Bruuuhahahahaha....or something like that....
*sigh* life is nothing like it once was. I don't even think I could sit here and begin to write what's been going on in my life since the last time I've written in this damn computerized journal, but hey why not I've got nothing else better to do. I'm definatly in Mass somewhere in the boonies with Sam and Dave at these girls house that they picked up at the club. The only reason I'm here is because I'm the only sober one so I have to drive. oh well...my life is for others as it has always been no matter who I hang with i guess that's just what I was made for.
well...I think the last time i expressed my feelings and events was back when donny came home from boot camp (which if I had it my way I would go back to that life) Things were so much easier when donny was away and I was living in a fantasy world of thinking donny and i were going to end up together so I sat around living my life day to day waiting for him to come home so I kept my life as busy as possible with work and school so that I wouldn't notice that he was gone. I had love, money, purpose, and peace. But all of that's gone.
Donny came home and things were wonderful for about a month, but I became fed up with getting nothing soild from our relationship or whatever you wanted to call it. Donny is just a boy that needs to grow up and get things out of his system such as girls. So once i realized what was what i saw an possible oportunity to wedge myself away from donny so I grabed it. Whether it was a good idea or not i couldnt tell you, but it definatly changed my lifestyle. Kyle was a friend of donny's in bootcamp and we ended up getting along and hooking up. He needed a girl here and i needed a rebound to get me back up on my feet again from a 5 year slump. Things were great, fun and exciting, but as always guys get all weirded out about having a friend they can fuck and things fell apart. I met sam through kyle and we became extremely good friends and have remained that way ever since. He's definatly stayed by my side through so much over the past 8 months. He's been there through donny's repetative retardedness, kyle, and our own shit. We hang out all the time and constantly party and drink. He leaves in 2 weeks and I feel so lost already because we've become so damn close, and a big part of me regrets sleeping with him because things lately have been getting complicated because now he feels weird picking up girls in front of me which pisses me off becausethat was our whole thing getting him girls I'm his pimp and he's my ho! haha but ya whatever we've gone to new york together, spent numerous nights at hotels just drinking and hanging out together. he beat someone because they were doing something not nice to me, and just so much more. I don't want to lose him.....he's my best friend right now...god i love this kid...and yes I'm not going to lie or try to hide it but i do love him a little more than a friend, I mean christ he's my best friend with benifits...who wouldn't love someone just tad bit more? Plus there was something very serious that happend between up that will not be discussed on the net, but that in it's self brought us closer than anything. I just care about him with so much feeling it hurts sometimes to look at him because he's leaving and i know I'm going to be a wrech! my drinking buddy is gone, my homer! He's the person no matter what i can call up and he's always up for chilling....gah...this entry makes no sense I'm done...i dont even know why i bother...
ang
well...I think the last time i expressed my feelings and events was back when donny came home from boot camp (which if I had it my way I would go back to that life) Things were so much easier when donny was away and I was living in a fantasy world of thinking donny and i were going to end up together so I sat around living my life day to day waiting for him to come home so I kept my life as busy as possible with work and school so that I wouldn't notice that he was gone. I had love, money, purpose, and peace. But all of that's gone.
Donny came home and things were wonderful for about a month, but I became fed up with getting nothing soild from our relationship or whatever you wanted to call it. Donny is just a boy that needs to grow up and get things out of his system such as girls. So once i realized what was what i saw an possible oportunity to wedge myself away from donny so I grabed it. Whether it was a good idea or not i couldnt tell you, but it definatly changed my lifestyle. Kyle was a friend of donny's in bootcamp and we ended up getting along and hooking up. He needed a girl here and i needed a rebound to get me back up on my feet again from a 5 year slump. Things were great, fun and exciting, but as always guys get all weirded out about having a friend they can fuck and things fell apart. I met sam through kyle and we became extremely good friends and have remained that way ever since. He's definatly stayed by my side through so much over the past 8 months. He's been there through donny's repetative retardedness, kyle, and our own shit. We hang out all the time and constantly party and drink. He leaves in 2 weeks and I feel so lost already because we've become so damn close, and a big part of me regrets sleeping with him because things lately have been getting complicated because now he feels weird picking up girls in front of me which pisses me off becausethat was our whole thing getting him girls I'm his pimp and he's my ho! haha but ya whatever we've gone to new york together, spent numerous nights at hotels just drinking and hanging out together. he beat someone because they were doing something not nice to me, and just so much more. I don't want to lose him.....he's my best friend right now...god i love this kid...and yes I'm not going to lie or try to hide it but i do love him a little more than a friend, I mean christ he's my best friend with benifits...who wouldn't love someone just tad bit more? Plus there was something very serious that happend between up that will not be discussed on the net, but that in it's self brought us closer than anything. I just care about him with so much feeling it hurts sometimes to look at him because he's leaving and i know I'm going to be a wrech! my drinking buddy is gone, my homer! He's the person no matter what i can call up and he's always up for chilling....gah...this entry makes no sense I'm done...i dont even know why i bother...
ang