Creative Uses for Violin Wire
Some days I think that substitute-teaching at an elementary school is one of the funnest jobs ever.
And then some days there are 5th grade string orchestra concerts.
There are few things more excruciating to the ear than beginner-level violin playing. You would think that 20 or so beginner violinists (plus two cellists and a bass) playing together would be exponentially worse, but in fact they drown each other out somewhat. No, the real torture was the half hour of solos and duets preceding the group pieces.
Only one kid, whom I knew from class (a cute little snub-nosed white girl who wants me to call her by her "rapper name"), actually managed to hit all her notes in even an approximation of tunefulness. The rest were pure, unadulterated torture. Why must they have an audience? Can't new violinists be kept in a sound-proof cellar until they've aged and can be heard without triggering a longing for suicide?
The tuneful girl's real name, by the way, is Leine, pronounced "Laney". At first I assumed this was German (what? It could be.) but learned from the attendance list that it's actually short for Madeleine. You have to wonder -- at home, when her parents say things like "Madeleine, stop rapping and finish your brie!", do they pronounce it "Madelaney"? Because if not, I really think they ought to. It's one thing to take a combination of letters usually pronounced one way and announce that in your case they are going to be said in a new, possibly made up way (come on, Ralph, what makes you think I mean you?). But it's another thing altogether (by which I mean "even more ridiculous") to pronounce a combination of letters one way when they're prefixed by "Made" and a completely different way when they're not.
And then some days there are 5th grade string orchestra concerts.
There are few things more excruciating to the ear than beginner-level violin playing. You would think that 20 or so beginner violinists (plus two cellists and a bass) playing together would be exponentially worse, but in fact they drown each other out somewhat. No, the real torture was the half hour of solos and duets preceding the group pieces.
Only one kid, whom I knew from class (a cute little snub-nosed white girl who wants me to call her by her "rapper name"), actually managed to hit all her notes in even an approximation of tunefulness. The rest were pure, unadulterated torture. Why must they have an audience? Can't new violinists be kept in a sound-proof cellar until they've aged and can be heard without triggering a longing for suicide?
The tuneful girl's real name, by the way, is Leine, pronounced "Laney". At first I assumed this was German (what? It could be.) but learned from the attendance list that it's actually short for Madeleine. You have to wonder -- at home, when her parents say things like "Madeleine, stop rapping and finish your brie!", do they pronounce it "Madelaney"? Because if not, I really think they ought to. It's one thing to take a combination of letters usually pronounced one way and announce that in your case they are going to be said in a new, possibly made up way (come on, Ralph, what makes you think I mean you?). But it's another thing altogether (by which I mean "even more ridiculous") to pronounce a combination of letters one way when they're prefixed by "Made" and a completely different way when they're not.
