Heterosexual Questionnaire
I had my last day in English today, which was good, but I still have more finals coming up. The one I have tomorrow I'm trying to study for, but I had to take a break. Besides which, I read something in one of the chapters that I absolutely HAD to put down in here, because it was just too fucking funny. It's in the chapter about discrimination, getting along with others, prejudice, etc... and they put a questionnaire in the chapter to "contemplate" rather than actually answer... and I'll explain it more after I've written it, but you should get the humor of it anyway.
Read each of the following questions:
1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
2. When and how did you decide you were heterosexual?
3. Is it possible that heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
4. Is it possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
5. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies?
6. Why do you insist on showing off your heterosexuality?
7. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
8. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change. Have you ever considered changing?
9. Considering the menace of hunger and overpopulation, can the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual like yourself?
How do you think most heterosexuals would react to such questions? What do your own reactions to the questions tell you about the assumptions you hold about who you are and what others are like? How would your reactions differe if you substituted "homosexual" for each occurence of "heterosexual" in the questionnaire?
So now you know what's so funny. I think the extra humor is added for me, because it reminds me of an Ellen episode, where her cousin Spence gets knocked unconcious, and has this weird dream sequence where everyone was gay, and him being hetero was so taboo, and he was caught going into a straight club and had to confront all his friends about it, and they were all weird around him- it was fucking hillarious. Honestly though, on a serious note, I wonder if heteros ever think of it the other way around? Even if that questionnaire did address homosexuals, like myself, I don't think I would look twice at it. Though I could answer them, I'd just be rather sarcastic about it. :) There was something else in there and one of the questions asked "If you found out that a star professional football player is gay, would you be surprised?" Let me just say, if someone were surprised, they'd be pretty stupid. I'm surprised most football players are straight! Tight, spandex pants, the makeup they wear, slapping each other's asses and showering naked while bumping up against each other- talk about your heteros gone wrong. What is the world coming to today!? *Just so there's no mistaking this, I am being completely sarcastic and find nothing but humor in everything I say. To think otherwise would be a mistake on the part of the reader who had not enough common sense to figure that out, or was too easily offended by the mocking manner in which I presented this entire entry.* There were just a lot of funny things in this chapter. For further reading go to TheBloodDyke@yahoo.com and express any comments, questions or concerns you have regarding this information.
Other than that, things are fine, just need to get back to studying soon- need to eat first. My cat is getting in the way of the computer screen, so I'm taking it he wants a little T.L.C. so I better go. Besides, I need to rest my typing fingers for now- I'm hoping to be on for awhile tonight. :) For now, the world is as it should be. ::sigh::
Read each of the following questions:
1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
2. When and how did you decide you were heterosexual?
3. Is it possible that heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
4. Is it possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
5. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies?
6. Why do you insist on showing off your heterosexuality?
7. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
8. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change. Have you ever considered changing?
9. Considering the menace of hunger and overpopulation, can the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual like yourself?
How do you think most heterosexuals would react to such questions? What do your own reactions to the questions tell you about the assumptions you hold about who you are and what others are like? How would your reactions differe if you substituted "homosexual" for each occurence of "heterosexual" in the questionnaire?
So now you know what's so funny. I think the extra humor is added for me, because it reminds me of an Ellen episode, where her cousin Spence gets knocked unconcious, and has this weird dream sequence where everyone was gay, and him being hetero was so taboo, and he was caught going into a straight club and had to confront all his friends about it, and they were all weird around him- it was fucking hillarious. Honestly though, on a serious note, I wonder if heteros ever think of it the other way around? Even if that questionnaire did address homosexuals, like myself, I don't think I would look twice at it. Though I could answer them, I'd just be rather sarcastic about it. :) There was something else in there and one of the questions asked "If you found out that a star professional football player is gay, would you be surprised?" Let me just say, if someone were surprised, they'd be pretty stupid. I'm surprised most football players are straight! Tight, spandex pants, the makeup they wear, slapping each other's asses and showering naked while bumping up against each other- talk about your heteros gone wrong. What is the world coming to today!? *Just so there's no mistaking this, I am being completely sarcastic and find nothing but humor in everything I say. To think otherwise would be a mistake on the part of the reader who had not enough common sense to figure that out, or was too easily offended by the mocking manner in which I presented this entire entry.* There were just a lot of funny things in this chapter. For further reading go to TheBloodDyke@yahoo.com and express any comments, questions or concerns you have regarding this information.
Other than that, things are fine, just need to get back to studying soon- need to eat first. My cat is getting in the way of the computer screen, so I'm taking it he wants a little T.L.C. so I better go. Besides, I need to rest my typing fingers for now- I'm hoping to be on for awhile tonight. :) For now, the world is as it should be. ::sigh::