things like dreams...
tonight i feel like ive been on a layer of clarity. driving home in the dark tonight, after dropping off Billy and Mike, looking at all the lights in the darkness, kind of shimmering in the night, letting the wind blow over my body from both windows, and listening to some WONDERFUL music, i just started feeling really relaxed, and started thinking of so many things. my time spent with Caitlin, friendships, mainly with Mike and Chris, both on a different level, and many other things.
If someone convinces themselves of a lie of their own creation, is that considered Masochism, or Sadistic?
I worry about people that i care about. I worry about people who wished i didnt. I talked to someone i havent talked to in a couple days, and i could hear such lonliness, and the feeling of being alone. People really shouldnt try to hide their feelings in their voice, it always comes out.
Thinking of the pain of being so important to someone, and then the next minute, mean almost nothing. A feeling everyone will feel at some point in their lives. Why do these things have to happen, the feeling of security and care, pulled away. I read a qoute from Oscar Wilde earlier, that went something like this:
"When the gods want to hurt us, they answer our prayers."
That really rings true, at least in my place, happiness, or, really being happy, is kind of a double edged sword, happiness always come with a price. The price of eventually losing that happiness.
Beginning anew in Florida will be good for me. But i know that there will be things here that i will miss terribly. I wonder is those same things, will miss me, or think about me. Or even remember me when im gone.
Memory is such a horrible thing.
If someone convinces themselves of a lie of their own creation, is that considered Masochism, or Sadistic?
I worry about people that i care about. I worry about people who wished i didnt. I talked to someone i havent talked to in a couple days, and i could hear such lonliness, and the feeling of being alone. People really shouldnt try to hide their feelings in their voice, it always comes out.
Thinking of the pain of being so important to someone, and then the next minute, mean almost nothing. A feeling everyone will feel at some point in their lives. Why do these things have to happen, the feeling of security and care, pulled away. I read a qoute from Oscar Wilde earlier, that went something like this:
"When the gods want to hurt us, they answer our prayers."
That really rings true, at least in my place, happiness, or, really being happy, is kind of a double edged sword, happiness always come with a price. The price of eventually losing that happiness.
Beginning anew in Florida will be good for me. But i know that there will be things here that i will miss terribly. I wonder is those same things, will miss me, or think about me. Or even remember me when im gone.
Memory is such a horrible thing.