nightmare..
so i took a nap this afternoon because i desperately needed it. and of course i had another nightmare. here it goes.
i was taking a trip to europe. got on the plane, got settled, and fell asleep so the trip would be quick. when i got there, whoever it was that i was supposed to meet, wasnt there. i dont even know who i was supposed to be meeting. so anyway, i get nervous, and walk. i start walking around lots of places, asking people questions i dont remember. i have my cell phone with me, and i get some calls from friends i havent talked to in a long time. but when i answer, i have no reception. i try to call cheryl, katie, cory, and my parents.. no luck. after a little longer of walking around i finally ask someone for help, mentioning im from america. it was the american part that got their attention. he mentioned that someone was looking for an american, then pointed over to a platform/walkway thing (it kind of looked like walkways that models use). so i walk to the end of it, and look to the other side where i see someone sitting. this person is wearing a red robe and has short blond/white hair. this person stands up and slowly begins to walk toward me. then i realize who it is. daliah. i started to panic a little bit. she never looks directly at me, but she walks up right in front of me. then she holds out her hand, holding a small, curved, wooden sword. i think she was offering it to me. then i wake up.
when i woke, my heart was pounding, i was sweating, and short of breath. like i had a bad nightmare. it wasnt scary, it was emotional.
i know why.
she is a part of me that i wish i could carve out and leave behind, because i put so much into it, only to have it get poisoned in my heart. i wish i could completely move on, but there is still the small bit of me that wishes it could have gone differently. i thought i had closure, but there is still a sliver.. why does it have to still hurt so much.
i was taking a trip to europe. got on the plane, got settled, and fell asleep so the trip would be quick. when i got there, whoever it was that i was supposed to meet, wasnt there. i dont even know who i was supposed to be meeting. so anyway, i get nervous, and walk. i start walking around lots of places, asking people questions i dont remember. i have my cell phone with me, and i get some calls from friends i havent talked to in a long time. but when i answer, i have no reception. i try to call cheryl, katie, cory, and my parents.. no luck. after a little longer of walking around i finally ask someone for help, mentioning im from america. it was the american part that got their attention. he mentioned that someone was looking for an american, then pointed over to a platform/walkway thing (it kind of looked like walkways that models use). so i walk to the end of it, and look to the other side where i see someone sitting. this person is wearing a red robe and has short blond/white hair. this person stands up and slowly begins to walk toward me. then i realize who it is. daliah. i started to panic a little bit. she never looks directly at me, but she walks up right in front of me. then she holds out her hand, holding a small, curved, wooden sword. i think she was offering it to me. then i wake up.
when i woke, my heart was pounding, i was sweating, and short of breath. like i had a bad nightmare. it wasnt scary, it was emotional.
i know why.
she is a part of me that i wish i could carve out and leave behind, because i put so much into it, only to have it get poisoned in my heart. i wish i could completely move on, but there is still the small bit of me that wishes it could have gone differently. i thought i had closure, but there is still a sliver.. why does it have to still hurt so much.