I have no need
I have no need to tell you not to fuck with my family or hurt my children or I'll rip your heads off. The truth is that I won't. It's not because I don't love or care for them, it's because they either can take care of themselves (they're adults) and moreover, should take care of themselves, and I hope that I've helped them learn how to do that over the years, or because ripping someone's head off wouldn't be a very good example to a child who I would like to see grow up into a decent person.
I have no need to tell you not to hurt my family with my chest puffed and my hair up, though no threat has even taken place, because I'm going to assume that you are a decent sort who wouldn't hurt someone for no reason at all, and I try in my life to seek out people who are decent sorts. If you are not, you are likely not going to get far enough into my life to offend me, and if you manage to sneak in, then you'll be booted out, and if you can and deserve to be criminally charged for what you've done, that might happen too - but if not the only punishment is that you don't get to know me anymore and that's where it ends. Though, it is unlikely at this point in my life that I won't recognize your troubles for what they are and decide whether it will be to my own detriment to help you.
I have no need to tell my children that I will kill for them because that is in part is why we have the type of world that we do and that ranges from school shootings to rampant narcissism to unfettered anxiety and a culture of fear. I won't kill for them, I won't lay down in traffic for them, but I will encourage them to surround themselves with trustworthy people, I will teach them that they don't owe anyone anything that they haven't borrowed in the first place. I will be there for them to support and help them sort themselves out if someone has harmed them, but that I will only try to modify their perspective and encourage them to learn from their experience so that they will make better choices in the future.
When you threaten me, even though you may not be pointing it at me specifically, that you will hurt me back if I dare hurt those that you love, I lose a great deal of respect for you. The belief that everyone is out to hurt you, or even a lot of people are, is the reason our world is so messed up because when you're holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail. I will not be your nail.
Rest your fighting stance, put your fists down and instead, tell people that if they contribute to the well-being of your family and your community, even in tiny ways, you will be grateful, then watch and see just how your life changes.