Thoughts on fic
For once I feel like babbling in this journal.
So, I was re-reading Sandy's When I Sleep You are Near to Me and it got me wondering. See I used to never be a fan of "slash with kids" fic. When the protagonists got married, had a family, and had to deal with normal everyday life? I bailed. Now, of course, that's changed a little. (Popslash has taken almost every single one of my squicks and killed them. I still have the nickname squick but it's on a quickly diminishing list. Man, the power of the sparkly.)
I really like this story. In fact, there are a few other "sparkly with kids" fic that I adore. But I have yet to find a marriage one that I can learn to love. I was trying to figure it out, because those genres don't seem all that removed from each other. So why can I learn to love one and still run like hell from the other?
I think, what it boils down to for me, is that the marriage fics don't read as "real" to me. Or, rather, they do read as "real" but, more accurately, as "real for women". It's not that I don't think men want to get married. I know they do. (Of course, the societal pressures are completely different but that's not the point.) It's certainly not that I think gay men don't want to get married. Recent events in San Francisco and Mass. have certainly proven that marriage is just as important to gay men as it is to anyone else.
The problem for me is that "marriage" fic reads as female fantasy. The stories I've read (and I'm certain there are good ones out there that aren't like this so feel free to direct me to them, if you wish) seem to be written as the female writer's ideal wedding (idealized wedding?). More than any other subgenre in slash the marriage fic brings out the inherent femininity of the writer. The characters, who in every other sub-genre (under the care of a good writer) are ably depicted as "men", become completely feminized in marriage fic. They cry (which isn't only a female quality but seems to be used as a feminizing device), they fuss (same applies), and do what most women seem to do on wedding days. Even the "straight" friends of the gay couple seem to adopt these traits.
I'm not sure if this is a truth of the genre or simply my own gut reaction to it. Is it that I associate these actions/situations so firmly in the female zone that I can't break out of it and so my readings are tainted? Or is it that the writers themselves are trapped in that gender snag?
I feel like I probably come off as a jackass but I am curious. I have this gut reaction to marriage fic, just an immediate groan. And I do think it's because the characters lose that essential maleness (in my mind) that so attracts me to slash in the first place. If slash is my way of creating an ideal male/ideal relationship is it then a symptom that I have issues with marriage? Or is that marriage is so intrinsically tied to society's views on the female that even the writer can't seem to break past that?
Thoughts? Anyone? Bueller?
So, I was re-reading Sandy's When I Sleep You are Near to Me and it got me wondering. See I used to never be a fan of "slash with kids" fic. When the protagonists got married, had a family, and had to deal with normal everyday life? I bailed. Now, of course, that's changed a little. (Popslash has taken almost every single one of my squicks and killed them. I still have the nickname squick but it's on a quickly diminishing list. Man, the power of the sparkly.)
I really like this story. In fact, there are a few other "sparkly with kids" fic that I adore. But I have yet to find a marriage one that I can learn to love. I was trying to figure it out, because those genres don't seem all that removed from each other. So why can I learn to love one and still run like hell from the other?
I think, what it boils down to for me, is that the marriage fics don't read as "real" to me. Or, rather, they do read as "real" but, more accurately, as "real for women". It's not that I don't think men want to get married. I know they do. (Of course, the societal pressures are completely different but that's not the point.) It's certainly not that I think gay men don't want to get married. Recent events in San Francisco and Mass. have certainly proven that marriage is just as important to gay men as it is to anyone else.
The problem for me is that "marriage" fic reads as female fantasy. The stories I've read (and I'm certain there are good ones out there that aren't like this so feel free to direct me to them, if you wish) seem to be written as the female writer's ideal wedding (idealized wedding?). More than any other subgenre in slash the marriage fic brings out the inherent femininity of the writer. The characters, who in every other sub-genre (under the care of a good writer) are ably depicted as "men", become completely feminized in marriage fic. They cry (which isn't only a female quality but seems to be used as a feminizing device), they fuss (same applies), and do what most women seem to do on wedding days. Even the "straight" friends of the gay couple seem to adopt these traits.
I'm not sure if this is a truth of the genre or simply my own gut reaction to it. Is it that I associate these actions/situations so firmly in the female zone that I can't break out of it and so my readings are tainted? Or is it that the writers themselves are trapped in that gender snag?
I feel like I probably come off as a jackass but I am curious. I have this gut reaction to marriage fic, just an immediate groan. And I do think it's because the characters lose that essential maleness (in my mind) that so attracts me to slash in the first place. If slash is my way of creating an ideal male/ideal relationship is it then a symptom that I have issues with marriage? Or is that marriage is so intrinsically tied to society's views on the female that even the writer can't seem to break past that?
Thoughts? Anyone? Bueller?