writing up writing up
Here I was complaining about being invisible. I now realize how stupid it was since I'd prefer being invisible right now. I'm writng this on Notepad and I'll put it on my LJ when I get a chance. Who knows how much I'll have by then. I put all the horses up for sale Danny and Chey included, though someone is going to have to spend $5,000 to get Danny, I'm not budging on that price since it'll be like selling a part of me. Eve (my redtail) is up for sale as well. Only $400, that's pretty cheap considering other 100% het for Sunglows are going for almost $1,000. I hate money, I hate being sociable and I hate needing people and very recently I hate myself. I know I'm being hypocritical in this but currently I don't care. I've talked to one person in a week (thank you). I have to keep talking myself out of trying to make up with my sister since she was the one at fault there, I shouldn't always have to play peacemaker, as for mom and dad I'm not even going to try. It's simply not worth it anymore.
I'm watching CMT "100 Greatest Duets" and thus far I've heard every duet on here, heh. Tomorrow I'm going to Walmart to get some big plastic totes, I'm out of boxes and I've still got stuff to pack. I think mom knows that I'm still planning on moving out but since neither she nor dad have said anything other then derogitory remarks to me all week I'll just have to assume. And to top off my great week I have car problems. Why am I staying at home and not with Kat and Vans parents? They are on vacation for the next month and I wasn't going to ask to stay in their house while they were gone. I've been disgustingly emotional the past few days,as well. I have no problem with emotional people or emotions, I just hate it in myself,it makes me feel...I dunno. I just don't like it.
It's a pity that Garth Brooks retired you know that? He was awesome and whether you like country or not you better not disagree with me damnit ;) Though he does need his hair... Though I'd kill to have a recording of my drunk brother doing Karaoke with Garth Brooks songs heh, twas funny. Mom and Dad are going to be gone Monday, at least for awhile. They are leaving at 8:30 so I might skip getting up at 5 and just sleep in hoping they'll leave me alone. My savings account is starting to look depleted and this is very very very bad. Work is not consistant currently, I take pride in my savings account having a decent amount of money and "helping" mom and dad out is not good for it. They demand money and yet have no problem reminding me that it would be better if I'd never have existed at all. That's a bit
twisted if you ask me.
I'm beginning to hate my room, it feels so small. I'm hating a lot of things lately and I got mad at the radio in my car and I think I broke it. I know I hurt my knuckles when I did a stupid guy move and punched it but the fucking thing wouldn't cooperate, to be truthful punching it didn't help but I felt a bit better (me,not my hand). Ooo, Whiskey Lulliby is on the Duets thing now...it's sad :( Ooo 'It's Your Love' by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill, very spiff and yet country music tends to be depressing, not wise for me to listen to right now but oh well, on CMT it will stay. I found another shape in my ceiling! There is a tree over above my door, see how exciting it is?
Do Taffy Apples,count as comfort food?
Thank you to all of you who posted nice things about me in my LJ. It was nice to see.
There is a full moon tonight and it's super bright outside. I think I might go for a walk in awhile, I've been rather sloth like lately which is very bad considering my family history. :/ My cousin Lauren is doing Jazz dance. I remember that, I wish I'd never have had to stop. Oh well, she's going to love it. Though I think she'd like riding lessons better. I three bottles sitting in front of me. Captain Morgan Tattoo, Jack Daniels Whiskey, and Smirnoff Orange Vodka. None have been opened but one soon will be. Decisions decisions... I don't want lots, just some and I think the whiskey is going to win out for the now. I've never been one to get drunk just because and I don't plan to start now.
o.o I didn't mean to gulp it...the buuuuurn and lookie, Carrie Underwood is on CMT. I wanted to be a singer for years, however I suffer from serious stage fright even doing just karaoke and I don't think much of my voice so that knocked that out, thus I'm stuck with bunches of other things none of which I'm sure of.
I got orange shampoo and now I smell like oranges...or rather orange sorbet *sniff* and cloves. Orange sorbet and cloves. And I'm seriously running out of things to write this time. I tried calling Kat and Van but I guess they are working since I got no answer on either of their cell phones so I think I'll look for shapes on my ceiling some more.
Okay, so it's the 18th now and I'm sitting in a parking lot in town where I can get WIFI for my laptop. If I could have avoided mom this morning the day would be pretty decent. As it was she decided to corner me and do some more screaming. I suppose I'm lucky she's not the physical one. It's not bad out today, not too hot not too cold and it's sunny. Which isn't the best weather for viewing my screen but oh well. I put the rest of the horses up for sale. Their ads are on a few websites and yet I'm hoping not to get any inquiries even though I know I need to. I will not be telling mom or dad, they'll just jump on it and start harping about them too. I'm getting very tired of fighting with people. I realize I'm not the easiest person to deal with but even I have my limits. The back seat of my car is starting to look appealing but I still have responsibilities at home so there is no way. Well, I'm going to finish this message and get back to browsing the net while I have it.
I'm going to go for now. I'm sure I'll end up writing more later.
I'm watching CMT "100 Greatest Duets" and thus far I've heard every duet on here, heh. Tomorrow I'm going to Walmart to get some big plastic totes, I'm out of boxes and I've still got stuff to pack. I think mom knows that I'm still planning on moving out but since neither she nor dad have said anything other then derogitory remarks to me all week I'll just have to assume. And to top off my great week I have car problems. Why am I staying at home and not with Kat and Vans parents? They are on vacation for the next month and I wasn't going to ask to stay in their house while they were gone. I've been disgustingly emotional the past few days,as well. I have no problem with emotional people or emotions, I just hate it in myself,it makes me feel...I dunno. I just don't like it.
It's a pity that Garth Brooks retired you know that? He was awesome and whether you like country or not you better not disagree with me damnit ;) Though he does need his hair... Though I'd kill to have a recording of my drunk brother doing Karaoke with Garth Brooks songs heh, twas funny. Mom and Dad are going to be gone Monday, at least for awhile. They are leaving at 8:30 so I might skip getting up at 5 and just sleep in hoping they'll leave me alone. My savings account is starting to look depleted and this is very very very bad. Work is not consistant currently, I take pride in my savings account having a decent amount of money and "helping" mom and dad out is not good for it. They demand money and yet have no problem reminding me that it would be better if I'd never have existed at all. That's a bit
twisted if you ask me.
I'm beginning to hate my room, it feels so small. I'm hating a lot of things lately and I got mad at the radio in my car and I think I broke it. I know I hurt my knuckles when I did a stupid guy move and punched it but the fucking thing wouldn't cooperate, to be truthful punching it didn't help but I felt a bit better (me,not my hand). Ooo, Whiskey Lulliby is on the Duets thing now...it's sad :( Ooo 'It's Your Love' by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill, very spiff and yet country music tends to be depressing, not wise for me to listen to right now but oh well, on CMT it will stay. I found another shape in my ceiling! There is a tree over above my door, see how exciting it is?
Do Taffy Apples,count as comfort food?
Thank you to all of you who posted nice things about me in my LJ. It was nice to see.
There is a full moon tonight and it's super bright outside. I think I might go for a walk in awhile, I've been rather sloth like lately which is very bad considering my family history. :/ My cousin Lauren is doing Jazz dance. I remember that, I wish I'd never have had to stop. Oh well, she's going to love it. Though I think she'd like riding lessons better. I three bottles sitting in front of me. Captain Morgan Tattoo, Jack Daniels Whiskey, and Smirnoff Orange Vodka. None have been opened but one soon will be. Decisions decisions... I don't want lots, just some and I think the whiskey is going to win out for the now. I've never been one to get drunk just because and I don't plan to start now.
o.o I didn't mean to gulp it...the buuuuurn and lookie, Carrie Underwood is on CMT. I wanted to be a singer for years, however I suffer from serious stage fright even doing just karaoke and I don't think much of my voice so that knocked that out, thus I'm stuck with bunches of other things none of which I'm sure of.
I got orange shampoo and now I smell like oranges...or rather orange sorbet *sniff* and cloves. Orange sorbet and cloves. And I'm seriously running out of things to write this time. I tried calling Kat and Van but I guess they are working since I got no answer on either of their cell phones so I think I'll look for shapes on my ceiling some more.
Okay, so it's the 18th now and I'm sitting in a parking lot in town where I can get WIFI for my laptop. If I could have avoided mom this morning the day would be pretty decent. As it was she decided to corner me and do some more screaming. I suppose I'm lucky she's not the physical one. It's not bad out today, not too hot not too cold and it's sunny. Which isn't the best weather for viewing my screen but oh well. I put the rest of the horses up for sale. Their ads are on a few websites and yet I'm hoping not to get any inquiries even though I know I need to. I will not be telling mom or dad, they'll just jump on it and start harping about them too. I'm getting very tired of fighting with people. I realize I'm not the easiest person to deal with but even I have my limits. The back seat of my car is starting to look appealing but I still have responsibilities at home so there is no way. Well, I'm going to finish this message and get back to browsing the net while I have it.
I'm going to go for now. I'm sure I'll end up writing more later.