Suck my brick...
Ain't nothin' like having a fight with a garden hose and a weed-whacker to make your Monday.
The woman in Monrovia turned out to be a wannabe witch. She was stuck at home the other day with her two kids and a shitload of chores to do, and the kids was all up in her her face and being kids. So she decided to go all "Sorcerer's Apprentice" and make the appliances do her work for her.
Didn't seem like that went over too well with the lawn care crowd.
Instead of her lawn getting mowed and watered and her weeds and hedges getting trimmed, everything turned on her and her kids. So she locked herself in her bedroom and tried to get help, but nobody believed her when she said she had some garden shears trying to carve a hole in her bedroom door.
She shoulda said there was a big dirty hoe trying to get in her house. Bet the cops woulda come runnin' then.
She gets her call off to the hotel just in time, right before her phone lines are cut. So I get over there yesterday and all of a sudden, I got hedge clippers flying at my damn head, hoses trying to grab my legs, weed-whackers trying to whack off my...well, you know.
Took me a while. Had to club some of those things into little pieces. But I managed to trap everything back in her shed, just like that Greatest American Hero dude did in that movie about the haunted house. From there, the woman was able to reverse the spell, and all was right with the world.
Glad she wasn't upset I had to trash her lawnmower.
'Course, I get back to the hotel, and ain't nothin' changed with the damn brick. Wes and Fred still staring at it like it gonna give 'em the winning Lotto ticket or something.
I tell 'em they gotta take a break, 'cause ain't nothing gonna happen while they just staring at it. They look up at me like I some sort of fool. And yeah, that's when it started to glow.
That's all it's been doing, though, ever since this afternoon. No map, so path, no nothing. It's a friggin' twelve-pound night light, for all that it's doing us.
I say we turn the news on. Something weird comes up on the news, we got a good idea what the problem is. Hell, maybe KCAL's got some better information than the damn brick...
The woman in Monrovia turned out to be a wannabe witch. She was stuck at home the other day with her two kids and a shitload of chores to do, and the kids was all up in her her face and being kids. So she decided to go all "Sorcerer's Apprentice" and make the appliances do her work for her.
Didn't seem like that went over too well with the lawn care crowd.
Instead of her lawn getting mowed and watered and her weeds and hedges getting trimmed, everything turned on her and her kids. So she locked herself in her bedroom and tried to get help, but nobody believed her when she said she had some garden shears trying to carve a hole in her bedroom door.
She shoulda said there was a big dirty hoe trying to get in her house. Bet the cops woulda come runnin' then.
She gets her call off to the hotel just in time, right before her phone lines are cut. So I get over there yesterday and all of a sudden, I got hedge clippers flying at my damn head, hoses trying to grab my legs, weed-whackers trying to whack off my...well, you know.
Took me a while. Had to club some of those things into little pieces. But I managed to trap everything back in her shed, just like that Greatest American Hero dude did in that movie about the haunted house. From there, the woman was able to reverse the spell, and all was right with the world.
Glad she wasn't upset I had to trash her lawnmower.
'Course, I get back to the hotel, and ain't nothin' changed with the damn brick. Wes and Fred still staring at it like it gonna give 'em the winning Lotto ticket or something.
I tell 'em they gotta take a break, 'cause ain't nothing gonna happen while they just staring at it. They look up at me like I some sort of fool. And yeah, that's when it started to glow.
That's all it's been doing, though, ever since this afternoon. No map, so path, no nothing. It's a friggin' twelve-pound night light, for all that it's doing us.
I say we turn the news on. Something weird comes up on the news, we got a good idea what the problem is. Hell, maybe KCAL's got some better information than the damn brick...