my friend
has the most realistic videogame: his life. secretly, my goal has always been to write entries that y'all'll be likely to find meaning in. am i immoral? i don't enjoy the indiana jones movies. do i want to be here, in missouri, in college? i want to want to be here, from the bottom of my heart. should i have filed for divorce with creativity? motivation turns out to be a non-transferrable currency: dredge it up from the bottom of the atlantic, and it'll be dead long before you can get it to the pacific. if you don't know something (e.g., "i don't know if i'm better off without religion"), is it worth your while to say so? i can tolerate minor sevenths now, but i've pretty well given up on listening to jazz, and i've gorgeously well given up on playing it. i haven't sat down and put effort into something for weeks and weeks. if you put a soccer ball between your feet, you can be a penguin like me. i used to not talk about favorite animals because i thought it was like talking about favorite ethnic groups. what is the difference between ethnic groups and racial groups? this question is what's left of my thirst for knowledge (help! i'm near-drowned!), so it follows that once i've answered it i can get out of this place. little by little i gain confidence. little by little i lose reasons to be confident. it doesn't have to be that way, though--and it won't!