I stole again
THis was off of a random web site but very funny.
John Cleese was on American TV recently and was asked for the differences between English and American people. In reply he said that there were three differences...
1. We speak English and you don't.
2. When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries.
3. When you meet the head of state in England, you only have to go down on one knee!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Extended outings
The Rev. Jerry Falwell has stepped in to clean up children's television. A couple of weeks ago he 'outed' the apparently homosexual Tinky Winky, a character from the "Teletubbies" show, because:
1) He's purple, the gay color;
2) He has an antenna shaped like a triangle, the gay symbol, and
3) He carries a purse, something all gay people do.
But Falwell's work is far from over. Note the evidence below:
FRED FLINTSONE
His nickname on the Bedrock bowling team is "Twinkle-toes Flintstone."
The show's theme song ends "...we'll have a gay old time!"
He wears an orange dress with little triangles on it.
He hangs out with Barney far more than Wilma.
BUGS BUNNY
Often stands with hand on hip.
Plays a hairdresser in one episode.
Frequently dresses in drag.
Loves to throw on a top hat and tails and belt out Broadway show-tunes
with his buddy Daffy-who, it's worth noting, has a lisp.
Kisses Elmer J. Fudd smack on the mouth all the time.
Wears no pants. (While not gay, this is certainly inappropriate)
POPEYE
Eats lots of salad.
Wears a sailor suit, even though he hasn't been on a ship in years.
Does little sailor-dances.
Dates a flat-chested transvestite named Olive Oyl.
Best friend named Wimpy.
BATMAN & ROBIN
Robin's nickname: Boy Wonder.
Batman's real name: Bruce.
Both wear tights.
Both wear S&M masks.
They're in great shape and clean-shaven.
They like to show each other their "grappling hooks.
PEPPERMINT PATTY (from Peanuts)
Has a deep, gravelly voice.
Wears pants, not dresses like the other Peanuts gals.
Plays a mean game of football, baseball, etc.
Likes to taunt Charlie Brown.
Always hanging out with that androgynous Marcie.
Wears comfortable shoes.
Nickname: Sir.
THE PINK PANTHER
'Nuff said
Let's all keep a lookout for these, and other, devious
and reprobate animated characters.
John Cleese was on American TV recently and was asked for the differences between English and American people. In reply he said that there were three differences...
1. We speak English and you don't.
2. When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries.
3. When you meet the head of state in England, you only have to go down on one knee!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Extended outings
The Rev. Jerry Falwell has stepped in to clean up children's television. A couple of weeks ago he 'outed' the apparently homosexual Tinky Winky, a character from the "Teletubbies" show, because:
1) He's purple, the gay color;
2) He has an antenna shaped like a triangle, the gay symbol, and
3) He carries a purse, something all gay people do.
But Falwell's work is far from over. Note the evidence below:
FRED FLINTSONE
His nickname on the Bedrock bowling team is "Twinkle-toes Flintstone."
The show's theme song ends "...we'll have a gay old time!"
He wears an orange dress with little triangles on it.
He hangs out with Barney far more than Wilma.
BUGS BUNNY
Often stands with hand on hip.
Plays a hairdresser in one episode.
Frequently dresses in drag.
Loves to throw on a top hat and tails and belt out Broadway show-tunes
with his buddy Daffy-who, it's worth noting, has a lisp.
Kisses Elmer J. Fudd smack on the mouth all the time.
Wears no pants. (While not gay, this is certainly inappropriate)
POPEYE
Eats lots of salad.
Wears a sailor suit, even though he hasn't been on a ship in years.
Does little sailor-dances.
Dates a flat-chested transvestite named Olive Oyl.
Best friend named Wimpy.
BATMAN & ROBIN
Robin's nickname: Boy Wonder.
Batman's real name: Bruce.
Both wear tights.
Both wear S&M masks.
They're in great shape and clean-shaven.
They like to show each other their "grappling hooks.
PEPPERMINT PATTY (from Peanuts)
Has a deep, gravelly voice.
Wears pants, not dresses like the other Peanuts gals.
Plays a mean game of football, baseball, etc.
Likes to taunt Charlie Brown.
Always hanging out with that androgynous Marcie.
Wears comfortable shoes.
Nickname: Sir.
THE PINK PANTHER
'Nuff said
Let's all keep a lookout for these, and other, devious
and reprobate animated characters.