life is like a box of something...
well, i think that ever since i joined the "real world" i've become this emotional wreck! I mean, I know that I have always been emotional but this time it's FOR REAL!!! hahaha... I find myself crying more often. Maybe it's because I'm alone---or maybe I'm just really sad. If I wasn't able to see my kids everyday i would probably die. THey are my refuge--and so are the people i work with. I am so thankful for them......but for some reason there is still this void that is in me. I don't know if it's a boyfriend void, or just a close friend void, but nonetheless...it's there. It's like sometimes I feel like I'm just going through the motions to get through each day and that someday I will be doing something different. I can't explain it here....I know what's going on in my head but it's too difficult to say. I think that the best thing I can do is to kick myself in the ass and just get over it---sometimes I just want to say "check please!" and end this lonely feeling---DON'T WORRY I DON'T MEAN KILL MYSELF...I mean, I'm done doing this alone thing---give me some people!!! Maybe those of you that are reading this could say you understand, but I'm guessing most of you probably don't......forget it anyways...so I need a swift kick in the ass i believe.
I think the real thing here is that I am a people person. You know me....I have ALWAYS needed people and wanted people...(friends) grrrrrrrrrrrrrr i keep dwelling on this and it's bringing me down...I'm breaking out on my face from all this stress...i HATE it- I try to talk to Dave because he listens, but that's all he can do. We can't go out for a beer after work or in the evening because he's not at that place in his life...and this is the story for 99% of my coworkers. that is why it's hard here....god bless roxy and all she's done for me. She wants me to be happy and i love her enough to be happy with her. when i cry she's there, when i'm pissed, she's there...when i'm happy she's there---I wish she could come with me to get a beer or out for dinner---i love her. okay i'm rambling now---i just need to break out of this funk and get my ass in gear---when i try walking, it works for the moment--but then i'm super busy again for something else---I think i'm going to buy an elliptical machine tonight or tomorrow online at sears.com---I don't know. alrighty I must go sulk in my depressed state and watch tv and sit with roxy--i got her a new rope and she LOVES it...
is this entry not completely random? oh well--leave a message---i'd love to hear from you that read this--
I think the real thing here is that I am a people person. You know me....I have ALWAYS needed people and wanted people...(friends) grrrrrrrrrrrrrr i keep dwelling on this and it's bringing me down...I'm breaking out on my face from all this stress...i HATE it- I try to talk to Dave because he listens, but that's all he can do. We can't go out for a beer after work or in the evening because he's not at that place in his life...and this is the story for 99% of my coworkers. that is why it's hard here....god bless roxy and all she's done for me. She wants me to be happy and i love her enough to be happy with her. when i cry she's there, when i'm pissed, she's there...when i'm happy she's there---I wish she could come with me to get a beer or out for dinner---i love her. okay i'm rambling now---i just need to break out of this funk and get my ass in gear---when i try walking, it works for the moment--but then i'm super busy again for something else---I think i'm going to buy an elliptical machine tonight or tomorrow online at sears.com---I don't know. alrighty I must go sulk in my depressed state and watch tv and sit with roxy--i got her a new rope and she LOVES it...
is this entry not completely random? oh well--leave a message---i'd love to hear from you that read this--