(no subject)
This is a hoot
Especially since I've done most of those at one time or another.
But this: Star Wars>
Public Humiliation: 82.1%
Before the lame-ass new Star Wars movies, we might have let it go if we saw a Lando Calrissian or an Ewok waiting in line for a movie. Not anymore. Anyone disguised as a Jedi in this day and age had better have been helped into that costume by a caregiver assigned by the state to assist their special needs. Related Trivia Fact: Admiral Ackbar is the guy with the fish head from Return of the Jedi that screams things like, “Shorshenblorg borshchortle!”
Damage to Sex Life: 54.6% (Debateable, in my opinion. Depends on your costume, your face and your attitude. Can range from "no way in the nine Sith Hells!" to "can have any woman he wants." My luck tends more to the former)
Dressing like Darth Vader creates a number of sexual obstacles. First you have to find someone who doesn’t mind dating the dark lord of geeks, (Sith Chicks!) and from this point on the sentence is moot since you won’t, and then they have to safely be able to dig their way through your codpiece of cybernetic space enhancements. Impossible.
(Not for one skilled in the Slutty Side of the Force)
Plus, the speech that Darth Vader gave to Natalie Portman in Episode II (about how she was so great because she wasn’t like sand) is going to hang over the heads of evil single Jedi for generations.
On the other hand, the strict moral code of the good Jedi prevents them from touching naked women with anything other than a light saber. And that, of course, would kill them.
On the third hand, I have this theory I’ve been meaning to test that jumping into a room naked and screaming like Chewbacca would be super erotic. Keep in mind, however, that my last theory, “Wouldn’t it be sweet if these were like, FLYING condoms?” went largely ignored by the sex community.
Distinguishing Characteristics: Overweight, casually strolling into the center of the room, and then when you least expect it, bursting into a blinding Jedi combat storm with a golf ball retriever.
Especially since I've done most of those at one time or another.
But this: Star Wars>
Public Humiliation: 82.1%
Before the lame-ass new Star Wars movies, we might have let it go if we saw a Lando Calrissian or an Ewok waiting in line for a movie. Not anymore. Anyone disguised as a Jedi in this day and age had better have been helped into that costume by a caregiver assigned by the state to assist their special needs. Related Trivia Fact: Admiral Ackbar is the guy with the fish head from Return of the Jedi that screams things like, “Shorshenblorg borshchortle!”
Damage to Sex Life: 54.6% (Debateable, in my opinion. Depends on your costume, your face and your attitude. Can range from "no way in the nine Sith Hells!" to "can have any woman he wants." My luck tends more to the former)
Dressing like Darth Vader creates a number of sexual obstacles. First you have to find someone who doesn’t mind dating the dark lord of geeks, (Sith Chicks!) and from this point on the sentence is moot since you won’t, and then they have to safely be able to dig their way through your codpiece of cybernetic space enhancements. Impossible.
(Not for one skilled in the Slutty Side of the Force)
Plus, the speech that Darth Vader gave to Natalie Portman in Episode II (about how she was so great because she wasn’t like sand) is going to hang over the heads of evil single Jedi for generations.
On the other hand, the strict moral code of the good Jedi prevents them from touching naked women with anything other than a light saber. And that, of course, would kill them.
On the third hand, I have this theory I’ve been meaning to test that jumping into a room naked and screaming like Chewbacca would be super erotic. Keep in mind, however, that my last theory, “Wouldn’t it be sweet if these were like, FLYING condoms?” went largely ignored by the sex community.
Distinguishing Characteristics: Overweight, casually strolling into the center of the room, and then when you least expect it, bursting into a blinding Jedi combat storm with a golf ball retriever.