Feeling depressed and lonely
I got the huge urge to post and vent about how I am feeling.
It all just kinda hit me today. My cousin and her boy-toy came home tonight and I was fine but just seeing them together and seeing how happy she is made me long for the days when I had someone to hold too.
I know I am not the best at relationships which is why I can go for periods with out one. But sometimes it just hits and I realize that I am lonely and I hate it. Not having someone to hang-out with or someone just to hold. I tell myself I am fine and that I have gotten through these times to the other end, but it just sucks. Sometimes, like now, I feel like I will never find someone that I can have for my own. I will always be the third wheel that sticks out like a sore thumb.
I cannot stand feeling this way and most of the time I hide it and push it inside until even I don't see it. I have gone through a lot of life pretending to be happy. And because of that when I do get depressed or start to show my feelings people think something is wrong with me. I am not sick I am just lonely. So stop nagging and let me get through this on my own. Stop trying to make me feel better and telling me what I need to get or do. I know what I need to get and do I just need to be depressed and get through the stuff at my own pace.
As my cousin stands over my shoulder and yells at me to "get a man" Ok. maybe I will and hopefully I will. Just shut up and go get laid like you are going too and let me vent.
That is all for now. Thanks for putting up with me. I kinda like this writing it out thing cause I don't need to tell it to someone face to face.
Becca
It all just kinda hit me today. My cousin and her boy-toy came home tonight and I was fine but just seeing them together and seeing how happy she is made me long for the days when I had someone to hold too.
I know I am not the best at relationships which is why I can go for periods with out one. But sometimes it just hits and I realize that I am lonely and I hate it. Not having someone to hang-out with or someone just to hold. I tell myself I am fine and that I have gotten through these times to the other end, but it just sucks. Sometimes, like now, I feel like I will never find someone that I can have for my own. I will always be the third wheel that sticks out like a sore thumb.
I cannot stand feeling this way and most of the time I hide it and push it inside until even I don't see it. I have gone through a lot of life pretending to be happy. And because of that when I do get depressed or start to show my feelings people think something is wrong with me. I am not sick I am just lonely. So stop nagging and let me get through this on my own. Stop trying to make me feel better and telling me what I need to get or do. I know what I need to get and do I just need to be depressed and get through the stuff at my own pace.
As my cousin stands over my shoulder and yells at me to "get a man" Ok. maybe I will and hopefully I will. Just shut up and go get laid like you are going too and let me vent.
That is all for now. Thanks for putting up with me. I kinda like this writing it out thing cause I don't need to tell it to someone face to face.
Becca