Melissa Etheridge sure got it right....
So, because of the fact that I have a MySpace, I never really get on here to post. A lot of people I know on here also have a MySpace and usually just keep up with me there (or not, depending on who it is...) I know I say this a lot, and it seems to be my one good excuse, but really there's no excuse because:
1.) I tend to write more on here anyway (which may be annoying to you, but is good for my little dykey soul...)
2.) I feel a bit more "open" to say whatever is on my mind in LJ land, because there are a lot of random people who read my stuff on MySpace more often, and it just sort of creeps me out (and yes, I know I can block them, but that would block a lot of people that I actually do want to read my stuff... and I know they do, oh yes, I know...)
3.) I do have friends on here that don't have a MySpace and it really isn't fair for me to exclude them in what is going on in my life...
There are many more reasons, I'm sure... but we'll leave it at that for the sake of space and time. (That sounded a bit cosmic, my apologies.) So, with that all being said, I am going to really try to write a bit more often on here. Who knows, I might actually have the time and energy to do it now that I have quit my job.
Ok, before I hear anything about it... I didn't just up and quit like last time, and I had more than good reason. Aside from the fact that I FCUKING (spelled wrong on purpose) hated the place, I think my commute to work would be a bitch once I move. About 3 days worth of driving. Anyone got it yet? (Ok, yes Amanda, I know you know...) Anybody else...??? Give up? Okay... here's why it would take that long.
BECAUSE MY ASS IS GOING TO BE IN CALIFORNIA!!!!! FINALLY... after all this time, all these years, after all the bullshit and things that failed because they were so fucked up... I'm going HOME! Well, I'll be living in Fresno for a hot second. My girlfriend's mom is a nurse, and she got a travel assignment in Fresno (because jobs aren't so easy to come by right now, with the recession and the election and all... I know I don't need to explain...) Ally's brother is still living in Monterey where they were last time (he never moved) and my brother is in Hayward, about 30 minutes from San Francisco. We thought about L.A., too, but Fresno's where she got. It's still Cali, and it's still NOT MEMPHIS, so far-be-it for me to complain. Well, eventually we will try to get into Monterey/Santa Cruz closer to her brother, or in San Fran (which is where Ally and I really want to be) closer to my brother. But it works out for now. Being practically poor, and needing to work and not visit and play all the time, we'll be a safely close distance of about 3 hours to Monterey, 3 to SF, 3 to LA and about 3 to 4 to Las Vegas. :) Yeaaaaahhhhh... and Vegas is about an hour away (3 or 4 from me) to where my ex girlfriend Drea lives...
Hold the phone... I know! Don't look at me like that. I freaking know where she lives and that disturbs me. But here's why:
Not remember all the details, she found me about a year ago and was talking to me for a hot second. Apologizing for everything, confessing her sins, cleansing her soul... whatever. Because her therapist told her she needed to. I wasn't very helpful, and we stopped talking. Luckily I still had her phone number because I've found myself in a desperate situation that I figured she MIGHT actually be able to help me with. Again, without going into too much detail (and sparing myself having to think of the pain and start crying again) I have to give up my kitty soul mate, my Mannon Hino, my life. :( Please, if you want to know, you can ask... but don't beg me to do it right now, I am going to need some time to heal from this. Well, as MOST of you might know, Mannon's a bit of an "asshole" and not many people want him. I don't want to give him to just a stranger, because I would never know if he was ok, or being abused, or let go, or put to sleep... and I most certainly don't want that. There were about 2 people (thank you Amanda and Jo) who said they would take him, but couldn't because of their living situations. So, having her phone number still, her being the "first mother" and somewhat knowing and understanding him, I thought she might help me out. It took 2 days for her to talk it out and decided she would. :) :( It's good and bad.... I won't get too into this, but it's somewhat comforting that he'll be closer, I CAN check on him if I want to (though I can't honestly say I really want to deal with her much more after this... but we'll see. A lot of time has passed, her and "Tiff" broke up... ha ha, and I can be civil just as much as the next person. So we'll meet, I can give him to her, and hopefully it will all work out. I have my doubts and concerns (that she'll be mean or get rid of him, or whatever...) but I'm trying not to dwell on it and think of the positive. And besides, I told Mannon he could kill her if he really wanted to. :) Anyway, enough on that. I'm done thinking about it right now... I don't cry often, but this has been getting to me a lot, and once I start, I don't stop.
SO...... how about them Dolphins? Eh, no? Okay... well let's see... quit my job, moving, cat taken care of... keeping Nemean Leo, and the dogs of course... oh oh... we leave on the 22nd which is Ally's mom's (or as I call her MJ, Mama Janet, just not to her face) birthday. And we'll get there on the 24th which is mine and Ally's 8 month anniversary. How gay is that. And that night (if we're not too tired) there's a Rocky Horror Picture Show Drag Contest at a local gay club called Deja Vu... um, I'm in!!!! :) I'll freaking take some stay awake pills for that shit!!!! Uh, can't wait. What else... the travel company is paying the rent and utilities, furnishing the apartment (what doesn't fit in our cars, goes in storage for now, since we're planning on moving again in 3 to 6 months...) and we'll have high-speed internet and cable. This all gets paid for "by" the company, but it's basically out of what MJ get paid, and they just give her an "adjusted" salary or whatever. So with all that being paid, I still only have my car note, insurance and cell phone to pay. Sounds like a sweet deal (and it is, don't get me wrong) until you add in that I might only be making minimum wage (which is still like $8.00 there) and have to pay off for how far behind I got in my car not (which now I'm only about a month behind) and doctor bills, Blockbuster, Extra Space Storage, University of Memphis (fuckers), speeding tickets... etc, etc. Then I also REALLY need to save up, and find out what kind of deal I can get, on getting my teeth fixed. I was dead set on NOT going back out there with my teeth looking this way (like I'm some backwoods hillbilly folk or something) living in California. But it's not worth it to stay here and hopefully I'll have better luck with jobs and money out there. I know I'm rambling... see, this is why I'm sure no one minds if I never write. LOL.
So, lots to do, little time to do it in. Getting my car tags renewed in a few hours, getting it clean and fixed up and ready to drive all the way out to CALIFORNIA!!!! Packing, moving stuff into storage, separating what goes with us, saying good bye to people.... Trying to keep my mom from killing herself (she's not taking this well.. it's not like Denver when she knew I'd be back, funny I think everyone did...) But between her and I we're going to try to make getting her back home a possibility with the next few years, also. We'll just see how it goes.
Well I think I've said more than enough... and still, not everything there is to say. But maybe I'll try to keep up a little more often now. I hope we got out there and everything works out and I get a job and bills start getting paid and money starts getting saved.. and just I hope for so much out of this, and that's a scary and dangerous thing for me to do. But it just seems more real than anything else I've hoped for in Memphis. And with Ally by my side, and her mom being there for us and with us, I think everything will work out beautifully. Time shall tell, and so will I... or at least, I'll try. If all else fails and you're wondering what's up, go check out my MySpace... I've been doing a lot of work to it anyway, and am rather proud of it... and still have much more to do... so it's always something new and "interesting" dare I say. Like pics of me playing Guitar Hero... oh yeah, that's right... I rock. :)
Okay, I'm done writing for tonight. I will, with most assurance, not be writing again until I get to California, and I'll try not to get so wrapped up in everything going on that I never write and get you all posted on how it's going. (Though how bad CAN it go when you're in Cali?) Since it's almost 5 AM I'll say sweet dreams to every one else who isn't an insomniac like me and good morning to people that are, or are on the East Coast getting up for work or something. =) Sucks to be you... because I'M NOT GOING TO WORK TODAY!!! HA HA HA! (Trust me, I'll still be doing plenty, and on no sleep, so I don't envy you that much... =P
Shutting up... ::zip:: Bye.
1.) I tend to write more on here anyway (which may be annoying to you, but is good for my little dykey soul...)
2.) I feel a bit more "open" to say whatever is on my mind in LJ land, because there are a lot of random people who read my stuff on MySpace more often, and it just sort of creeps me out (and yes, I know I can block them, but that would block a lot of people that I actually do want to read my stuff... and I know they do, oh yes, I know...)
3.) I do have friends on here that don't have a MySpace and it really isn't fair for me to exclude them in what is going on in my life...
There are many more reasons, I'm sure... but we'll leave it at that for the sake of space and time. (That sounded a bit cosmic, my apologies.) So, with that all being said, I am going to really try to write a bit more often on here. Who knows, I might actually have the time and energy to do it now that I have quit my job.
Ok, before I hear anything about it... I didn't just up and quit like last time, and I had more than good reason. Aside from the fact that I FCUKING (spelled wrong on purpose) hated the place, I think my commute to work would be a bitch once I move. About 3 days worth of driving. Anyone got it yet? (Ok, yes Amanda, I know you know...) Anybody else...??? Give up? Okay... here's why it would take that long.
BECAUSE MY ASS IS GOING TO BE IN CALIFORNIA!!!!! FINALLY... after all this time, all these years, after all the bullshit and things that failed because they were so fucked up... I'm going HOME! Well, I'll be living in Fresno for a hot second. My girlfriend's mom is a nurse, and she got a travel assignment in Fresno (because jobs aren't so easy to come by right now, with the recession and the election and all... I know I don't need to explain...) Ally's brother is still living in Monterey where they were last time (he never moved) and my brother is in Hayward, about 30 minutes from San Francisco. We thought about L.A., too, but Fresno's where she got. It's still Cali, and it's still NOT MEMPHIS, so far-be-it for me to complain. Well, eventually we will try to get into Monterey/Santa Cruz closer to her brother, or in San Fran (which is where Ally and I really want to be) closer to my brother. But it works out for now. Being practically poor, and needing to work and not visit and play all the time, we'll be a safely close distance of about 3 hours to Monterey, 3 to SF, 3 to LA and about 3 to 4 to Las Vegas. :) Yeaaaaahhhhh... and Vegas is about an hour away (3 or 4 from me) to where my ex girlfriend Drea lives...
Hold the phone... I know! Don't look at me like that. I freaking know where she lives and that disturbs me. But here's why:
Not remember all the details, she found me about a year ago and was talking to me for a hot second. Apologizing for everything, confessing her sins, cleansing her soul... whatever. Because her therapist told her she needed to. I wasn't very helpful, and we stopped talking. Luckily I still had her phone number because I've found myself in a desperate situation that I figured she MIGHT actually be able to help me with. Again, without going into too much detail (and sparing myself having to think of the pain and start crying again) I have to give up my kitty soul mate, my Mannon Hino, my life. :( Please, if you want to know, you can ask... but don't beg me to do it right now, I am going to need some time to heal from this. Well, as MOST of you might know, Mannon's a bit of an "asshole" and not many people want him. I don't want to give him to just a stranger, because I would never know if he was ok, or being abused, or let go, or put to sleep... and I most certainly don't want that. There were about 2 people (thank you Amanda and Jo) who said they would take him, but couldn't because of their living situations. So, having her phone number still, her being the "first mother" and somewhat knowing and understanding him, I thought she might help me out. It took 2 days for her to talk it out and decided she would. :) :( It's good and bad.... I won't get too into this, but it's somewhat comforting that he'll be closer, I CAN check on him if I want to (though I can't honestly say I really want to deal with her much more after this... but we'll see. A lot of time has passed, her and "Tiff" broke up... ha ha, and I can be civil just as much as the next person. So we'll meet, I can give him to her, and hopefully it will all work out. I have my doubts and concerns (that she'll be mean or get rid of him, or whatever...) but I'm trying not to dwell on it and think of the positive. And besides, I told Mannon he could kill her if he really wanted to. :) Anyway, enough on that. I'm done thinking about it right now... I don't cry often, but this has been getting to me a lot, and once I start, I don't stop.
SO...... how about them Dolphins? Eh, no? Okay... well let's see... quit my job, moving, cat taken care of... keeping Nemean Leo, and the dogs of course... oh oh... we leave on the 22nd which is Ally's mom's (or as I call her MJ, Mama Janet, just not to her face) birthday. And we'll get there on the 24th which is mine and Ally's 8 month anniversary. How gay is that. And that night (if we're not too tired) there's a Rocky Horror Picture Show Drag Contest at a local gay club called Deja Vu... um, I'm in!!!! :) I'll freaking take some stay awake pills for that shit!!!! Uh, can't wait. What else... the travel company is paying the rent and utilities, furnishing the apartment (what doesn't fit in our cars, goes in storage for now, since we're planning on moving again in 3 to 6 months...) and we'll have high-speed internet and cable. This all gets paid for "by" the company, but it's basically out of what MJ get paid, and they just give her an "adjusted" salary or whatever. So with all that being paid, I still only have my car note, insurance and cell phone to pay. Sounds like a sweet deal (and it is, don't get me wrong) until you add in that I might only be making minimum wage (which is still like $8.00 there) and have to pay off for how far behind I got in my car not (which now I'm only about a month behind) and doctor bills, Blockbuster, Extra Space Storage, University of Memphis (fuckers), speeding tickets... etc, etc. Then I also REALLY need to save up, and find out what kind of deal I can get, on getting my teeth fixed. I was dead set on NOT going back out there with my teeth looking this way (like I'm some backwoods hillbilly folk or something) living in California. But it's not worth it to stay here and hopefully I'll have better luck with jobs and money out there. I know I'm rambling... see, this is why I'm sure no one minds if I never write. LOL.
So, lots to do, little time to do it in. Getting my car tags renewed in a few hours, getting it clean and fixed up and ready to drive all the way out to CALIFORNIA!!!! Packing, moving stuff into storage, separating what goes with us, saying good bye to people.... Trying to keep my mom from killing herself (she's not taking this well.. it's not like Denver when she knew I'd be back, funny I think everyone did...) But between her and I we're going to try to make getting her back home a possibility with the next few years, also. We'll just see how it goes.
Well I think I've said more than enough... and still, not everything there is to say. But maybe I'll try to keep up a little more often now. I hope we got out there and everything works out and I get a job and bills start getting paid and money starts getting saved.. and just I hope for so much out of this, and that's a scary and dangerous thing for me to do. But it just seems more real than anything else I've hoped for in Memphis. And with Ally by my side, and her mom being there for us and with us, I think everything will work out beautifully. Time shall tell, and so will I... or at least, I'll try. If all else fails and you're wondering what's up, go check out my MySpace... I've been doing a lot of work to it anyway, and am rather proud of it... and still have much more to do... so it's always something new and "interesting" dare I say. Like pics of me playing Guitar Hero... oh yeah, that's right... I rock. :)
Okay, I'm done writing for tonight. I will, with most assurance, not be writing again until I get to California, and I'll try not to get so wrapped up in everything going on that I never write and get you all posted on how it's going. (Though how bad CAN it go when you're in Cali?) Since it's almost 5 AM I'll say sweet dreams to every one else who isn't an insomniac like me and good morning to people that are, or are on the East Coast getting up for work or something. =) Sucks to be you... because I'M NOT GOING TO WORK TODAY!!! HA HA HA! (Trust me, I'll still be doing plenty, and on no sleep, so I don't envy you that much... =P
Shutting up... ::zip:: Bye.