The road to Christmas '07!
Ok ok, so I'm unreliable and shouldn't be trusted when it comes to setting times or dates. Yea,yea,yea. If you know me, this shouldn't be all that surprising but I still apologize.
So, here we are. Finally. Getting very close to Christmas, and I'm loving every minute of it. I've taken it upon myself to do some sort of Christmas-like activity every day until the big 25 and will be updating that pretty regularly (see, if I don't specity then nobody's disappointed). But my main project is going to be the Playmobil Calendar Story. See, I had a strong impulse to buy one of these magical calendars that show you something new every morning until Christmas (say, a piece of chocolate, or a sticker). It's a good way to get (more) excited for the holidays. And I just had to have one. After driving for 4+ hours around northeast Ohio, however, I came up empty-handed. Nobody stocked them...which made my heart a little sad.
So I came home and did what I should have done in the first place: order online. Sounds good on paper until you still find an overwhelming lack of them. Aside from chocolate pieces for 24 days (yuck) there wasn't much variety. And then I saw this:
And I just had to have it. I mean, there's nothing much better than getting a new toy every day until Christmas. It makes me feel all young-like again.
Now, every day (I hope) I plan to add a new chapter to the tale of our fun Playmobil friends and their adventures. I've finished the first one but, while you read it, just pretend that today is Thursday the 6th. It'll make more sense. I'll churn out the rest here sometime tonight (I hope) so we can get all caught up, but until then, I hope you enjoy:
'Twas nineteen nights before Christmas
And all through the park
Not a single sound was there
Not even a bark!
From near and from far
You could definitely tell
That Christmas this year
Would be calm,slow, and swell...
GET BACK HERE YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Sgt. Jay Dubya: I said come back here!
Napalm: Hahaha, you'll never catch me, copper! Have you seen what I'm wearing? This is blood. I'm that hardcore.
Sgt. Jay Dubya: Not hardcore enough to stop me from shooting you!
Napalm: You're intended for ages 2-8, you wouldn't do that.
Sgt. Jay Dubya Wanna bet?
Napalm: C'mon, jeeves, is that all you got?
Sgt. Jay Dubya: (...Damn, I should've brought the Uzi.)
Napalm: If I had a tongue, I would be sticking it out about now. Gleefully.
Napalm: Ow.
Sgt. Jay Dubya: Huh, well that was lucky.
Jay Dubya: I won't let you out of my sight again.
Napalm: What do you mean by that?
Jay Dubya: Uh, what do you mean "what do you mean"?
Napalm: Well when you said you wouldn't let me out of your sight, I assumed you were referring to some sort of crazy dominatrix scenario, and that I'd have to be like... your slave or something.
Jay Dubya: ...How did you possibly come up with that?
Napalm: Well you are in uniform.
Jay Dubya: Oh, I suppose that's true. No, sorry, I was speaking strictly in a policial sense.
Napalm: Oh. Ok then....I just thought that...
Jay Dubya: But not that I wouldn't mind though!
Napalm: :)
Napalm: I wonder what this is?
Jay Dubya: ...
Napalm: Uh-oh, you just ellipsed. What do you think it is?
Jay Dubya: This looks just like the Number 6 Box from the Playmobil Advent Calendar. But I- I always thought it was just a legend. They say that long ago Santa Claus himself created a calendar, and locked away his most precious items in 24 numbered boxes so that they wouldn't fall into the wrong hands.
Napalm: ...Really?
Jay Dubya: Yep.
Napalm: Hmm...alright then.
Jay Dubya: What? What is it?
Napalm: I think I was just expecting more, is all. When you said legend I was hoping for "Bruce Lee", but you just gave me "John Goodman".
Jay Dubya: But you don't understand! There is more to it! Don't you see? The box is opened. Nobody has ever been able to open these boxes.They're usually sealed until the first of December every year. It's only then that anyone even has a chance of opening it, but nobody's been able to. Until now.
Napalm: That must be some quality craftmanship. We must be pretty important, then, for it to open for us...but what would Santa want to hide that's so important? I mean, it's not like he's rolling in dough...he only works one day out of 364.
Jay Dubya: I don't know, but it must be something REALLY important, like...
a baby carriage.
Napalm: Well I gotta say I'm a little disappointed.
Jay Dubya: Well m-maybe it's more than a carriage. *gasp* Maybe it's Jesus' carriage.
Napalm: Santa wouldn't do that to Jesus. That's pretty low.
Jay Dubya: Yea, I suppose you're right.
Napalm: Well maybe one of the other boxes has a "good" present.
Jay Dubya: No! We mustn't upset the balance. Who knows what would happen if we open the presents out of order?! Chaos, genocide, 7th Heaven getting renewed for another season!
Napalm: Well then, what should we do with this one?
Jay Dubya: Well, I think I have an idea...but for it to work I'm going to need to take off the cuffs for for a minute. I hope you don't mind.
Napalm: ...No. No, of course not.
Jay Dubya: Woo! Now this is what I'm talking about. It brings me right back to my childhood. It's so much fun that I almost forget that I'm in the presence of one of the country's most wanted criminals. But surely he can't be as bas as they all say...? He certainly seems nice to me.
*Clamp*
Jay Dubya: What was that noise?
Napalm: Oh, ya know, just the wind.
Napalm: And the sound of your doom! *push*
Jay Dubya: Ahhhhh!
Napalm: Now to get those presents!
Napalm: Phew! Magically having these boxes appear and looking as if I had brought them by hand is harder than I thought. Now, something tells this should be the part where I reconsider what Jay Dubya told me:
Voice of Jay Dubya: "We mustn't upset the balance." "...7th Heaven getting renewed for another season."
Napalm: Hmm. Well, there's always the possibility of Jessica Biel making a cameo...and how that can be seen as a bad thing, I don't understand. Sorry, copper.
Napalm: Well these don't seem to be too evil. They're almost borderline adorable :)
Napalm: Here you go, little fella. A nice tree for ya.
Napalm: And these are for you, just tuppence a bag :)
I don't know what Jay Dubya was talking about. This is hardly earth-shattering stuff. I mean, I've seen episodes of Hannah Montana that pack more action. So I don't see the harm in opening this one, lone, elongated box that somehow didn't open with the other 4. I think I'll take a peek...
Crow: Caw! Caw!! CAW!! CA- Ah, hell, this never works. Kid, good luck with that. I'm outtie.
"SOMEONE JUST MADE A BIG MISTAKE"
Napalm: Uh-oh.
MEANWHILE:
What will happen with Sgt. Jay Dubya? Did he survive that fateful miscarriage or is he doomed, never to return to Christmas Park? And what exactly is in Number 4 Box? Is 7th Heaven still on the air? And how will this all affect the contents of Number 7 box? Stay tuned for this and more...
TO BE CONTINUED...
So, here we are. Finally. Getting very close to Christmas, and I'm loving every minute of it. I've taken it upon myself to do some sort of Christmas-like activity every day until the big 25 and will be updating that pretty regularly (see, if I don't specity then nobody's disappointed). But my main project is going to be the Playmobil Calendar Story. See, I had a strong impulse to buy one of these magical calendars that show you something new every morning until Christmas (say, a piece of chocolate, or a sticker). It's a good way to get (more) excited for the holidays. And I just had to have one. After driving for 4+ hours around northeast Ohio, however, I came up empty-handed. Nobody stocked them...which made my heart a little sad.
So I came home and did what I should have done in the first place: order online. Sounds good on paper until you still find an overwhelming lack of them. Aside from chocolate pieces for 24 days (yuck) there wasn't much variety. And then I saw this:
And I just had to have it. I mean, there's nothing much better than getting a new toy every day until Christmas. It makes me feel all young-like again.
Now, every day (I hope) I plan to add a new chapter to the tale of our fun Playmobil friends and their adventures. I've finished the first one but, while you read it, just pretend that today is Thursday the 6th. It'll make more sense. I'll churn out the rest here sometime tonight (I hope) so we can get all caught up, but until then, I hope you enjoy:
'Twas nineteen nights before Christmas
And all through the park
Not a single sound was there
Not even a bark!
From near and from far
You could definitely tell
That Christmas this year
Would be calm,slow, and swell...
GET BACK HERE YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Sgt. Jay Dubya: I said come back here!
Napalm: Hahaha, you'll never catch me, copper! Have you seen what I'm wearing? This is blood. I'm that hardcore.
Sgt. Jay Dubya: Not hardcore enough to stop me from shooting you!
Napalm: You're intended for ages 2-8, you wouldn't do that.
Sgt. Jay Dubya Wanna bet?
Napalm: C'mon, jeeves, is that all you got?
Sgt. Jay Dubya: (...Damn, I should've brought the Uzi.)
Napalm: If I had a tongue, I would be sticking it out about now. Gleefully.
Napalm: Ow.
Sgt. Jay Dubya: Huh, well that was lucky.
Jay Dubya: I won't let you out of my sight again.
Napalm: What do you mean by that?
Jay Dubya: Uh, what do you mean "what do you mean"?
Napalm: Well when you said you wouldn't let me out of your sight, I assumed you were referring to some sort of crazy dominatrix scenario, and that I'd have to be like... your slave or something.
Jay Dubya: ...How did you possibly come up with that?
Napalm: Well you are in uniform.
Jay Dubya: Oh, I suppose that's true. No, sorry, I was speaking strictly in a policial sense.
Napalm: Oh. Ok then....I just thought that...
Jay Dubya: But not that I wouldn't mind though!
Napalm: :)
Napalm: I wonder what this is?
Jay Dubya: ...
Napalm: Uh-oh, you just ellipsed. What do you think it is?
Jay Dubya: This looks just like the Number 6 Box from the Playmobil Advent Calendar. But I- I always thought it was just a legend. They say that long ago Santa Claus himself created a calendar, and locked away his most precious items in 24 numbered boxes so that they wouldn't fall into the wrong hands.
Napalm: ...Really?
Jay Dubya: Yep.
Napalm: Hmm...alright then.
Jay Dubya: What? What is it?
Napalm: I think I was just expecting more, is all. When you said legend I was hoping for "Bruce Lee", but you just gave me "John Goodman".
Jay Dubya: But you don't understand! There is more to it! Don't you see? The box is opened. Nobody has ever been able to open these boxes.They're usually sealed until the first of December every year. It's only then that anyone even has a chance of opening it, but nobody's been able to. Until now.
Napalm: That must be some quality craftmanship. We must be pretty important, then, for it to open for us...but what would Santa want to hide that's so important? I mean, it's not like he's rolling in dough...he only works one day out of 364.
Jay Dubya: I don't know, but it must be something REALLY important, like...
a baby carriage.
Napalm: Well I gotta say I'm a little disappointed.
Jay Dubya: Well m-maybe it's more than a carriage. *gasp* Maybe it's Jesus' carriage.
Napalm: Santa wouldn't do that to Jesus. That's pretty low.
Jay Dubya: Yea, I suppose you're right.
Napalm: Well maybe one of the other boxes has a "good" present.
Jay Dubya: No! We mustn't upset the balance. Who knows what would happen if we open the presents out of order?! Chaos, genocide, 7th Heaven getting renewed for another season!
Napalm: Well then, what should we do with this one?
Jay Dubya: Well, I think I have an idea...but for it to work I'm going to need to take off the cuffs for for a minute. I hope you don't mind.
Napalm: ...No. No, of course not.
Jay Dubya: Woo! Now this is what I'm talking about. It brings me right back to my childhood. It's so much fun that I almost forget that I'm in the presence of one of the country's most wanted criminals. But surely he can't be as bas as they all say...? He certainly seems nice to me.
*Clamp*
Jay Dubya: What was that noise?
Napalm: Oh, ya know, just the wind.
Napalm: And the sound of your doom! *push*
Jay Dubya: Ahhhhh!
Napalm: Now to get those presents!
Napalm: Phew! Magically having these boxes appear and looking as if I had brought them by hand is harder than I thought. Now, something tells this should be the part where I reconsider what Jay Dubya told me:
Voice of Jay Dubya: "We mustn't upset the balance." "...7th Heaven getting renewed for another season."
Napalm: Hmm. Well, there's always the possibility of Jessica Biel making a cameo...and how that can be seen as a bad thing, I don't understand. Sorry, copper.
Napalm: Well these don't seem to be too evil. They're almost borderline adorable :)
Napalm: Here you go, little fella. A nice tree for ya.
Napalm: And these are for you, just tuppence a bag :)
I don't know what Jay Dubya was talking about. This is hardly earth-shattering stuff. I mean, I've seen episodes of Hannah Montana that pack more action. So I don't see the harm in opening this one, lone, elongated box that somehow didn't open with the other 4. I think I'll take a peek...
Crow: Caw! Caw!! CAW!! CA- Ah, hell, this never works. Kid, good luck with that. I'm outtie.
"SOMEONE JUST MADE A BIG MISTAKE"
Napalm: Uh-oh.
MEANWHILE:
What will happen with Sgt. Jay Dubya? Did he survive that fateful miscarriage or is he doomed, never to return to Christmas Park? And what exactly is in Number 4 Box? Is 7th Heaven still on the air? And how will this all affect the contents of Number 7 box? Stay tuned for this and more...
TO BE CONTINUED...