(no subject)
an optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. a pessimist stays up to make sure the old one leaves.
when hearing this it made me chuckle. i kinda felt like i was doing both.
the year 2005 had its many ups and downs.
thinking back..this may be difficult for me so im trying my best and forgive me if i forget something...lets get started.
the first things of 2005 (beginning wise) i can remember...here we go.
-i had a dear friend move to a far away place. i really broke my heart knowing that i wouldnt be able to see him for a really long time and knowing things were different. we stayed in touch as much as possible but things just werent good enough. to make a long story short, finally he moved back and things seemed as if they were going to be good. wrong. we've grown apart and have seperate lives. it really does kill me everyday not talking to him or seeing him. things are different and it makes me sad. i fucking miss your guts.
-next was a fallout with a best friend. we just drifted, things leaked, emotions changed, feelings were hurt. honestly if i had one regret i could go back and change, it would be this. i wish i didnt act so immature and let things get the worse of me. i wish i didnt hold a grudge and didnt make you feel like shit. thinking back on how rediculous it really was pisses me off and im still kicking my own ass because of it. ive never felt so hurt, not by a certain person, but by myself. by myself knowing i was such a horrible being. i truely am sorry, and you know who you are. we've grown apart and went our seperate ways. over the summer we talked a handful of times and nothing was the same. finally coming into the school year and months after we began to have normal conversations again. it makes me so happy to know we are friends, not as good as we used to be, but atleast friends. you are a dear friend to me, always have been, always will. i spent the better half of my high school career with you and wouldnt change it for a thing. i fucking love you. im grateful to have you as a friend and so so so so soo happy for you. you have an amazing boyfriend that makes you feel like you're on top of the world, you know what...you deserve it. i hope nothing but the best for you in 2006 and hope we can continue to stay friends and become close again.
moving on.
summer.
ah sweet summer.
summer time
-row- and i bonded the most. row basically becoming my other half. we had many late night talks, bonded on things i never thought i couldnt relate to with another being, laughing at the stupidiest shit possible. just amazing. we shared our creepiness and retarded thoughts, and stilll do. thank you row i love you very much and i know i can talk to you about anything.
we met some cool kids and became friends with them. basically i spent my entire summer with those three and later joined by angela, alesia, and jackie.
-spencer and ryan- wow. these boys kept me on my toes. it was just refreshing hanging out with them. new faces, new stories, just amazing. i wouldnt change anything. amazing kids. late night visits, sleepovers, six flags, wrestling matches, and whatever other adventures came our way were amazing. thank you for an amazing summer. you two still mean a lot to me even though we dont talk anymore. i wish nothing but the best for you two.
-angela-even though you updated your journal twice about 2005 and put everyone and their uncle in yours EXCEPT me. its okay. i understand. angela you are a working dog. you spent most of your summer working your ass off because youre dedicated. i would never be able to stick to a job (especially mine) all summer. congrats to you, im very proud of you. other than that, you spent it with this bitch. :) i love you for ever and ever. you are my best friend. sure we have our differences and fallouts but yet we come back as one helping each other through our problems. you are a crazy motherfucker. although you go crazy and embarass me at times, after the bitching and complaining i do secretly enjoy it. you bring me laughter and joy. you are unique and have a creative personalitly. you sing your heart out even though your voice isnt the best and you dont give a fuck. i admire you for all of this. i love you and i hope we stay close.
-alesia-words cannot describe you. you are fucking awesome. lol. alesia i love you so much. you are creepy and funny as fuck and just awesome. you have an amazing personality and are just amazing. i love you and all your qualities. im so glad we became better friends over the summer and spent the better part of the year together. from little trips to noodles, to sleepovers in my parents bedroom. i love every aspect about you and hope you dont change a damn thing about you. i fucking love you.
-jackie-my amazon woman. redheaded lover. fire crotch. whatever you want to call yourself, you are the shit. i make fun of you out of love and you know it. i miss our sleepovers just to watching orange county. POODY. damn straight. i fucking love you, you are as immature as i am. you are a horny ass mother fucking pervert, just like me. lol i fucking love you. once again we got put in com arts together and we are unstoppable. slackers r us, and yet we are okay with it because we have mr yasko fucking whipped. i mean who else can glues down teachers papers to their desk, get out of class for almost two weeks, not do any work, get him to glue a feather to his head so we can take a picture of it, call him chief, and yet get good grades and be his favorite students. no one. i love our stupid moments and realizing that we are going to hell together for being the worse people in the world. lol. we hate our lives together and yet laugh at them together. i love you jack-y. :-D
i dont think ive had a better summer.
september was thee shittest month of 2005. nothing good came out of it. the only thing that can describe summer is one song. although they used to be gold, they sold out, became over popular and over played, green days 'wake me up when september ends' basically sums it up.
one song that got me though the hard times of september/2005 was imogen and heaps 'hide and seek' the song is so emotionally into you. i cant describe it.
work. oh boy. thats right, valerie was forced into the work force. i can truely say boo brennans. i dislike it. i dont enjoy stuck up brookfield people. i hate hate HATE driving bluemound everyday, people dont know how the fuck to drive, it pisses me off to no end. if it werent for the people, id quit. my boss is a douchebag everyone else is amazing as fuck. i seriously cant take it. i love them.
i realized why ive been so...me infront of people. why im 'coming out of my shell' why im talking to the people i talk to/want to hang out with the freshman boys. the only way i can put it is im going through a mid senior year crisis. school-school is the same old shit. same faces, same bullshit lies being fed to us. i so badly want to get out, but yet thinking about not knowing whats coming next scares the shit out of me. having this security blanket for all these years is slowly being to be ripped away. i dont want to fail at my future and become a burnout. i dont want to start school and drop out and keep telling myself ill get back to it knowing deep down im really not going to and end up working at a shitty dead end job getting wasted every night telling myself im living it up. i want to make something of myself. so to get to what i have to say, im just trying to get out my immaturity and stupidity and just bullshit out of me before its too late. i dont want to regret anything. i just want to live it up right now.
on that note.
-kim mews- i fucking love you. you are such a pimp. dont ever think im using you in anyway possible. im really not. i love you and enjoy your company. seriously if you ever want to hang out please let me know, id love to hang out with you. you are hillarious and just fucking enjoyable. no doubt, i wish good things for you.
please, i hope no one gets offended by what was or was not said or if someone was or was not mentioned. everyting is just shooting out of me fast and this is what came out.
in 2006 i would like to not be such a negative nancy. i wish to be more patient with people. also i am going to show the real me. i broke out of my shell and now time will tell. i have set some personal goals for myself as well i will give myself daily reminders to do the best i can for each and every one of my goals.
"many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits"
to conclude i would like to say i hope the best to everyone in 2006 and hope good come to you and whatever you do. please make good choices and dont keep up old habits. lets make it the best yet. nothing but love to everyone. peace.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH LEANNE
ps. it doesnt have to be friends only
when hearing this it made me chuckle. i kinda felt like i was doing both.
the year 2005 had its many ups and downs.
thinking back..this may be difficult for me so im trying my best and forgive me if i forget something...lets get started.
the first things of 2005 (beginning wise) i can remember...here we go.
-i had a dear friend move to a far away place. i really broke my heart knowing that i wouldnt be able to see him for a really long time and knowing things were different. we stayed in touch as much as possible but things just werent good enough. to make a long story short, finally he moved back and things seemed as if they were going to be good. wrong. we've grown apart and have seperate lives. it really does kill me everyday not talking to him or seeing him. things are different and it makes me sad. i fucking miss your guts.
-next was a fallout with a best friend. we just drifted, things leaked, emotions changed, feelings were hurt. honestly if i had one regret i could go back and change, it would be this. i wish i didnt act so immature and let things get the worse of me. i wish i didnt hold a grudge and didnt make you feel like shit. thinking back on how rediculous it really was pisses me off and im still kicking my own ass because of it. ive never felt so hurt, not by a certain person, but by myself. by myself knowing i was such a horrible being. i truely am sorry, and you know who you are. we've grown apart and went our seperate ways. over the summer we talked a handful of times and nothing was the same. finally coming into the school year and months after we began to have normal conversations again. it makes me so happy to know we are friends, not as good as we used to be, but atleast friends. you are a dear friend to me, always have been, always will. i spent the better half of my high school career with you and wouldnt change it for a thing. i fucking love you. im grateful to have you as a friend and so so so so soo happy for you. you have an amazing boyfriend that makes you feel like you're on top of the world, you know what...you deserve it. i hope nothing but the best for you in 2006 and hope we can continue to stay friends and become close again.
moving on.
summer.
ah sweet summer.
summer time
-row- and i bonded the most. row basically becoming my other half. we had many late night talks, bonded on things i never thought i couldnt relate to with another being, laughing at the stupidiest shit possible. just amazing. we shared our creepiness and retarded thoughts, and stilll do. thank you row i love you very much and i know i can talk to you about anything.
we met some cool kids and became friends with them. basically i spent my entire summer with those three and later joined by angela, alesia, and jackie.
-spencer and ryan- wow. these boys kept me on my toes. it was just refreshing hanging out with them. new faces, new stories, just amazing. i wouldnt change anything. amazing kids. late night visits, sleepovers, six flags, wrestling matches, and whatever other adventures came our way were amazing. thank you for an amazing summer. you two still mean a lot to me even though we dont talk anymore. i wish nothing but the best for you two.
-angela-even though you updated your journal twice about 2005 and put everyone and their uncle in yours EXCEPT me. its okay. i understand. angela you are a working dog. you spent most of your summer working your ass off because youre dedicated. i would never be able to stick to a job (especially mine) all summer. congrats to you, im very proud of you. other than that, you spent it with this bitch. :) i love you for ever and ever. you are my best friend. sure we have our differences and fallouts but yet we come back as one helping each other through our problems. you are a crazy motherfucker. although you go crazy and embarass me at times, after the bitching and complaining i do secretly enjoy it. you bring me laughter and joy. you are unique and have a creative personalitly. you sing your heart out even though your voice isnt the best and you dont give a fuck. i admire you for all of this. i love you and i hope we stay close.
-alesia-words cannot describe you. you are fucking awesome. lol. alesia i love you so much. you are creepy and funny as fuck and just awesome. you have an amazing personality and are just amazing. i love you and all your qualities. im so glad we became better friends over the summer and spent the better part of the year together. from little trips to noodles, to sleepovers in my parents bedroom. i love every aspect about you and hope you dont change a damn thing about you. i fucking love you.
-jackie-my amazon woman. redheaded lover. fire crotch. whatever you want to call yourself, you are the shit. i make fun of you out of love and you know it. i miss our sleepovers just to watching orange county. POODY. damn straight. i fucking love you, you are as immature as i am. you are a horny ass mother fucking pervert, just like me. lol i fucking love you. once again we got put in com arts together and we are unstoppable. slackers r us, and yet we are okay with it because we have mr yasko fucking whipped. i mean who else can glues down teachers papers to their desk, get out of class for almost two weeks, not do any work, get him to glue a feather to his head so we can take a picture of it, call him chief, and yet get good grades and be his favorite students. no one. i love our stupid moments and realizing that we are going to hell together for being the worse people in the world. lol. we hate our lives together and yet laugh at them together. i love you jack-y. :-D
i dont think ive had a better summer.
september was thee shittest month of 2005. nothing good came out of it. the only thing that can describe summer is one song. although they used to be gold, they sold out, became over popular and over played, green days 'wake me up when september ends' basically sums it up.
one song that got me though the hard times of september/2005 was imogen and heaps 'hide and seek' the song is so emotionally into you. i cant describe it.
work. oh boy. thats right, valerie was forced into the work force. i can truely say boo brennans. i dislike it. i dont enjoy stuck up brookfield people. i hate hate HATE driving bluemound everyday, people dont know how the fuck to drive, it pisses me off to no end. if it werent for the people, id quit. my boss is a douchebag everyone else is amazing as fuck. i seriously cant take it. i love them.
i realized why ive been so...me infront of people. why im 'coming out of my shell' why im talking to the people i talk to/want to hang out with the freshman boys. the only way i can put it is im going through a mid senior year crisis. school-school is the same old shit. same faces, same bullshit lies being fed to us. i so badly want to get out, but yet thinking about not knowing whats coming next scares the shit out of me. having this security blanket for all these years is slowly being to be ripped away. i dont want to fail at my future and become a burnout. i dont want to start school and drop out and keep telling myself ill get back to it knowing deep down im really not going to and end up working at a shitty dead end job getting wasted every night telling myself im living it up. i want to make something of myself. so to get to what i have to say, im just trying to get out my immaturity and stupidity and just bullshit out of me before its too late. i dont want to regret anything. i just want to live it up right now.
on that note.
-kim mews- i fucking love you. you are such a pimp. dont ever think im using you in anyway possible. im really not. i love you and enjoy your company. seriously if you ever want to hang out please let me know, id love to hang out with you. you are hillarious and just fucking enjoyable. no doubt, i wish good things for you.
please, i hope no one gets offended by what was or was not said or if someone was or was not mentioned. everyting is just shooting out of me fast and this is what came out.
in 2006 i would like to not be such a negative nancy. i wish to be more patient with people. also i am going to show the real me. i broke out of my shell and now time will tell. i have set some personal goals for myself as well i will give myself daily reminders to do the best i can for each and every one of my goals.
"many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits"
to conclude i would like to say i hope the best to everyone in 2006 and hope good come to you and whatever you do. please make good choices and dont keep up old habits. lets make it the best yet. nothing but love to everyone. peace.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH LEANNE
ps. it doesnt have to be friends only