Update, long overdue
I thought lossing my friend ShadowWolf drug me down; but I found a much darker oubliette to fall into.
Towards the end of October I had two events in my life send my world skittering across the floor. My dad went into the hospital for a sudden decline in his health; and a mutual friend of another close friend made a post on Facebook that was fatalistically cryptic; "We've lost Charles". The words back from the doctors weren't good; my dad had cancer and it was attacking his system on a massively global scale. Over the next few days, and after several borderline frantic phone calls on my part, the world beneath my feet began to crumble.
My dad was terminal, and progressing quickly; which was a blessing in that he wouldn't be suffering long. Charlie had overdosed on his medication and while he was resuscitated, there was little hope that he would wake from his coma.
Charlie passed first, just days after his overdose. He had always been a bright spark in my life, a constant glow of spirit and joy, and was one of the few people I could turn to when I needed to talk in confidence.
My dad passed about two weeks later. He had been my hero, my friend; he taught me how to lead my life, to be respectful and confident, and aspire to be something more than I was.
Now...months later, I'm still struggling to climb out of this oubliette of depression. I throw myself at projects, hoping it will help, but my interest in the projects fade to quick. I try to interest myself in anything, and while it might work for a day, it just doesn't last.
I'd say what I need is to be surrounded by friends, as that's helped me through the passing of many friends in the past; but my 'stock' of friends have dwindled. We've grown apart, and the distances are too great. So I have no friends to turn to...
My husband tries to help, but its hard. I'm not sure he knows what to do, any more than I do; and the walls of the oubliette seem just that much higher.......
Towards the end of October I had two events in my life send my world skittering across the floor. My dad went into the hospital for a sudden decline in his health; and a mutual friend of another close friend made a post on Facebook that was fatalistically cryptic; "We've lost Charles". The words back from the doctors weren't good; my dad had cancer and it was attacking his system on a massively global scale. Over the next few days, and after several borderline frantic phone calls on my part, the world beneath my feet began to crumble.
My dad was terminal, and progressing quickly; which was a blessing in that he wouldn't be suffering long. Charlie had overdosed on his medication and while he was resuscitated, there was little hope that he would wake from his coma.
Charlie passed first, just days after his overdose. He had always been a bright spark in my life, a constant glow of spirit and joy, and was one of the few people I could turn to when I needed to talk in confidence.
My dad passed about two weeks later. He had been my hero, my friend; he taught me how to lead my life, to be respectful and confident, and aspire to be something more than I was.
Now...months later, I'm still struggling to climb out of this oubliette of depression. I throw myself at projects, hoping it will help, but my interest in the projects fade to quick. I try to interest myself in anything, and while it might work for a day, it just doesn't last.
I'd say what I need is to be surrounded by friends, as that's helped me through the passing of many friends in the past; but my 'stock' of friends have dwindled. We've grown apart, and the distances are too great. So I have no friends to turn to...
My husband tries to help, but its hard. I'm not sure he knows what to do, any more than I do; and the walls of the oubliette seem just that much higher.......