the question, he knew the answer.
He raised his hands, tracing circles on Yunho’s back with one while the other gently stroked his hair, just like he had when he’d first come into the room.
“I could never hate you,” he whispered, though there were tears in his eyes.
Jae felt wetness on his skin and held him tight as quiet sobs shook his frame.
“I won’t ever do it again,” Yunho swore.
“Alright,” Jae crooned soothingly.
Jae laid his cheek on top of Yunho’s head, his arms tightening around him, and spoke soft words of comfort. He wouldn’t force him, couldn’t bear to put either of them through it anymore, and have Yunho, his proud, handsome, smiling Yunho, reduced to this quivering shell of a man again.
JiHye lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. She was restless and she couldn’t figure out why.
It had been a wonderful day. TaeHun had taken her riding, just on the outskirts of the village. The sun had been high in the sky, the breeze cool. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. She always exuded self-confidence and teased him mercilessly but the truth was, his unflinching adoration and attention embarrassed her. In a good way. Whenever he paid her compliments, she’d have to turn away to hide the flush in her cheeks before she turned back to him with some witty comment or other. She loved when he blushed. It was so cute and endearing. Plus, he was the only man she knew who blushed. Besides her brother, of course. He suffered the same unfortunate effects of their fair coloring.
Her brother…
She made a mental note to talk to Jae tomorrow. Something was up with him. Besides the obvious, that is, the situation with him and the King. It was so unreal, she couldn’t wrap her mind around it. He seemed both happy and troubled at the same time. He was probably keeping her awake, she thought, glaring at the ceiling. There was a strange heaviness in the middle of her chest in the region of her heart. Rubbing the spot, she shook her head at the strangeness of the twin bond.
Her thoughts broke off at the sudden knock on her door.
Kicking the covers aside, she walked to the door and opened it. She poked her head out and saw no one. She stepped out and her something sharp stuck the bottom of her foot.
“Ow!” she yelped.
Looking down, she gasped when her eyes fell on the single, red rose, the thorny stem of which was encased in a plain piece of paper. Bending down, she picked up the rose and unrolled the paper.
“Meet me in the stables. T.H.”
There was a crude drawing of a heart at the end of the single sentence. It was the most adorable thing she’d ever seen. Laughing to herself, her earlier dilemma forgotten, she stepped back into her room and went to get ready.
A/N: Two updates in one day! Don't you love me? *coughs, chokes, keels over* Vanity kills... :(
Part IX
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: PG-13 - R
Length: Part 8/? (It's a LONG short story)
Summary: Jae is concerned about the attention his sister is receiving from a dangerous man but he isn't in any position to take care of it himself so he turns to the king. However, the King, Jung Yunho, presents unforeseen complications...
Jae stared out across the lake and tried not to think about it. It did no good to think about, to regret it, to kick, scream and shout at it, to want things to be different. From that very first day, he’d played his part and now, there was no going back.
He dropped back onto the grass and stared up at the stars.
He’d been spending a lot of time in his favorite spot lately… He was starting to hate it, to resent what it stood for. Ever since that night, he’d spent at least one night a week there, lying on the grass staring up at the stars. When he’d returned to his room that first night, he’d felt sick to his stomach. His steps had been slow, his hands clammy, he knew he was probably pale as a ghost. He’d paused outside his room for a full five minutes before he’d gone in. He knew she’d be gone, she was a woman of her word, but he knew that Yunho wouldn’t be. He’d be there, waiting. Jae wasn’t sure he wanted him to be. He wanted to curl up under the covers, close his eyes tightly and pretend none of it had ever happened. But just knowing what had happened in his room, on his bed, would probably be enough to keep him awake. Taking a deep breath, he’d pushed open the door.
His steps were slow as he made his way across the room. Yunho was there on the bed, waiting, as he’d known he would be. Jae had a fleeting moment of panic, squashed down the urge to bolt. He didn’t know why he felt that way. He wasn’t mad at Yunho, not at all. If anything, he wondered if Yunho would be angry with him. His leaving had been the final nail in the coffin and he’d done so without talking to Yunho first. But he couldn’t. Yunho would never have done it if he’d been there. He would see it as a betrayal and Jae knew it needed to be done. None of them liked the situation, how could they possibly? But it didn’t change the fact that it existed. They all had their part to play. By leaving, he’d served his King, his Queen and his kingdom.
Then why does it hurt so bad?
He hadn’t met Yunho’s eyes yet, afraid of what he’d see: anger, hatred, betrayal, or worse. Taking a deep breath, he raised his gaze to Yunho’s. And stopped in his tracks.
Yunho kneeled in the middle of the bed, his sleeping robe parted exposing his chest and stomach to the waist. His eyes were sad, uncertain. Instead of the revulsion he’d feared, Yunho’s eyes reflected sorrow and heartache, self-disgust and loathing. Jae knew they were for him, always for him. Yunho had been worried about the same things he’d been. How similar they were, he thought.
Suddenly, a strange calm settled upon him. They were both guilty, yet both innocent. Both had done things that neither had wanted to do but needed to for the greater good. So far, Yunho had been the one looking after him, seeing to his needs, protecting him. That night marked a turning of the tides. He didn’t know what they were, was still confused about what he knew as opposed to what Yunho made him feel, but none of that mattered at the moment. From now on, he would protect Yunho too, support him in a way that only he could. Unlike him, he knew that Yunho was sure of his feelings. It might take him some time to get used to, to accept, but he made a promise to himself then and there that he wouldn’t let the situation with the Queen affect them.
He started walking again, his steps still slow. He smiled, though, and hoped that Yunho felt his sincerity and knew that he didn’t judge him.
Yunho’s lips tilted in an answering smile, though his eyes were still uncertain. When he opened his arms to Jae, Jae rushed to him. Yunho’s lips were on his as soon as his arms wrapped around him. He held him so tightly, kissed him so desperately that Jae felt like he was having the life squeezed and sucked out of him. He wanted to pull back and ask Yunho what he was thinking, feeling, to soothe his obviously ruffled nerves. But then Yunho had touched him, his hands gentle and loving, and his mind went completely blank.
After that night, they returned to their usual schedule. Until the notes started coming.
Yunho spent every day with Lord Yoo for the week he’d been there and every night making love to Jae. Three days after the night of the festival, a note had arrived. It had been one of Yunho’s free afternoons and Jae was reading to him, feeding him grapes, when MinWoo knocked and brought it to them. Yunho’s face had hardened as soon as he’d read it. He started to tear it but Jae snatched it from him. He’d glanced down at the plain piece of paper and the one word, written in neat, elegant script, had set his stomach churning.
Tonight.
They both knew what it meant, who it was from. Neither of them said anything, they just looked at each other. Then Jae caught himself, forced his hand to pick up the fork, spear another grape and held it out to Yunho. Yunho’s eyes widened in surprise. He opened his mouth to say something but Jae moved his hand closer. He would honor his promise to himself. No matter how hard it was, no matter how much it hurt, he’d see to it that Yunho did what he had to do. He wouldn’t let him use him (Jae) as an excuse.
Seeing the determination in Jae’s eyes, Yunho took the grape.
Thus began Jae's nightly visits to his tree.
It had been one night that first week, the night of the festival not withstanding, then two the next. They never talked about it. Once the note came, Jae made himself scarce at night. He didn’t actually need to leave his room since, other than the first occasion, Yunho and the Queen always met in the King’s chambers, but it was better for both of them. He couldn’t be in his room knowing what was happening on the other side and he knew that it was easier for Yunho if he wasn’t so close nearby. When Jae returned to his room after the hour, Yunho would always be there. They would undress and go to bed. Sometimes Yunho made love to him, his touch and kisses urgent just like they had been that first night, but mostly he just held him tightly. It always took them a while to fall asleep on those nights but the next day, they’d awaken and it would be like nothing had happened. The memory faded with the dark of night.
By the third week, the arrival of the note was expected but it never ceased to make Jae’s blood run cold. Yunho dropped the note on the table without reading it, assuming what it said. The Queen always simply wrote “Tonight.” Just to be sure, Jae had picked it up and opened it. He gasped and his heart sank.
“It is with sincere regret that I inform you that we have not conceived, my lord. I am sorry to have to inconvenience you further but we all know what this means.”
Yes, they’d known what it meant. Jae had wanted to say something encouraging and supportive to Yunho when he’d seen the crestfallen look on his face. But no words would come because he too wanted to cry. Why must life be so cruel?
Now, a week later, the note had arrived in the early afternoon. They’d been expecting it so it didn’t come as a surprise yet he suspected that they’d both been hoping that there was a mistake, somehow. Sadly, luck wasn’t on their side.
He was so lost in thought that he hadn’t heard the lone figure approach, not that he would have anyway. He’d been trained to be as silent and stealthy as a cobra. He looked down at the young boy, too beautiful for his own good, and his heart hurt knowing what he was about to ask him to do.
He stepped out of the shadows in front of the boy, waited while he jumped in surprise then settled. His voice, when he spoke, was grave.
“He needs you.”
Jae stood outside of the King’s chambers, wondering what lay beyond. The hour wasn’t up yet. What exactly did that mean? He’d asked JunYoung but he wouldn’t tell him. All he would say was that Yunho had sent for him.
Was the Queen still there? Had he sent her away?
Jae closed his eyes and took a deep breath, ignoring the sympathetic looks that the two guards sent his way. He placed his hand on the gold door-handle and pushed.
As soon as he walked in, he got the answer to his question.
She was still there, standing silently at the side of the bed, dressed in her sleeping clothes. She didn’t look up at him as he entered, her eyes instead remained steady on the man sitting on the bed, shoulders bowed, face in his hands.
What had happened?, he wondered.
“Yunho…” he said tentatively as he drew closer, the Queen stepping back to give him room.
He’d no sooner spoken than Yunho’s arms grabbed for him, pulling him close as he buried his face in his stomach.
“I can’t do it,” he cried brokenly. “I can’t do it anymore.”
Jae brought his hands up, one hand gently rubbing Yunho’s back while the other caressed his hair. He closed his eyes against the flood of tears that filled them. He wasn’t completely surprised that they’d come to this. It was obvious that being with the Queen wasn’t natural to Yunho. It was a miracle that he’d managed so far.
“It’s okay,” he whispered soothingly. He could feel the Queen’s eyes boring into his back but he wouldn’t look at her. Let her think what she wanted. This wasn’t about her, it was about Yunho.
Yunho raised his head, his wet, tortured eyes meeting Jae’s. “I can’t do this without you,” he said, lifting his hands to cup Jae’s face. “I need you.”
Jae was just beginning to ponder what exactly that meant when Yunho pulled him down so their lips met. He made no pretense of foreplay but instead boldly thrust his tongue into Jae’s mouth. He didn’t have to wonder if that mouth and that tongue had just been used on the Queen: he knew Yunho would never kiss her. His hands tightened where they lay when Yunho started stroking his tongue with his own. It was a move that always sent tremors of heat up and down his spine.
Before he knew it, Yunho had him on his back on the bed, his lips moving down his neck, his chest, following in the wake of the hands that parted his robes and tugged at his pants. He arched and cried out when Yunho took him in his mouth. He squeezed his eyes shut, blocking out everything except the sensations coursing through his veins. His hand rested on Yunho’s hair, threading gently as his hips undulated in tandem with Yunho’s mouth. His breathing quickened, his hips jerked faster, hand tightening as he held on for dear life. He was reaching, reaching for the last stroke of pleasure that would send him over the edge…and then he was flying, soaring through the sky so high, like Icarus, that he thought the heat flaming his skin would surely consume him.
Yunho put Jae’s clothes back into place, raised up and looked at Jae, taking in his heaving chest, the flush of color beneath his smooth, pale skin, the remnants of ecstasy that were still visible on his face, and thought that he had never been more beautiful. He leaned down and kissed him tenderly on the lips before rolling to the side. Pulling his pants off his hips to reveal the throbbing erection hidden beneath, he looked up at the Queen and with a voice as cold and distant as his eyes, said,
“Make haste, madam, for this is the last chance you’ll have.”
The Queen gasped, eyes wide with shock. Looking at Yunho laid back against the pillows, tanned, toned skin exposed, his manhood standing proud and angry, she felt the first stirrings of carnal desire. While she’d watched them, watched Yunho drown his savage need for the boy in his pale, nubile flesh, so like a young girl’s that she had to wonder if Yunho really didn’t like women, instead of feeling disgust as any normal person would have, she’d been jealous. Yunho was lost to her, she knew that, but she wondered if anyone would ever want her, need her, love her, the way he wanted, needed and loved Jae. Divorce wasn’t an option and she would never wish death upon Yunho. Despite their complex relationship, she really did care for him. She would have to take a lover…but doing so would be risky and the thought saddened her deeply because she’d always hoped that unlike most women in her position, the wives of important men, she would be one of the lucky few to have her lover and her husband be the same person.
But it wasn’t meant to be.
Raising her skirts, she climbed on top of him, straddled his hips, and told herself to make the best of it.
Jae didn’t realize what was happening next to him at first. He’d felt Yunho roll off, heard him speak but the pounding of the blood in his head had been too loud and his words didn’t register. It was only when he opened his eyes and saw the Queen on Yunho, her body moving up and down in a rhythm that he recognized, that he realized what Yunho had meant when he’d said he “needed” him. He stared up at the ceiling, a cloying sickness sliding around in his stomach and making him feel like he wanted to vomit. Yunho had used him. He understood it, accepted it, but it didn’t stop his skin from crawling. He couldn’t blame him, though. He’d seen the shadows in Yunho’s eyes when he’d walked into the room, knew that without his presence, Yunho would never have been able to get the job done.
But still, it hurt.
What bothered him most wasn’t that Yunho had used him but that he’d had to resort to such lengths. It shouldn’t be so difficult. Why did they all have to suffer so? Had they committed unimaginable, unforgivable sins in their former lives?
Just then, Yunho took his hand. He knew that he watched him, felt his intense gaze on the side of his face. He wanted to meet his eyes but he couldn’t. He couldn’t bare to see the Queen again, even in his peripheral vision, knowing exactly what she was doing. But he squeezed Yunho’s hand to let him know that they were in this together.
He focused on the ceiling but try as he might, he couldn’t block out the sounds and scents: the heavy musk of sweat and the slap of flesh against flesh. He thought about how the Queen must have felt, watching them as Yunho pleasured him, and sympathized with her. Maybe he should watch them, he told himself. What they were doing was the natural, church sanctioned way of copulating. He and Yunho were the unnatural ones. Maybe watching them would finally make common sense prevail upon him and put an end to behaviour that was sure to ruin them both.
Jae heard Yunho’s breath catch, then the Queen’s loud cry echoed throughout the room. His hand unconsciously tried to pull away from Yunho's but he held onto him tightly, refusing to break contact. No words were spoken in the aftermath. There was a lot of heavy breathing and shifting as clothes were returned to order. He felt the mattress dip then the soft sound of footsteps, the quiet swish of the door sliding open then shut.
He still didn’t move, couldn’t, just continued to contemplate the ceiling. Yunho rolled towards him, slid on top of him and buried his face in his neck. He stayed that way for long minutes, his breathing still shallow.
“Do you hate me?” he asked, finally breaking the silence.
Do I?, Jae wondered.
Even as he asked himself the question, he knew the answer.
He raised his hands, tracing circles on Yunho’s back with one while the other gently stroked his hair, just like he had when he’d first come into the room.
“I could never hate you,” he whispered, though there were tears in his eyes.
Jae felt wetness on his skin and held him tight as quiet sobs shook his frame.
“I won’t ever do it again,” Yunho swore.
“Alright,” Jae crooned soothingly.
Jae laid his cheek on top of Yunho’s head, his arms tightening around him, and spoke soft words of comfort. He wouldn’t force him, couldn’t bear to put either of them through it anymore, and have Yunho, his proud, handsome, smiling Yunho, reduced to this quivering shell of a man again.
JiHye lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. She was restless and she couldn’t figure out why.
It had been a wonderful day. TaeHun had taken her riding, just on the outskirts of the village. The sun had been high in the sky, the breeze cool. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. She always exuded self-confidence and teased him mercilessly but the truth was, his unflinching adoration and attention embarrassed her. In a good way. Whenever he paid her compliments, she’d have to turn away to hide the flush in her cheeks before she turned back to him with some witty comment or other. She loved when he blushed. It was so cute and endearing. Plus, he was the only man she knew who blushed. Besides her brother, of course. He suffered the same unfortunate effects of their fair coloring.
Her brother…
She made a mental note to talk to Jae tomorrow. Something was up with him. Besides the obvious, that is, the situation with him and the King. It was so unreal, she couldn’t wrap her mind around it. He seemed both happy and troubled at the same time. He was probably keeping her awake, she thought, glaring at the ceiling. There was a strange heaviness in the middle of her chest in the region of her heart. Rubbing the spot, she shook her head at the strangeness of the twin bond.
Her thoughts broke off at the sudden knock on her door.
Kicking the covers aside, she walked to the door and opened it. She poked her head out and saw no one. She stepped out and her something sharp stuck the bottom of her foot.
“Ow!” she yelped.
Looking down, she gasped when her eyes fell on the single, red rose, the thorny stem of which was encased in a plain piece of paper. Bending down, she picked up the rose and unrolled the paper.
“Meet me in the stables. T.H.”
There was a crude drawing of a heart at the end of the single sentence. It was the most adorable thing she’d ever seen. Laughing to herself, her earlier dilemma forgotten, she stepped back into her room and went to get ready.
A/N: Two updates in one day! Don't you love me? *coughs, chokes, keels over* Vanity kills... :(
Part IX