happy belated birthday kyle
i feel bad i didnt get kyle anything for his birthday, ill make it up to him somehow.
otherwise, ive been doing all crappy lately...it really sucks not having a job when your girlfriend has 2....i feel like such a fucking bum, but ive been trying my damn hardest to get jobs and ive applied EVERYWHERE except jewel AND ive been following up on the apps....but nothing, there is no place out here that seems to want to hire me, and my mom is getting on my case and it SUCKS. so yeah, i have no money, which means in wont be able to get my computer for school, or rather i wont be able to get ANYTHING for school until i get out there and hopefully manage to get a job. if this keeps up for much longer out here im giving up until i move, there wouldnt be any point in me getting a job if i only keep it for like 4 weeks.
i feel like i havent slept in like 3 days....and i really havent had any more than like a half hour at a time. it takes me hours upon hours to finally fall asleep, and when i do i sleep terribly....only for half hours or so at a time, and the slightest noise will wake me up....it really sucks. so yeah...and i think as a biproduct of this not sleeping ive been laying in weird positions, so i have these really weird headaches in the back of my head right at the base of my skull. They feel more like a pulled muscle or something than an actual headache though. they go away for a little while whenever i can manage to get that particular vertibrae to pop.
so i really havent gotten to talk to tessa much in a long time...shes always busy, and when shes not busy, shes hanging out with amber...apparently amber is worried that im not going to like her when i meet her, well i have news, i already dont. I dont care about her rodeos, or her shoe stories, or her baby horses, i dont care. I just want to not have to wait until tessa gets home and is so dead tired i only get to hear hi and goodnight. But that isnt going to happen anytime soon...i dunno, maybe ive done something thats drove her to want to spend more time away from me...but today she called me around 3, we talked for a while and she said she was gonna go eat and take a nap, no problems there, i figured shed call me when she woke up so i could have just little bit more time to spend talking to her before she went to the rodeo. So i just texted her....and oh goody, shes already with amber.
I dont wanna be overbearing and demanding all her time....but just a little bit more of it wouldnt hurt...i mean how much time could she possibly want to spend with her.
So tonight shes going to a rodeo, and i guess wont be home till probably 2:30 or something like that....oh good, i get maybe a half hour to talk to her before shes falling asleep on the phone. saturday is gonna be like the same thing, but probably even less time, since sunday...her only day off in like 2 weeks...shes going into the mountains with her dad. nothing against her dad or her on that, i know she loves going riding. but it was just something to top off a shitty weekend.
so yeah, this is me, going crazy...i need to go to a concert and beat the shit out of some people...i think that might help....wait....NO MONEY....maybe ill con kurt into taking me shooting.
well cheers to all you people out there enjoying your summer, im gonna go smoke for a while and think about what a fucking bum i am.
otherwise, ive been doing all crappy lately...it really sucks not having a job when your girlfriend has 2....i feel like such a fucking bum, but ive been trying my damn hardest to get jobs and ive applied EVERYWHERE except jewel AND ive been following up on the apps....but nothing, there is no place out here that seems to want to hire me, and my mom is getting on my case and it SUCKS. so yeah, i have no money, which means in wont be able to get my computer for school, or rather i wont be able to get ANYTHING for school until i get out there and hopefully manage to get a job. if this keeps up for much longer out here im giving up until i move, there wouldnt be any point in me getting a job if i only keep it for like 4 weeks.
i feel like i havent slept in like 3 days....and i really havent had any more than like a half hour at a time. it takes me hours upon hours to finally fall asleep, and when i do i sleep terribly....only for half hours or so at a time, and the slightest noise will wake me up....it really sucks. so yeah...and i think as a biproduct of this not sleeping ive been laying in weird positions, so i have these really weird headaches in the back of my head right at the base of my skull. They feel more like a pulled muscle or something than an actual headache though. they go away for a little while whenever i can manage to get that particular vertibrae to pop.
so i really havent gotten to talk to tessa much in a long time...shes always busy, and when shes not busy, shes hanging out with amber...apparently amber is worried that im not going to like her when i meet her, well i have news, i already dont. I dont care about her rodeos, or her shoe stories, or her baby horses, i dont care. I just want to not have to wait until tessa gets home and is so dead tired i only get to hear hi and goodnight. But that isnt going to happen anytime soon...i dunno, maybe ive done something thats drove her to want to spend more time away from me...but today she called me around 3, we talked for a while and she said she was gonna go eat and take a nap, no problems there, i figured shed call me when she woke up so i could have just little bit more time to spend talking to her before she went to the rodeo. So i just texted her....and oh goody, shes already with amber.
I dont wanna be overbearing and demanding all her time....but just a little bit more of it wouldnt hurt...i mean how much time could she possibly want to spend with her.
So tonight shes going to a rodeo, and i guess wont be home till probably 2:30 or something like that....oh good, i get maybe a half hour to talk to her before shes falling asleep on the phone. saturday is gonna be like the same thing, but probably even less time, since sunday...her only day off in like 2 weeks...shes going into the mountains with her dad. nothing against her dad or her on that, i know she loves going riding. but it was just something to top off a shitty weekend.
so yeah, this is me, going crazy...i need to go to a concert and beat the shit out of some people...i think that might help....wait....NO MONEY....maybe ill con kurt into taking me shooting.
well cheers to all you people out there enjoying your summer, im gonna go smoke for a while and think about what a fucking bum i am.