An August night as I sit here typing this entry
It's 2 am on an August night as I sit here typing this entry. The midnight air is filled with scents of spiced pumpkin from a lit aromatic candle. Even now as I try to collectively gather my thoughts for this entry I still wonder why I choose to live the life that I chosen to live and look back on the choices that I have made thus far. The conclusion, to my aspect anyways, has been that there is a fiery soul that yearns to see everything there is in me. To live my life to my very last breath. Yet I sometimes feel that I am completely alone, even though I am surrounded by people who care deeply for me. I have one best friend who I can't really say that I've known from childhood, but almost half my life time. Though we're hundred of miles apart, we never skip a beat when when he's in town. We're very much alike, he and I, but at the same time very different. Four years my junior, I sometimes feel that his maturity out weighs his age. Its great knowing that no matter what I do, he always a reminder or an advice to keep me on track. He is by all means a doctor, something that I once strived for, but never really pursued to my hearts content. He is also a very talented artist, something that I have personally seen him grown in, but chooses to pursues it as a hobby whereas it is my life's ambitions. The irony of this is that I forewent my 'medical' education to follow my passion in art, but the scientific knowledge never left me. Even now I still drift from time to time, knowing that as a doctor, I would have had an easier life, but would have been very unhappy.
Happiness is the embodiment of everything that is true to ones own heart. And everything that is true to my own heart makes me happy, but I am incomplete. I have this unnerving fear for completing myself. As I get older, I notice that I've become much keener to certain things. I sometimes wish that world see with their hearts, listen with their minds and feel with their soul rather than with their eyes. People are quick to judge, even as open as I am, I am guilty to judge on certain occasions. I envy the blind sometimes, though they may live in a world of darkness all their life, they see life much differently, through different set of eyes. I sometimes close my eyes, not to blind things out, but to see things in a different perspective. Something a blind acquaintance once taught me. It was a lesson that I think shaped my perspective on certain things in life. People always are in awe at a beautiful bouqet of flower, but to really see the flowers you have to close to eyes to catch the scent of each and every flower and touch the texture of each different flower. Only then do you really capture the beauty of the bouqet.
This entry has to end here, for now anyways. Its one of those late night things I suppose when all is tranquil and quite that I'm most collected when most slumber to the next days awakenings.
Happiness is the embodiment of everything that is true to ones own heart. And everything that is true to my own heart makes me happy, but I am incomplete. I have this unnerving fear for completing myself. As I get older, I notice that I've become much keener to certain things. I sometimes wish that world see with their hearts, listen with their minds and feel with their soul rather than with their eyes. People are quick to judge, even as open as I am, I am guilty to judge on certain occasions. I envy the blind sometimes, though they may live in a world of darkness all their life, they see life much differently, through different set of eyes. I sometimes close my eyes, not to blind things out, but to see things in a different perspective. Something a blind acquaintance once taught me. It was a lesson that I think shaped my perspective on certain things in life. People always are in awe at a beautiful bouqet of flower, but to really see the flowers you have to close to eyes to catch the scent of each and every flower and touch the texture of each different flower. Only then do you really capture the beauty of the bouqet.
This entry has to end here, for now anyways. Its one of those late night things I suppose when all is tranquil and quite that I'm most collected when most slumber to the next days awakenings.