(no subject)
Today is one of those days where, if I could, would punch some random in the face and then run away and laugh about it. Totally horrible I know, but i guess every human being in this world is entitled to having a bad day. I think I made an ass out of myself to my military boyfriend about a column I wrote comparing journalists and military. I secretly wonder if he hates me because of what the media is doing in Iraq and the negative persona they have gained as a result of it. I guess its hard to associate happy-wonderful feelings with journalists who are (SOME) making such asses out of themselves just to either make a buck. But then again...recently, a journalist got hurt so bad...he was a freaking professor and lawyer and he quit his job for the love and passion of journalism....how could someone hate him for that....how could he not be compared to a hero...why would people look down at him and say he deserved and should have never been in the area in the first place. Ok...poof....its done! Now what..."we don't know what's going on over there" I haven't heard or seen any stories about the war...I can beleive they don't have a reporter over there doing something...isn't that there job? Catch my drift. Our society is so politically charged and we are the people who seem to have to silence themselves and watch what we say the most. I can't report on half the things I REALLY want to...I think censorship is prevalent every where in our lives and the more people complain about it the worse it gets.
I just want to do a good job...I want to succeed. I want people to respond to what I write. I want to make a difference in the world...I want to help...I just want to help. But as each day that passes by, I hope my career choice was a good one. I hope that I don't make others wonder why I was hired in the first place...i don't want to feel like a burden and mistake.
My boyfriend tells me I am smart and a good reporter.
Am I?
Do I have what it takes? I AM MY OWN WORST CRITIC AND ALWAYS WILL BE! I need to be my own worst critic or I would never improve...but why...just why do I feel some days I can't do it. I just can't make it. I don't need constant validation...I need self validation that I am good and today I don't feel it...maybe tomorrow. I hope tomorrow, I really do.
I just want to do a good job...I want to succeed. I want people to respond to what I write. I want to make a difference in the world...I want to help...I just want to help. But as each day that passes by, I hope my career choice was a good one. I hope that I don't make others wonder why I was hired in the first place...i don't want to feel like a burden and mistake.
My boyfriend tells me I am smart and a good reporter.
Am I?
Do I have what it takes? I AM MY OWN WORST CRITIC AND ALWAYS WILL BE! I need to be my own worst critic or I would never improve...but why...just why do I feel some days I can't do it. I just can't make it. I don't need constant validation...I need self validation that I am good and today I don't feel it...maybe tomorrow. I hope tomorrow, I really do.