shameful.
i cannot believe they made another street fighter movie. even now that it has been released and already long since bombed, i still cannot believe that they made another street fighter film.
for those unaware of the original, i am referring to the original 1994 epic street fighter, best known as the crown jewel of the jean-claude van damme quadruple feature.
some of my best memories are of elizabeth and i cruising around 'stallis in search of an available copy of street fighter.*1 most people would consider that movie to be unwatchable but we quite enjoyed it. the film has a certain campy quality that can only be appreciated by people acclimated to watching truly terrible cinema. having cut our teeth on cheerleader ninjas (*suppresses a shudder*) and alexander: the director's cut, we were prepared for street fighter. it takes a certain mix of bravery and foolhardy-ness to willfully screen a movie based on a video game, but we are just such people.
though i have not and probably will never see the recent street fighter: the legend of chun li, it's clear that this project was doomed from the start. i can appreciate the casting of chris klein as charlie, that's only appropriate, but they dropped the ball by casting some lame canadian*2 as chun li. as elizabeth has repeatedly pointed out, canadians always ruin everything. i would be willing to overlook the actress' nationality were it not for one damning flaw; the actress features a conspicuous absence of thunder thighs. you cannot capture the essence of chun li without thunder thighs. even the most novice of nerds knows that. this blatant failing displays a shameful ignorance of the film's source material, if not a total disregard for the entire street fighter pantheon altogether. clearly no one was thinking when producing this movie.*3
the film displays one last readily identifiable flaw, and this will come to anthony's profound dismay. i have spent a considerable portion of my life defeating anthony at street fighter. repeatedly. i've had a lot of good times with him, so i'm sad to crush him with the following revelation: the imdb page does not list dee jay as a character in the new film. i know. what the fuck. only until there is a street fighter: dee jay's revenge will i ever support a future street fighter film.
*1 tragically, the original street fighter movie was the legendary raul julia's last film. that warrants an emoticon: :(
*2 this would have been MUCH more appropriate casting.
*3 i find it odd that nobody has thought to affix a '2' to any of the street fighter films. the street fighter franchise has only been successful when a '2' is attached to the title. no one cared about street fighter 1 or 3, and "street fighter" itself is a generic title. just sayin'.
for those unaware of the original, i am referring to the original 1994 epic street fighter, best known as the crown jewel of the jean-claude van damme quadruple feature.
some of my best memories are of elizabeth and i cruising around 'stallis in search of an available copy of street fighter.*1 most people would consider that movie to be unwatchable but we quite enjoyed it. the film has a certain campy quality that can only be appreciated by people acclimated to watching truly terrible cinema. having cut our teeth on cheerleader ninjas (*suppresses a shudder*) and alexander: the director's cut, we were prepared for street fighter. it takes a certain mix of bravery and foolhardy-ness to willfully screen a movie based on a video game, but we are just such people.
though i have not and probably will never see the recent street fighter: the legend of chun li, it's clear that this project was doomed from the start. i can appreciate the casting of chris klein as charlie, that's only appropriate, but they dropped the ball by casting some lame canadian*2 as chun li. as elizabeth has repeatedly pointed out, canadians always ruin everything. i would be willing to overlook the actress' nationality were it not for one damning flaw; the actress features a conspicuous absence of thunder thighs. you cannot capture the essence of chun li without thunder thighs. even the most novice of nerds knows that. this blatant failing displays a shameful ignorance of the film's source material, if not a total disregard for the entire street fighter pantheon altogether. clearly no one was thinking when producing this movie.*3
the film displays one last readily identifiable flaw, and this will come to anthony's profound dismay. i have spent a considerable portion of my life defeating anthony at street fighter. repeatedly. i've had a lot of good times with him, so i'm sad to crush him with the following revelation: the imdb page does not list dee jay as a character in the new film. i know. what the fuck. only until there is a street fighter: dee jay's revenge will i ever support a future street fighter film.
*1 tragically, the original street fighter movie was the legendary raul julia's last film. that warrants an emoticon: :(
*2 this would have been MUCH more appropriate casting.
*3 i find it odd that nobody has thought to affix a '2' to any of the street fighter films. the street fighter franchise has only been successful when a '2' is attached to the title. no one cared about street fighter 1 or 3, and "street fighter" itself is a generic title. just sayin'.