Mar 17, 2006 21:46
How do you really know what love is?? I was talking to Kristy about this the other day. I mean how do u know when the person that you have is the one. I was telling her that to me love is just something that not very many people are lucky enough to experience. I mean these day you've got lil fourth and fifth graders running around telling everyone that there lil boyfriend or girlfriend they love them. I mean I know that isn't love. I guess to me Love was always when you found someone and you were with that person, it feels like it's just you two in the room. Everyone else disappears. When you kiss that person, there are fireworks in the air, and something inside of you just clicks, and you are like oh my gosh! This is unbelievable. I mean I for one have yet to experience love. I mean when I was with Josh, everything just fell into place. The conversation was easy, it seemed like we fit. When we were laying on Kristys futon I wanted to lay with him forever. I didn't want him to go back, and now I'm paying the price. It just feels like I'm losing him. I didn't want him to go, and now that he's gone I don't know when he is going to come back. And if he does come back is he going to feel the same way about me, that I feel about him. I guess that's the one thing that I'm worried about. It scares me that I care so much about him. I mean I cry myself to sleep almost every night, knowing that he's down in Alabama, and he doesn't have a clue how I feel. I can never get a hold of him either. When I do call either no one answers or he's sleeping or working.
I was thinking the other night that I have to call him and tell him that I at least miss him. Then I was thinking that the next time he comes up here, and if he still feels the same way about me, and everything that it doesn't scare me as much as I thought it would for me to tell him the other things I want to tell him. Maybe I'm crazy to feel this way about him, considering that I've only known him for a short time, but then there’s another side of me that says I'm not. I don't know what to think anymore. All I know is that I really do like him. He's a sweet guy, and like I’ve said before I guess I'm just gonna wait and see if things happen naturally.
Other than I'm still very excited about going to Chicago. It will be Kristy, Me and Debbie. I hope that Debbie knows that just because she is the grown up going, that I don't have to listen to her to a certain extent. Oh well.. It should be a good time, Kristy and I are gonna live it up, and have a hell of time.
Alright I'm off. Gotta wash some clothes.
Night <3
~*Valerie Jean*~