(no subject)
God I'm such a lurker. I haven't posted on here in 6 months, other than the random comment in someone else's journal. I don't even post that much on Facebook, which caters to my laziness in terms of not being willing to turn simple thoughts into long-form monologue. It's not that I don't have anything to say (anybody who spends a fair bit of time with me in person can attest that I am rarely lost for words), but more that I am often not in a position to share when shareable words come to me, or put another way, thoughts I want to put forth to the world most often occur to me when I'm not near a computer. This is one reason I take great pleasure in FB's mobile post abilities.
Additionally, I will regularly read someone else's post and have thoughts on the matter, but as I scroll through the comments before I post, I realize that all of my salient points have already been stated by one or more people. And I hate just saying "I agree with what X had to say about this," because to my ears that sounds like "I want the attention of making a comment, but have nothing pertinent to add." Trust me when I say that I do read nearly all posts on my friends page.
Another reason I don't post as much occurred to me while reading a post from a friend (who is far stronger than she gives herself credit for). Growing up, I was aways taught to be incredibly independent, and this was even further reinforced by the facts that I was a latchkey kid and got picked on regularly. I have never enjoyed feeling like I had to rely on others, and moreso, I hate feeling like I place a burden on others. Later in life, I then had several relationships where I felt I had to help someone become a stronger person, and as a result, I felt I couldn't show weakness lest I let them down.
The result of all this is that I am often quite hesitant to discuss things that are causing me problems or, at best, I may only refer to them obliquely. And it's certainly not that I think nobody cares; I have some great friends who take care of each other. Rather, I understand that they have their own problems to deal with, and I don't want to trouble them any further by tossing my issues into the mix. And yes, I realize that my friends wouldn't see it that way and want to help me just as much as I want to help them, but nonetheless, I've thought that way for so long that it's proving difficult to break.
Anyway, I'm still alive, I'm still out there, and I'm always paying attention. Just because I don't comment doesn't mean I don't read.
Additionally, I will regularly read someone else's post and have thoughts on the matter, but as I scroll through the comments before I post, I realize that all of my salient points have already been stated by one or more people. And I hate just saying "I agree with what X had to say about this," because to my ears that sounds like "I want the attention of making a comment, but have nothing pertinent to add." Trust me when I say that I do read nearly all posts on my friends page.
Another reason I don't post as much occurred to me while reading a post from a friend (who is far stronger than she gives herself credit for). Growing up, I was aways taught to be incredibly independent, and this was even further reinforced by the facts that I was a latchkey kid and got picked on regularly. I have never enjoyed feeling like I had to rely on others, and moreso, I hate feeling like I place a burden on others. Later in life, I then had several relationships where I felt I had to help someone become a stronger person, and as a result, I felt I couldn't show weakness lest I let them down.
The result of all this is that I am often quite hesitant to discuss things that are causing me problems or, at best, I may only refer to them obliquely. And it's certainly not that I think nobody cares; I have some great friends who take care of each other. Rather, I understand that they have their own problems to deal with, and I don't want to trouble them any further by tossing my issues into the mix. And yes, I realize that my friends wouldn't see it that way and want to help me just as much as I want to help them, but nonetheless, I've thought that way for so long that it's proving difficult to break.
Anyway, I'm still alive, I'm still out there, and I'm always paying attention. Just because I don't comment doesn't mean I don't read.