Look!
I'm Alive!
On a vampirelady's stupid note:
So, I did something stupid last weekend which made me realize I'm not as emotionally-fixed as I thought I was. Why does it take stupid shit to make me realize I'm still kinda broken? It's been over 3 fucking years and I'm still dealing with it. Or, as brandiewine pointed out to me, not dealing with it. Go me for being emotionally stinted and unable to really really move on. Grr. What was that stupid thing, you may ask? Ikindasleptwithagirlfromwork. Funny/weird thing is, she's not really my type. I think I was/am just REALLY FUCKING LONELY! When all I do is go to work and school and do schoolwork, I needed something else and she was practically throwing herself at me. I felt really flattered and I guess I just kinda let it go to my head and didn't think about the consequences beforehand. Now I still have to find a way to let her down gently (cause she wants a repeat and I really do not). I especially need to make sure I don't let it slip that I regretted it the next morning and felt the need to shower and wash my sheets 'cause I felt dirty. That's not a good thing to tell somebody. "You made me feel so dirty I had to wash EVERYTHING!" I'm fucked in the head and I know it. I just need to find a good time/place to talk to her (in other words not at work). Ugh. Why do I do this to myself? I hate talking emotional shit with people. And I feel like a horrible person because I feel relief on the days that we're so slow at work that she's called off, meaning I don't actually have to see her. She's not a bad girl; I'm just FUCKED IN THE HEAD.
On a school note:
I should be writing a 1000 word (app. 4 pg) paper. It was due nearly 3 hours ago. I'm bad. And a procrastinator. Plus I don't really like the class. Or maybe I'm just getting burnt out and exhausted from my horrible schedule. Or maybe both. Hopefully I'll stop procrastinating and write it sometime this weekend so it's only 1 day late. But I also have to find time to do another huge assignment for a different class, which I'm cheating on. I'm supposed to interview an expert on an aspect of their job and then write instructions on how to do it. It's supposed to be something I don't already know how to do. Well I couldn't think of anything... AT ALL. So I told my instructor I'd do it on screen stretching and interview somebody from work. Well I know how to stretch screens. I really couldn't think of ANYTHING. She said that I didn't have to know the person, I could look somebody up and call them, do the interview that way. Yeah... I'm soooo not that type of person. I have enough issues talking to people I know... in person. I'm not gonna call some random stranger and ask them how to do their job. Nope. I'm not. I'm gonna write the instructions myself and make up a fake interview with a guy from work. That sounds like an AWESOME plan to me. What do you think? Me, I love it. 'Cause as much as I like this class (it's Fundamentals of Technical Writing), it's a not a writing intensive course and yet it's run like it is. My assignments and group projects in this class are bigger than my courses that ARE writing intensive. I don't have enough time to do all the shit she wants me to! Because the group projects are just as bad. Way too time consuming. At least my third class is so fucking easy it's not even funny. I hate the class and the teacher, but I have 100% in there, after 2 tests and homework assignments. It's a bird course and the only reason I even attend class regularly is because attendance is mandatory and factored into our grade. I wouldn't have to go to class if it wasn't. Part of our homework is to come up with 2 questions for each chapter and send them into the instructor. She then makes a study guide out of them and posts them online for us WITH THE ANSWERS. I print in off in the morning before the test, go over it a few times. The test is the study guide rearranged. And I just mean the questions, all the options for multiple choice are in the same order as the study guide. So if you remember the answer is B for this question, you'll be good. You don't have to remember the actual answer, but just which option it was. I don't understand how people fail the quizzes. The girl next to me got a 14/20 on the first one. YOU'RE GIVEN ALL THE ANSWERS BEFORE THE TEST! You just have to remember what goes with what question. THAT'S IT! Sometimes the stupidity of people amazes me. Including my own stupidity It really shouldn't, but it does. I spend pretty much the entire class period making snarky comments about the teacher and other students. The girl next to me spends the entire time laughing at my snarky comments and every now-and-then adding in her own, but they aren't nearly as good as mine. :P
On a TV note: *May contain spoilers for this season on some shows, but I'm trying to keep them vague*
Supernatural is 10,000 times better this season than last season. I ABHORRED last season! Season 4 is the worst of them all! This season actually kind of rocks. Still trying to figure out if it's as good as season 3, but there's still plenty of episodes to go for me to figure it out. Not liking Bobby's storyline, though. And Kripke is an ass. I swear he's started reading the bible of Joss Whedon, 'cause some of the shit he's pulling has Joss written all over it.
Vampire Diaries is fucking AWESOME! Kevin Williamson has done it again. I will admit I adored Dawson's Creek. Now he's got this one! AWESOME! And apparently he's doing Scream 4, and Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox, and David Arquette are all signed on for it. At least according to IMDb. It should be interesting.
Haven't even started watching Bones for this season yet. I'll get there... eventually.
Smallville actually kind of rocks this season. I've been starting to feel kind of blah with it, but they're really bringing it this season. I'm loving that they're FINALLY playing up the Lois/Clark storyline. Wish there was more Chloe, though, it's like she's barely there anymore.
Dollhouse just keeps getting better and better. JOSS IS GOD. That's all I gotta say about it. I'm amused by all the BSG people guest starring. And I can't wait for more Joss alumni to join in! I'm really looking forward to Summer Glau's stint on the show. And I barely even recognized Alexis Denisof at first. He sounds weird without the british accent.
Castle is another one that just keeps getting better. I love Nathan Fillion in it. So funny. And I actually get a lot of the literature references the writers throw in with his character! Makes me feel kinda special, especially since I know a lot of people probably don't get the references.
Stargate Universe is another amazing show. The Stargate franchise just can't seem to do any wrong for me. I love 'em all. Especially Eli, in SGU. He's hilarious! Plus I love that Richard Dean Anderson, Michael Shanks, and a few others have come back for a few scenes here and there to show the SGC still lives on. :D
I'm also watching One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl, and still catching up on True Blood. I haven't started this season's Dexter or Heroes, yet, but I'll eventually get to them.
This whole post got a lot longer than I thought it would, but that's basically my life at the moment. Little to no sleep with lots of school and work. TV is my detox. My reading list has taken a huge hit to it because of school. I'll eventually get around to updating it.
On a vampirelady's stupid note:
So, I did something stupid last weekend which made me realize I'm not as emotionally-fixed as I thought I was. Why does it take stupid shit to make me realize I'm still kinda broken? It's been over 3 fucking years and I'm still dealing with it. Or, as brandiewine pointed out to me, not dealing with it. Go me for being emotionally stinted and unable to really really move on. Grr. What was that stupid thing, you may ask? Ikindasleptwithagirlfromwork. Funny/weird thing is, she's not really my type. I think I was/am just REALLY FUCKING LONELY! When all I do is go to work and school and do schoolwork, I needed something else and she was practically throwing herself at me. I felt really flattered and I guess I just kinda let it go to my head and didn't think about the consequences beforehand. Now I still have to find a way to let her down gently (cause she wants a repeat and I really do not). I especially need to make sure I don't let it slip that I regretted it the next morning and felt the need to shower and wash my sheets 'cause I felt dirty. That's not a good thing to tell somebody. "You made me feel so dirty I had to wash EVERYTHING!" I'm fucked in the head and I know it. I just need to find a good time/place to talk to her (in other words not at work). Ugh. Why do I do this to myself? I hate talking emotional shit with people. And I feel like a horrible person because I feel relief on the days that we're so slow at work that she's called off, meaning I don't actually have to see her. She's not a bad girl; I'm just FUCKED IN THE HEAD.
On a school note:
I should be writing a 1000 word (app. 4 pg) paper. It was due nearly 3 hours ago. I'm bad. And a procrastinator. Plus I don't really like the class. Or maybe I'm just getting burnt out and exhausted from my horrible schedule. Or maybe both. Hopefully I'll stop procrastinating and write it sometime this weekend so it's only 1 day late. But I also have to find time to do another huge assignment for a different class, which I'm cheating on. I'm supposed to interview an expert on an aspect of their job and then write instructions on how to do it. It's supposed to be something I don't already know how to do. Well I couldn't think of anything... AT ALL. So I told my instructor I'd do it on screen stretching and interview somebody from work. Well I know how to stretch screens. I really couldn't think of ANYTHING. She said that I didn't have to know the person, I could look somebody up and call them, do the interview that way. Yeah... I'm soooo not that type of person. I have enough issues talking to people I know... in person. I'm not gonna call some random stranger and ask them how to do their job. Nope. I'm not. I'm gonna write the instructions myself and make up a fake interview with a guy from work. That sounds like an AWESOME plan to me. What do you think? Me, I love it. 'Cause as much as I like this class (it's Fundamentals of Technical Writing), it's a not a writing intensive course and yet it's run like it is. My assignments and group projects in this class are bigger than my courses that ARE writing intensive. I don't have enough time to do all the shit she wants me to! Because the group projects are just as bad. Way too time consuming. At least my third class is so fucking easy it's not even funny. I hate the class and the teacher, but I have 100% in there, after 2 tests and homework assignments. It's a bird course and the only reason I even attend class regularly is because attendance is mandatory and factored into our grade. I wouldn't have to go to class if it wasn't. Part of our homework is to come up with 2 questions for each chapter and send them into the instructor. She then makes a study guide out of them and posts them online for us WITH THE ANSWERS. I print in off in the morning before the test, go over it a few times. The test is the study guide rearranged. And I just mean the questions, all the options for multiple choice are in the same order as the study guide. So if you remember the answer is B for this question, you'll be good. You don't have to remember the actual answer, but just which option it was. I don't understand how people fail the quizzes. The girl next to me got a 14/20 on the first one. YOU'RE GIVEN ALL THE ANSWERS BEFORE THE TEST! You just have to remember what goes with what question. THAT'S IT! Sometimes the stupidity of people amazes me. Including my own stupidity It really shouldn't, but it does. I spend pretty much the entire class period making snarky comments about the teacher and other students. The girl next to me spends the entire time laughing at my snarky comments and every now-and-then adding in her own, but they aren't nearly as good as mine. :P
On a TV note: *May contain spoilers for this season on some shows, but I'm trying to keep them vague*
Supernatural is 10,000 times better this season than last season. I ABHORRED last season! Season 4 is the worst of them all! This season actually kind of rocks. Still trying to figure out if it's as good as season 3, but there's still plenty of episodes to go for me to figure it out. Not liking Bobby's storyline, though. And Kripke is an ass. I swear he's started reading the bible of Joss Whedon, 'cause some of the shit he's pulling has Joss written all over it.
Vampire Diaries is fucking AWESOME! Kevin Williamson has done it again. I will admit I adored Dawson's Creek. Now he's got this one! AWESOME! And apparently he's doing Scream 4, and Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox, and David Arquette are all signed on for it. At least according to IMDb. It should be interesting.
Haven't even started watching Bones for this season yet. I'll get there... eventually.
Smallville actually kind of rocks this season. I've been starting to feel kind of blah with it, but they're really bringing it this season. I'm loving that they're FINALLY playing up the Lois/Clark storyline. Wish there was more Chloe, though, it's like she's barely there anymore.
Dollhouse just keeps getting better and better. JOSS IS GOD. That's all I gotta say about it. I'm amused by all the BSG people guest starring. And I can't wait for more Joss alumni to join in! I'm really looking forward to Summer Glau's stint on the show. And I barely even recognized Alexis Denisof at first. He sounds weird without the british accent.
Castle is another one that just keeps getting better. I love Nathan Fillion in it. So funny. And I actually get a lot of the literature references the writers throw in with his character! Makes me feel kinda special, especially since I know a lot of people probably don't get the references.
Stargate Universe is another amazing show. The Stargate franchise just can't seem to do any wrong for me. I love 'em all. Especially Eli, in SGU. He's hilarious! Plus I love that Richard Dean Anderson, Michael Shanks, and a few others have come back for a few scenes here and there to show the SGC still lives on. :D
I'm also watching One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl, and still catching up on True Blood. I haven't started this season's Dexter or Heroes, yet, but I'll eventually get to them.
This whole post got a lot longer than I thought it would, but that's basically my life at the moment. Little to no sleep with lots of school and work. TV is my detox. My reading list has taken a huge hit to it because of school. I'll eventually get around to updating it.