I feel I may regret this in the future... help me out, if you dare
Yarghhh! Okay, I'm still in a bit of state but I present to you the sum of a PS message from one of my letters written while... oh so sligthly innebriated. As evidently is my wont on this journalistic posting system. I take comfort in that no one has the ability to judge me. And that if they do I have the self confidence to tell them off should they do so... Also... why does Tofino have such a modern architectural structure in the midst of an idyllic town setting which houses both a pizza shack and a real estate office? Whistler? Help me out here? Lastly, you have until noon of December 12th to suggest any modification to said PS message before it is posted. Lets get some audience participation on this bitch!
(Notation: the following passage was written after a visit to the public house. It should be taken as such. Anything viewed should be taken in the sense that it is intended, with humor and without the need for forming long lasting opinions on the mental processes that created them)
PS: A long PS? Mayhaps, but considering that we spent a seeming number of conversations in preparation fore the bar it seemed only apropos that I would write to you ad sic after… as said… in a slightly inebriated state after the longhorn. Wait… ad sic should go after the word longhorn… well I would be a hypocrite now if I changed it… damnation! Unfortunaetley I did not see Jayleigh but it was as I said a long shot. I met a guy named nelius at work awhile back and this was our first time getting together for a “social occasion” (original format changed due to illegibility). Nice guy, seems as he worked as a contractor in Australia in the capacticy of a foreman or construction worker in management. Hmm boring detail but there it is. So we went to the longhorn… found ourselves in a lineup and so we went to Crystal where we had a pitcher of draft beer and watched the live music which was goot but caused me to reminisce about Gemma T. Holey crap… I spelled reminisce without the need for a spell checker? Half and hour and one pitcher late we went to Longhorn to a much shoretened lineup and just tipped enough as to not pheel the cold. Enough indeed for without a moment we were inside and working our way to the local purveyor of the blessed works… alchohol. We decieded to get three pitchers since the bar would be doing the lats call soon which was a bit of an error o f judgenent on our part. Especially considering that nelius ended up meeting someone her hasn’t seen since three year s anon (notation added: person is female, important later). So I am left with the responsibility of speaking to one of his “friends? Random guy?” in order to socialize. Seeing as I know nothing about this guy I determine that he should do most of the talking while I drink beer from the threee bpitchers of beer while catching glimpses of two really good looking women over his shoulder who are dancing on a speaker. It is a good plan… which as you may have determined from the monologue… perhaps tooo good of a plan?... wait… just a moment… need to chill out… I’,m listening to an interview with Jack Thompson while I write this and it is angering me too much…one moment… Okay.. the moment is passed. So I’m talking to this random guy… apparently he’s from Lethbridge… awesome, and by the meaning of the word I actually intend the opposite. Okay… moving on, wow appartently the bouncer wants us to move on with the drinking… the music has stopped and we still have a pitcher of dark beer and half of light left. Crap? Okay, queen to rook 5 on the light beer. Yee chug!!! Okay… pulll it off! Okay… dark beer “friend? Who is this guy? I’m starting to question?” Yarrgghh he only has some of his chugging pulled off… wait… uh oh! He is starting to make odd movements? Remember your chvilry training! Coat is tossed on the girl’s front in event of protection needed. Fortunately it is not, though some flustering is involved, event is ended positively. Bouncer is becoming insistent. Damnit wiat a second! Hey>? Who’s that? I recognize this fellow in the next table? Who is he? Identifying features (notation: at this point I am thinking like the T-1000 from Terminator 2. Weird details are registered as critical whereas important details are either unimportant or I have approximately ten hours to decide on their validity… Hey, I’m tellin’ like it is.) Wait? Yes… I had an argument on the bus with this guy where I proposed that survival of the fittest was the same in regards to creating law in society as it was to being the penultimate warrior. How odd that I remember this man? How do I recall? Wait!? That chin!? That Tony Robbins chin!? That chin is hard core? It’s like he’s unconsciously threatening me? Like he wants to devour me with that all too massive jaw? Fricking massive! Without delay I briefly remind him of who I am and continue the discussion which was cutt far too short by his departure from the transit vehicle. I then notice three things. One: nelius and his friend flicker in the corner of my eye as they leave… it’s okay, I have ten hours to figure out where they went…. Or possibly not important, details. Two: I have completely broken off conversation with… buddy… without even finishing my sentence. Rude? Three: Opponent (as he is henceforth known… evidently I have reverted to the intelligence of your garden variety bull/rooster) neither flickers his eyes too the girl he was speaking too before I gathered his interest or takes a sip of his beer to capture his changed heuristic… damn “heuristic” that’s two in a row… this indicates twoo things. One: He is not getting laid tonight. He has ignored his girl for reasons of some bar asshole after one comment, whether he is actually in a relationship or working hard to make inroads with her, this guys done in her eyes. I continue the conversation to ensure this opinion of hers and make sure his efforts come to naught so that regardless of the argument he has already lost the larger competition. I take a moment to treasure this moment. Two: his eyes do not flicker even a little… good, undivided attention, look at the shiny object boy… look at it… ignore the girly. That’s right, honest challenge to your virility, not just the tiny mental distraction of some guy who’s too bored with the discussion of… “buddy” to continue it. This all runs in the background of my mind as I spew some crap about “wusses” changing the dynamic of society as a whole so that the strength of said “warrior types” are no longer in strong standing but rather that intelligence and “survival of the smoothest” (their strength) becomes the norm, therefore outdating the warrior personality as a whole and strengthening their own. Meanwhile I stand up to enforce my opinion in a physical posture and put on my coat so as to limit my opponent’s time in rebuttal, ergo once again enforcing points against him in the eyes of this random girl… hey! Where did random guy go? Yep, he’s gonna have blue balls tonight.. heh heh heh. No rebuttal is forthcoming but I modify discussion for disclaimer since it is interesting and may wish to bring up later with him should I encounter him again. Notice that girl is still in next seat… how can she not see this man wishes to eat her with this massive jaw of his? No matter, I must find Nelius and … damn… I was introduced… Alaana? Possibly? Must go find… Damnit! I finished my beer! I’m not going to drink the rest of my beer you fool! Can you not see that my glass is empty? That pitcher isn’t mine? Why would I buy a dark lager on a hard drinking occasion? Answer me that Asshole prime? I clearly would purchase a light ale if I feared the need for a chug session at the end of my night. It goes down easier and doesn’t sit so heavy in the event of shameful sessions of candor between myself and a friendly bush. Are we done? Well are we? That’s what I thought! That dark ass lager belongs to… “buddy?” Where did that sunofabitch go? Nelius! Must find Nelius and Alaana! Why? That question fails to trigger in the specific? I will find him… My mission becomes a boring one within three minutes of planning it and instead I go to the bus at a high run. That is my mission! The real one! I was just mistaken in the case of the previous one! How do I know this? Because I am successful in it where as I do not find Nelius and Alaana… or “buddy” for that matter. But the bus is there… perhaps I will find someone to harangue on the way home so that I can piss him off in the bar at a later date.
Also… Jack Thompson is a cockmonger! Out to destroy Rockstar! Kiss my ass Thompson! You and your repetitious metaphors! Get some god damned imagination!
(Notation: the following passage was written after a visit to the public house. It should be taken as such. Anything viewed should be taken in the sense that it is intended, with humor and without the need for forming long lasting opinions on the mental processes that created them)
PS: A long PS? Mayhaps, but considering that we spent a seeming number of conversations in preparation fore the bar it seemed only apropos that I would write to you ad sic after… as said… in a slightly inebriated state after the longhorn. Wait… ad sic should go after the word longhorn… well I would be a hypocrite now if I changed it… damnation! Unfortunaetley I did not see Jayleigh but it was as I said a long shot. I met a guy named nelius at work awhile back and this was our first time getting together for a “social occasion” (original format changed due to illegibility). Nice guy, seems as he worked as a contractor in Australia in the capacticy of a foreman or construction worker in management. Hmm boring detail but there it is. So we went to the longhorn… found ourselves in a lineup and so we went to Crystal where we had a pitcher of draft beer and watched the live music which was goot but caused me to reminisce about Gemma T. Holey crap… I spelled reminisce without the need for a spell checker? Half and hour and one pitcher late we went to Longhorn to a much shoretened lineup and just tipped enough as to not pheel the cold. Enough indeed for without a moment we were inside and working our way to the local purveyor of the blessed works… alchohol. We decieded to get three pitchers since the bar would be doing the lats call soon which was a bit of an error o f judgenent on our part. Especially considering that nelius ended up meeting someone her hasn’t seen since three year s anon (notation added: person is female, important later). So I am left with the responsibility of speaking to one of his “friends? Random guy?” in order to socialize. Seeing as I know nothing about this guy I determine that he should do most of the talking while I drink beer from the threee bpitchers of beer while catching glimpses of two really good looking women over his shoulder who are dancing on a speaker. It is a good plan… which as you may have determined from the monologue… perhaps tooo good of a plan?... wait… just a moment… need to chill out… I’,m listening to an interview with Jack Thompson while I write this and it is angering me too much…one moment… Okay.. the moment is passed. So I’m talking to this random guy… apparently he’s from Lethbridge… awesome, and by the meaning of the word I actually intend the opposite. Okay… moving on, wow appartently the bouncer wants us to move on with the drinking… the music has stopped and we still have a pitcher of dark beer and half of light left. Crap? Okay, queen to rook 5 on the light beer. Yee chug!!! Okay… pulll it off! Okay… dark beer “friend? Who is this guy? I’m starting to question?” Yarrgghh he only has some of his chugging pulled off… wait… uh oh! He is starting to make odd movements? Remember your chvilry training! Coat is tossed on the girl’s front in event of protection needed. Fortunately it is not, though some flustering is involved, event is ended positively. Bouncer is becoming insistent. Damnit wiat a second! Hey>? Who’s that? I recognize this fellow in the next table? Who is he? Identifying features (notation: at this point I am thinking like the T-1000 from Terminator 2. Weird details are registered as critical whereas important details are either unimportant or I have approximately ten hours to decide on their validity… Hey, I’m tellin’ like it is.) Wait? Yes… I had an argument on the bus with this guy where I proposed that survival of the fittest was the same in regards to creating law in society as it was to being the penultimate warrior. How odd that I remember this man? How do I recall? Wait!? That chin!? That Tony Robbins chin!? That chin is hard core? It’s like he’s unconsciously threatening me? Like he wants to devour me with that all too massive jaw? Fricking massive! Without delay I briefly remind him of who I am and continue the discussion which was cutt far too short by his departure from the transit vehicle. I then notice three things. One: nelius and his friend flicker in the corner of my eye as they leave… it’s okay, I have ten hours to figure out where they went…. Or possibly not important, details. Two: I have completely broken off conversation with… buddy… without even finishing my sentence. Rude? Three: Opponent (as he is henceforth known… evidently I have reverted to the intelligence of your garden variety bull/rooster) neither flickers his eyes too the girl he was speaking too before I gathered his interest or takes a sip of his beer to capture his changed heuristic… damn “heuristic” that’s two in a row… this indicates twoo things. One: He is not getting laid tonight. He has ignored his girl for reasons of some bar asshole after one comment, whether he is actually in a relationship or working hard to make inroads with her, this guys done in her eyes. I continue the conversation to ensure this opinion of hers and make sure his efforts come to naught so that regardless of the argument he has already lost the larger competition. I take a moment to treasure this moment. Two: his eyes do not flicker even a little… good, undivided attention, look at the shiny object boy… look at it… ignore the girly. That’s right, honest challenge to your virility, not just the tiny mental distraction of some guy who’s too bored with the discussion of… “buddy” to continue it. This all runs in the background of my mind as I spew some crap about “wusses” changing the dynamic of society as a whole so that the strength of said “warrior types” are no longer in strong standing but rather that intelligence and “survival of the smoothest” (their strength) becomes the norm, therefore outdating the warrior personality as a whole and strengthening their own. Meanwhile I stand up to enforce my opinion in a physical posture and put on my coat so as to limit my opponent’s time in rebuttal, ergo once again enforcing points against him in the eyes of this random girl… hey! Where did random guy go? Yep, he’s gonna have blue balls tonight.. heh heh heh. No rebuttal is forthcoming but I modify discussion for disclaimer since it is interesting and may wish to bring up later with him should I encounter him again. Notice that girl is still in next seat… how can she not see this man wishes to eat her with this massive jaw of his? No matter, I must find Nelius and … damn… I was introduced… Alaana? Possibly? Must go find… Damnit! I finished my beer! I’m not going to drink the rest of my beer you fool! Can you not see that my glass is empty? That pitcher isn’t mine? Why would I buy a dark lager on a hard drinking occasion? Answer me that Asshole prime? I clearly would purchase a light ale if I feared the need for a chug session at the end of my night. It goes down easier and doesn’t sit so heavy in the event of shameful sessions of candor between myself and a friendly bush. Are we done? Well are we? That’s what I thought! That dark ass lager belongs to… “buddy?” Where did that sunofabitch go? Nelius! Must find Nelius and Alaana! Why? That question fails to trigger in the specific? I will find him… My mission becomes a boring one within three minutes of planning it and instead I go to the bus at a high run. That is my mission! The real one! I was just mistaken in the case of the previous one! How do I know this? Because I am successful in it where as I do not find Nelius and Alaana… or “buddy” for that matter. But the bus is there… perhaps I will find someone to harangue on the way home so that I can piss him off in the bar at a later date.
Also… Jack Thompson is a cockmonger! Out to destroy Rockstar! Kiss my ass Thompson! You and your repetitious metaphors! Get some god damned imagination!