(no subject)
so shit have been incredibly fucked up lately. almost everyone at the appartment has seemed to turn their backs on me. i walk into that appartment and i just feel unwelcome now. and friday when i went into the appartment mom threated to kick my ass???? what is that shit all about. i never did anything to you people!!! all i fucking did was have a attraction to a girl that says she has the same attraction to me why is that so terribly fucking wrong. is it because all of you want her to go with someone else??? well guess what she's gonna make her own decision one way or another. and u trying to make up her mind for her is just pushing her farther and farther away from you. it's not fair what you are doing to her and it's not fair what u all have done to me. i thought you all were my family. i would have done anything i could for any single one of you and all of you once gave me the illusion that the feeling was mutual. i suppose i am not as clairvoyent as i thought. i wish it didn't have to be this way, i really do. i never wanted to stay away from all of you, i never wanted to be on bad terms with you. there are however a few of you that i have no problem with those of you know who you are. those are the members of my family not just those i consider aquaintences. lansing is looking really good about now. well i did get to see Ariane friday and saturday for a little bit. Friday i finally met roxanne, arianes best friend. she's fucking awesome. then we left a half hour before the cops showed up ironically enough. saturday i picked her up and we just came back to my house and watched some movies and stuff, that was cool, then i had to get her back early so she could see her friend chris, so i went over to nicks and hung out with him and doolittle for the remainder of my night playing video games. i'm supposed to go see ariane before she leaves to go home today but i don't even know if they are gonna let me see her. i hate this shit. oh well i suppose time will tell how this situation is going to pan out. To Lillith, i've missed you more then you can imagine and finally finding you this past month or so has made me happier then you will ever know. i love you my darling, valkos as well. later kids.