Genesis

[valhalla37]

Title: Genesis
Characters/Pairings: Jacob; Richard, Eloise, Daniel, Miles, Charlotte
Summary: The island always calls its children home.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Up to end of S5
Warnings: References to character death.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
A/N: Winner of second place for the lostfichallenge, Challenge #97: Jacob.

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Comments

[ozmissage]

Epic. That was absolutely epic and I'm crying because that last image of Miles just killed me.

This is perfect. Dan/Charlotte as Adam and Eve. The strange combination of creepiness and gentleness that is just so Jacob. The moment when Eloise gasps because he touches her son.

Guh. I don't know how you do it. I wish I had more time to comment because this is brilliant. I'll just say this: the way you expounded upon not only the history, but the characters in this piece was gorgeous and a pleasure to read. Amazing work.

[valhalla37]

Wow, thank you so, so much!

I was actually thinking of you when I brought it back to Miles at the end, and hoping it would fly. ;P

I'm so pleased that you think the mythology aspects here worked -- Charlotte and Dan aren't my first choice for Adam and Eve but within the scope of the story I wanted them to play a bigger role, and for their deaths to mean more than they maybe did in canon. And yay! I wasn't sure if that moment with Eloise would stand out at all, and I'm so glad it did! Thanks again for all the wonderful feedback!

[franza]

Awesome, I personally suspect Rose and Bernard as Adam and Eve, but i'd rather it be Dan and Charlotte. Char and Dan were my original bet for Adam and Eve before s5 started.

Just fits better and I really want them to find Charlotte, makes me so sad to think of her just laying upon the Jungle floor, all alone. She's be better of burried beside Daniel.

[valhalla37]

Yeah, that's my first guess too for Adam and Eve (Bernard and Rose), though with all the time-travel shenanigans I did wonder if Dan and Charlotte could be candidates.

Definitely wanted to add more meaning to that scene, so really pleased to hear it worked for you!

[sedauny]

Very, very nice. The tone of the story was all quiet and inevitable, as Jacob inexorably got his own way (or followed the path already set; we don't know if he's making the future or ensuring it). Interesting how Richard flinched when Jacob touched Dan--I get the feeling that "touched by Jacob" is not so much a blessing to those in the know. I'm not sure about Dan and Charlotte as Adam and Eve, but I do like the idea of them buried together, I just wish them a little more undisturbed in their long rest. And Miles! Miles, be sure to ask about the retirement...too late. I'd miss Richard badly, but Miles will be a good replacement. He's a bit snappish now, but a couple of centuries should mellow him. Thanks for giving him a purpose, 'cause he really needs one in this show.

[valhalla37]

Thank you so, so much!

Those are the two things that immediately come to mind -- for me, at least -- when it comes to Jacob. I know there's debate on whether on not "touched by Jacob" is a positive, but I figured I'd take the other route this time, and assume that the Others would realize the implications.

Yeah, that was the general idea with Dan, Charlotte and Miles -- make it a little more purposeful, and not have their endings without some connection back to Jacob. I'm still trying to make heads and tails of what Miles means to everything, and though I think Frank's more likely as a "candidate" for Richard's job, I liked Miles in the position as well.

[missy_useless]

I just broke a rule for you (probably my only real rule when it comes to reading Lost fic): I never (NEVER) read Jacob fic. And I only broke that rule because I knew this would be fabulous, and it is. Brilliant, really, and creepy and gentle and quiet and beautiful.

Jacob smiles, reaching out to tussle the boy's hair. "It's okay, Daniel."

Richard cringes -- the movement, the play of muscles and tendons beneath flesh so slight it barely registers -- Eloise's sharp, soft gasp echoing back against the room's stone walls.

I don't know why, but Eloise almost killed me here. Oh wow. Amazing.

[valhalla37]

Hahaha, wow, so I'm doubly flattered now! (I remember you saying how much you hated the whole Jacob thing.)

I'm so pleased that stood out for you! I've been trying to figure out Eloise's potential motivations for leaving the island with Daniel, knowing what would happen in his future, and I thought "defying Jacob" would be an interesting route. Thanks again for the wonderful feedback!

[aurilly]

Wonderful! But wonderfully tragic. Dan and Charlotte killed me, as did Miles at the end. Miles!

This was just beautifully written, every word.

[valhalla37]

Wow, thank you so, so much!

One part of me doesn't really want that for any of them -- the Adam and Eve thing; for Miles to be like Richard -- but on the other hand, I'd like to see them be more purposeful, either in death or because I still wonder what Miles' role is to play, other than being a baby on the island.