(no subject)
i have been so angry and depressed lately. i called and talked to ryan yesterday and i told him that i wanted to be with him nomater what, even if he was sleeping around. i dont know why i said that but i just really want to hold on to what we had. then he kept having to let me go cause he was busy talking with his 17 year old slut who now after 3 weeks of being with him says that she is falling in love with him. so he is staying with her and the girl from brighton, because they are ok with him sleeping around. after i thought about it and was stressing over the fact that he wanted to stay with them and me, i got very angry. i called him back at midnight and reamed his ass. i was so mad that he could be so selfish. he tried to explane that he was'nt worth my time and that all he will do is hurt me. i understand that, i know that he is wrong for me. but all i want from him is for him to suffer, for him to feel the pain that he has caused me ten fold. he has no guilt for what he has done. he said he is sorry but if he really cared he would make an effort to show it like with the flowers that he got me, wich now mean nothing and that i just so happened to burn. i was supose to go get my phone charger from him today i even would have gone to meet him half way. he was supose to call me when he got out of work, but he didnt. so i called him to see if he was off work. he was and he was hanging out with beckey the girl from brighton. he then went on to say that he doesnt have the money to come see me and that he was going to give my stuff to his dad at work to have him give it to me. grawwwwwwwwwwwwlllllll. this just puts me over the top. he doesnt even have the dignity and consideration for me to even make the trip half way to end the relationship. he rater stay with his bitches. i told him that i would let him go and i probably never see him again because i will never call him again and he doesnt have enought care for me to call me. then i said for him to have fun with his bitches and to have a nice life and hung up on him. i hope he is hurt by it and i hope he gets a disease from these sluts. i hope he falls in love with one of them and then have them leave him for another guy. so he will feel my pain. i hope he has a miserable life with lots of pain and suffering. "hell have no furry like a woman scorned". he is lucky that i have self control and can control my anger because if i wasnt so understanding i would be making his life hell right now, i could completely ruin him right now with all the dirt i have on him but i will take the high road and put myself above him.