I forgot someone really important, and this isn't going to fix a thing......but i can try.
Sooo, theres this guy. His name happens to be Dan.
Dan......was my very first big crush. I met him nearly 6 years ago, and to this day, he's been my savior. He's been there fromt eh start, he was the first person I could go to and tell them anything that was bothering me and he'd be there to help me. I wrote countless of crappy poems about him(crappy becasue i was stupid and 13....not because its about him heh), talked abuot him non-stop, cried over him. He was the first guy i ever really really liked, even though he was 3 years older than me, i still felt liek he liked me......i was a bit deluional at 13. he gives the best hugs, no one compares to the hug of Dan. I can barely find the words right now to descrtibe how much this guy means to me. 6 years of my being upset, him helping me, and visa versa. 6 years of a crush that gave me a best friend. 6 years that will turn into 12, then hopefully 18. this is the guy i want to be at my weddin, to be in my wedding party, to toast to me and my husband and tell a couple of embarrassing stories. this is the guy i want my kids to call uncle dan. This is the guy who saved my life. Literally.....Dan saved my life. If it weren't for him, i wouldn't have had anything to look foward to when i got home from school. no one would have been there to tlak to online, or hear about how the girls made fun of me again. no one to tell me its alright, that everything will get better, that i'll find a boyfriend someday, that i'm going to be a better person after this. I wouldn't have had something to keep me going and motivated, and I put steve as one of my only guy friends that i can trust instead of him.......when Dan never hurt me, i was just a girl with a huge crush on someone to old and mature for her. And now i hurt Dan........and all the i'm sorrys in the world can't fix what i did in that last blog.
What i was thinking, was he doesn't need to be mentioned becasue the whole world doesn't need to know everyone i love. i didn't think it needed to be mentioned, becasue i knew what Dan has done for me through these years, some of them have been my hardest, and he was right there. I feel rediculous because, not everyone i mentioned has done for me what dan has. Not everyone has seen me at my lowest, they think they have, but they haven't. Dan has, Dan has seen me at my weakest, my most deppressed, my most hurt. No one who was mentioned knew me at an age where everyday was torment. Where school was a place i hated, not because it was a waste of time, because it was a place i was degraded, disrespected, and made fun of. Dan knows every single horror story from those days. He knows when they made me feel like nothing, and he told me i was something. I have had moments with him that i wouldn't trade for the world. I have memories that i still talk about today, good memories, like the time when i told him i liked him, that i had a big crush on him......and he said"Well...it's about time!". All the breakfasts we went to with Carlo, his antics with Carlo and Ken and Hoffman. going to mass and sitting with the choir because he was there(thats seriously the only reason i went to church............sorry Jesus).
That.........that is the man i trust my life with. That person i described, is the truest and most real person i have ever met in my 18 years of life, and will probably ever meet. He helped me find my way. He helped me live. I don't think he knows how he saved me, but he did. He saved my life. It wasn't a song that saved me, but a real person who will be with me where ever i go, where ever life takes me. Whose voice will be in the back of my head telling me i'm worth this, i can do this, don't you dare give up. This is the love of my life, my best friend.
This........this is a guy named Dan. He saved me from myself.
Dan......was my very first big crush. I met him nearly 6 years ago, and to this day, he's been my savior. He's been there fromt eh start, he was the first person I could go to and tell them anything that was bothering me and he'd be there to help me. I wrote countless of crappy poems about him(crappy becasue i was stupid and 13....not because its about him heh), talked abuot him non-stop, cried over him. He was the first guy i ever really really liked, even though he was 3 years older than me, i still felt liek he liked me......i was a bit deluional at 13. he gives the best hugs, no one compares to the hug of Dan. I can barely find the words right now to descrtibe how much this guy means to me. 6 years of my being upset, him helping me, and visa versa. 6 years of a crush that gave me a best friend. 6 years that will turn into 12, then hopefully 18. this is the guy i want to be at my weddin, to be in my wedding party, to toast to me and my husband and tell a couple of embarrassing stories. this is the guy i want my kids to call uncle dan. This is the guy who saved my life. Literally.....Dan saved my life. If it weren't for him, i wouldn't have had anything to look foward to when i got home from school. no one would have been there to tlak to online, or hear about how the girls made fun of me again. no one to tell me its alright, that everything will get better, that i'll find a boyfriend someday, that i'm going to be a better person after this. I wouldn't have had something to keep me going and motivated, and I put steve as one of my only guy friends that i can trust instead of him.......when Dan never hurt me, i was just a girl with a huge crush on someone to old and mature for her. And now i hurt Dan........and all the i'm sorrys in the world can't fix what i did in that last blog.
What i was thinking, was he doesn't need to be mentioned becasue the whole world doesn't need to know everyone i love. i didn't think it needed to be mentioned, becasue i knew what Dan has done for me through these years, some of them have been my hardest, and he was right there. I feel rediculous because, not everyone i mentioned has done for me what dan has. Not everyone has seen me at my lowest, they think they have, but they haven't. Dan has, Dan has seen me at my weakest, my most deppressed, my most hurt. No one who was mentioned knew me at an age where everyday was torment. Where school was a place i hated, not because it was a waste of time, because it was a place i was degraded, disrespected, and made fun of. Dan knows every single horror story from those days. He knows when they made me feel like nothing, and he told me i was something. I have had moments with him that i wouldn't trade for the world. I have memories that i still talk about today, good memories, like the time when i told him i liked him, that i had a big crush on him......and he said"Well...it's about time!". All the breakfasts we went to with Carlo, his antics with Carlo and Ken and Hoffman. going to mass and sitting with the choir because he was there(thats seriously the only reason i went to church............sorry Jesus).
That.........that is the man i trust my life with. That person i described, is the truest and most real person i have ever met in my 18 years of life, and will probably ever meet. He helped me find my way. He helped me live. I don't think he knows how he saved me, but he did. He saved my life. It wasn't a song that saved me, but a real person who will be with me where ever i go, where ever life takes me. Whose voice will be in the back of my head telling me i'm worth this, i can do this, don't you dare give up. This is the love of my life, my best friend.
This........this is a guy named Dan. He saved me from myself.