Two in love can make it (Take my heart and please don't break it)

[vampirates_rule]

Title: Two in love can make it (Take my heart and please don't break it)(1b/2)
Rating: PG
Beta: paper_teenheart 
Summary: Highschool AU. Gerard is a student teacher, Patrick is sixteen, adorable and eats lunch alone.
Pairing: Patrick/Gerard
Disclaimer: All fiction. I own nothing but my plot.
Author's Note: Had to change it to A and B sections. Post was too large. BLEH

Comments

[emmuzka]

A nice story, but the pedophile-issue (the most interesting angle in the story) is maybe not as throughly thought as it would have deserved. First of all, a pedophile joke among teachers is a way different thing that a student teacher saying that to a student. An actual teacher student should know this and never joke about the issue when the students can heard. Secondary, it was weird that some of the teachers gave Gerard an evil eye after the Patrick incident, and some didn't. This would actually be a very serious matter and affect all the relationships in the teacher room.

But most of all, the issue of if Gerard was a pedophile was left open, t least in this chapter. It would have been a great angle to make Gerard totally fall in love with Patrick and explain his behavior with all kinds of reasons, never truly seeing any wrong in his actions. And then he would have tried to kiss Patrick or somehow else crossed the line from thoughts to actions. MAybe something like that is coming? But I don't think that you were this devious with your plot. Maybe you thought it was romantic? My advice is that if you have a feature in the fic that is so loaded (like being underaged) that it will automatically taken as plot device, then you have to use it as plot device.

Anyway. I hope that this wasn't supposed to be simply romantic. Because a 23 year old teacher lusting after a 16 year old student, and then moving in the same house with him, and this being a-okay? that's seriously creepy. I like creepy fic, but not when the creepiness in unintentional. It would be great that if you would address Gerard's creepiness later in the story.

[vampirates_rule]

I dunno. This chapter was more that Gerard doesn't really acknowledge Patrick's age. Like he's endeared towards him in a way that sort of transcends that and he doesn't (or chooses not to. I haven't quite decided yet) think about any kind of age difference and anyone else thinking about it confuses him a bit because his thought process is 'they know Patrick. therefore they shouldn't be worried'. Like the pedophile joke thing, he feels comfortable in Patrick's presence and feels he's just talking to a friend and when Gerard is talking to Brian he kind of has a glimpse of what he's actually doing and it freaks him out which is why he get's defensive.

The creepiness is totally addressed more in part two, though. No worries ^_^

[emmuzka]

Great, then :) I was afraid that you might see the pedo thing as a plot point but only handle the issue as romantic, which would have hindered the potential of the story and making it creepy. (I have a traumatic experience with this one story where one of the main cople acted possesively and I thought the whole time that this was headig towards a domestic abuse fic, but no, it was only the writer's idea of what was romantic...) Carry on! I will be reading!